co-concious but not able to control..only watch?

want sure what to call this thread..sorry

sarah is really close to front so if my spelling is bad ..that is why.
*ttigger warning- SI*

a couple months back, Saadie was way overwhelmed with inside chaos and upset with me and didnt know how to calm my anxiety down.. she cut us just a little on our arm.. not bad or anyhitng but still.
anyhow was werid cause well when she SHs us pinches or cuts or whatever.. i can see everything she does...i just can not control it ..i cant stop her all i can do it watch.. it is rather scarey.

she doesnt SH often only when things are chaotic inside or my anxiety and worry overflow to her (she has no idea how to help stop it)
the last time she SH'd us was in hospital with pinching us..
she hasnt since.
but does anyone else get that where you can see what is going on but cant gain enough control to stop it?

that is really the only times that i cant see m to have any control over her actions.
just curous.
Hiding

I've had stuff like that happen, which is one of the the main reasons we are considering DID rather than DDNOS.

I've had it so where someone is talking or something, and the thoughts of what is being said are not mine and I can't even tell where it's coming from in my head, it's like someone else is talking out of my mouth and I feel either far away or wondering what the heck I am saying and where it is coming from. Well I guess it really is someone else talking out of my mouth.

It's crazy when it happens because they can think and respond to other people but to me it's completely alien... they aren't my thoughts and I don't even have access to the thoughts at all at times, so it really is like another person talking because I have no clue how they come up with what they say or what will be said next... it's kind of scary when it happens like that but luckily it isn't that often I don't think.

Also happens with other stuff too.

we for the most part we dont lose time at all.. like right now.. sadie and sarah know what i am typing.
but like i said before the only type of "losing time" we havie is when it comes to posting or journal writing.. at the time that its posted/written we all know what is said but go back days or weeks later and re read it and it seems suprising what was said..as if i dont remember it. its odd.

its really kinda scarey to me with sadie concerning her SHing cause even tho i know she is not suicidal.. its still creepy cause well like when she gets mad and wants to (for example)yell at our boss and tell him where to stick oour job..i can control her enough not to let her.. even if it does make her pissed with me..

but with her SH- i cant seem to get het to stop.. its like she totally blocks out my voice and thoughts and all i can do is watch.
Hiding

Oh yes, this has happened to me but without any communication, or very unintelligible only.

when it first happened to me, it was kind of like SH i guess... but instead I was forcefed until it hurt

i hope my thoughts come out as intended on this...but i am sorry you have experienced that too however, it does help knowing that I am not the only one it happens to.
thanks
Hiding

Yeah chicken, we get that. There are some alters(/others/whatever you call us ) who are harder to pull in than others. So altho you are co-conscious & can experience whatever's going on you're the observer rather than the do-er. Like being a passenger in a car. You can, however, learn to be able to pull people in & swap to the main.

Most of us rarely lose time, I am very rarely out alone & if Mara's out there's usually a few of us around too. Normally me & J.
-Ker

When J gets mad at someone, and wants to tell them off, I can't stop her. I can see and hear the conversation, but I can't do anything about it. That gets me in trouble, sometimes.

mosaicmonkey wrote:You can, however, learn to be able to pull people in & swap to the main.

How?

usually hiding and me dont have to swap cause well i can pretend i am her well enough .. but even tho she tries she cant stop me when I SH.. She is lucky she can stop me from telling people what I think of them most of the time HA!
Hiding and Sarah swap out alot..its hard for them to do sometimes and it takes a while but they usually can do it.. like when we were in the hospital talking to social worker and psych dr. sarah came out for a sec saying something about the dr making her disappear, I think..and the social worker asked to talk to Hiding and she needed Hiding to sign something.. so Sarah went inside to her room..
she always gets her feelings hurt about being asked to go to her room inside tho.. think it makes her feel rejected..

SADIE

hidingme wrote: want sure what to call this thread..sorry

sarah is really close to front so if my spelling is bad ..that is why.
*ttigger warning- SI*

a couple months back, Saadie was way overwhelmed with inside chaos and upset with me and didnt know how to calm my anxiety down.. she cut us just a little on our arm.. not bad or anyhitng but still.
anyhow was werid cause well when she SHs us pinches or cuts or whatever.. i can see everything she does...i just can not control it ..i cant stop her all i can do it watch.. it is rather scarey.

she doesnt SH often only when things are chaotic inside or my anxiety and worry overflow to her (she has no idea how to help stop it)
the last time she SH'd us was in hospital with pinching us..
she hasnt since.
but does anyone else get that where you can see what is going on but cant gain enough control to stop it?

that is really the only times that i cant see m to have any control over her actions.
just curous.
Hiding

Well yeah you can't control her when she's out. That's why it's called SWITCHING. You've basically SWITCHED who's "driving", so obviously you can't slam on the breaks now matter how hard you backseat drive.

canolime wrote:When J gets mad at someone, and wants to tell them off, I can't stop her. I can see and hear the conversation, but I can't do anything about it. That gets me in trouble, sometimes.

mosaicmonkey wrote:You can, however, learn to be able to pull people in & swap to the main.

How?

Er... can I get back to you on that?! haha