might need some help

quicksilver wrote:Yeah, I'm setting up an appointment with a therapist for next week. She doesn't specialize in DID (only having treated one such patient), but she does have sliding rates... which is good for my broke ass.

Well, at least she's had one

quicksilver wrote:I saw a counsellor before, but he ended up defending both of my abusers...

Huh?!

canolime wrote:

quicksilver wrote:

quicksilver wrote:I saw a counsellor before, but he ended up defending both of my abusers...

Huh?!

Yeah... he basically said that someone who sexually abused me was prob "just experimenting." That was nottt what i needed to hear. Never went back after that day.

Ugh, I hate it when people try to rationalize what abusers did. That's not what we need to hear at all.
We need to hear it was wrong and it shouldn't have happened and it wasn't our fault.

If you need to vent, you can do some venting on the forums. Just typing it out, makes me feel a lot better sometimes,
and I don't always need to post it. <3 It's also great to have people around who know what you're going through,
have similar experiences.

As with any counsellor/therapist, never stay if they make you feel worse.

quicksilver wrote:Yeah... he basically said that someone who sexually abused me was prob "just experimenting." That was nottt what i needed to hear. Never went back after that day.

Wow. What an awesome thing to say to you

I didn't really know where else to put this post. I didn't want to make a new topic.
Last night was kind of messed up. I was posting on these forums and my parts kind of got into a fight.

James and David always seem to be out at the same time. They're the ones that're usually out socially. David's got some problems, and tends to shut out the world around him. James was pissed because David was holding him back from getting real friends.
We had threatened to lock David up over his behaviour. We got as far as the vault door before he caved and promised to change. I think that was a lie though. I think (but can't really remember) that he admitted that he had lied. He won't let himself be shut away. He keeps saying he'll always get out, no matter what.
I'm not really a fan of locking people up. It seems really inhumane.
THEN Tommy tried to tattle on one of the parts (not sure which) that was having suicidal fantasies. I thought it was David, and when I tried to type that out, David wouldn't let me. He kept changing his name to Grant. When I tried to question Grant about this, he (or someone else) made us numb. We couldn't move or think. I posted about it in another thread; we were paralyzed.
This is really weird because Grant has never ever taken control before. Ever. I didn't think he had that much control over the rest of us, to be able to shut us all out. but then again, suicidal thoughts don't seem characteristic of Grant. He's really cold, analytical and logical. Sometimes I think he's a sociopath. But it may have been another alter.

I don't really know what to make of all this and I'm still trying to sort it all out.


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edit
oh, and david changed my avatar just to mess with me. i left it because its kind of funny. lol

People CAN be trusted.
Trust and believe...
help is always available....
so is Love.