What to do with abusers?

Hi, Delana

We'reREAL wrote:I can't give details about what is going on with out becoming a horrible mess. I will say that angel is not going after it like angela thinks. I thought it wasn't really happening until I got caught out for a small part. a few seconds is enough.
In all fairness though angel is making a bigger deal of it than really should be. We don't want to turn this into some kind of crime thing. She has agreed to go along with it for the sake of the kids. It would seem to me that would make it consensual. I truly wish it were different. It seems to be hugely unpleasant for her.

Well, is he doing anything to her? Just because she's not fighting it, so she can protect the kids, doesn't mean it's consensual That's like her jumping in front of a bullet, for someone else, and someone else saying "Oh, it's no big deal - she didn't have to" She's sacrificing herself, and I'm not sure how that's okay, if she's so upset about it.

You don't want to turn this into a crime thing... but is it a crime? If he's hurting her, that's already a crime.

We'reREAL wrote:they felt like our DID left them in a situation to lose and cause us far more pain.

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We'reREAL wrote:hey mis canlim i see my nam
i bad trubel
hi!

Hi, Caleb
You're not trouble, sweetie. This isn't your fault. No one said you were being bad... they just want to protect you all better. I think you're pretty cool

canolime wrote:Hi, Delana

We'reREAL wrote:I can't give details about what is going on with out becoming a horrible mess. I will say that angel is not going after it like angela thinks. I thought it wasn't really happening until I got caught out for a small part. a few seconds is enough.
In all fairness though angel is making a bigger deal of it than really should be. We don't want to turn this into some kind of crime thing. She has agreed to go along with it for the sake of the kids. It would seem to me that would make it consensual. I truly wish it were different. It seems to be hugely unpleasant for her.

Well, is he doing anything to her? Just because she's not fighting it, so she can protect the kids, doesn't mean it's consensual That's like her jumping in front of a bullet, for someone else, and someone else saying "Oh, it's no big deal - she didn't have to" She's sacrificing herself, and I'm not sure how that's okay, if she's so upset about it.

You don't want to turn this into a crime thing... but is it a crime? If he's hurting her, that's already a crime.

We'reREAL wrote:they felt like our DID left them in a situation to lose and cause us far more pain.

Yeah Sabrina would probably jump thru the computer & hit you if she saw that.

It's not consensual & it is a crime. It is really hurting angel!Sabrina took a lot of physical abuse for us & eventually she almost turned into a monster. You guys are one system you have to work together, help & protect each other. As for her making a bigger deal. Mara says this a lot to people & I totally agree... "just because you wouldn't react that way, doesn't invalidate the other person's emotions" Angel is suffering because of what's happening. Whether you agree with her reactions or not is kinda beside the point.
-Ker