Very serious problems going on with Andrew *TRIGGERING*

Hi.

This is Kim. I have many things to inform you all on Andrew. He went from wanting to kill himself to wanting to kill someone else...an un-known person, a woman to be spaciffic. He is supposed to do the act on Saturday. This is where it gets weird. Andrew told the therapist he had to kill her. Let me take you back a bit....About six months ago, Andrew started hearing this voice in his head that no one else hears. The voice calls himself the devil and Andrew has become his minion. The voice is telling Andrew that if he does this bad act, then he will leave him alone. Tomorrow we go to therapy and I am afraid Andrew is going to block and bring a weapon with him to the session and kill her.

There is also something I have found out with a few weeks of Andrew talking in therapy. When I lived in California, I lived there for my first 11 years. Andrew was inside me at this point. I found out, he stabbed beyond recognition, 3 cats, 2 dog, a handful of hamsters, and a ginue pig. Then two years ago a neighborhood cat got mawled by something. They thought it was some other larger animal. No, it was Andrew. He said he feels nothing for the animals, no remorse, no sypathy, no guilt, he felt nothing but relief.

I told him and the others, we do not under any circumstances want to go to prison or a locked ward hospital, but he just kept walking around pacing, really mumbling to himself, talking to the devil in his head I'm sure.

One of the hardest things to deal with is that, "I" did all of this horrible stuff even if I didn't know I was doing it. Excuse me, but that is ######6 scary!! And, if he does kill someone whether it be Karen or some other un-known woman, I am the one who pays the price if I get caught.

So much has gone on in the past six months, I just don't know what to do or believe anymore. DID is such a struggle to live with, whether things are on the up or on the down!

Any advise out there? Would be appreciated.


Kim & Richard

David used my hands to kill my poor Rocky. I know how you must feel knowing that part of you did that. It doesn't get any easier, you just sort of push it back and try not to feel it.

Things fall apart, you go down with it or you fight it. If you're still lucky enough to have some fight left, put Andrew away and try to keep going.

I'm so sorry for you predicament. It must make you really sad and scared.

Well I think I would put Andrew in a hospital before I would let him kill anyone. That's what we did with Meagan when she got suicidal. Sucked but she hated it as much as we did, so when we got out and she starts talking like that we tell her she won't be able to stop us taking her back, so she backs down. Maybe that mentality will work with Andrew without having to go to the hospital first but I suspect you would have to really MEAN it or he'll just ignore the threat.

Can you call Karen and ask her to please frisk/inspect your belongings/clothing for your next visit, if Andrew shows up or before Andrew shows up? And try to make sure you have on clothing where a weapon would be conspicuous?

I hope it all works out. Keep us posted.

DeAnna and Sara

neveralone wrote:David used my hands to kill my poor Rocky.

neveralone: that makes me so sad! Do you think it could be a part of your recent hopeless feelings?
Good luck

Andrew should know that whoever he is hearing, is lying. It doesn't take much to call yourself "the devil" and to suggest to others that you should be listened to. Andrew should realize that it would be very easy for such an entity to tell lies. It is almost certainly true that it is lying about leaving him alone after he's gone through with the murder.

There are certain things that crop up in people that appear similarly, and this is one of the familiar faces. It has been successfully helped before, I'm sure of that. I've read about it a few times, with therapy and support. You should focus on making Andrew feel like he is on a team with many others on his side and that this "devil" is on the opposing side, even if he has to bear the burden of being the only one who can hear it for some reason, unfair though that is.

I hope there is some way to get through this very difficult time for you! Sorry for the crappy advice...

You should lock this new alter up. You might need Andrew's help, but anything is better then letting Andrew listen to this homicidal nut. I would definitely warn your therapist about this.

Jef

Hi, Kim and Richard here. We got to therapy and started talking about safety, and she asked me to pat myself down, I did and found a knife in my back pocket. I @!@@@! and went away and Richard took it out of my pocket and slid it over to Karen. She was very calm, she didn't freak or anything. She just said this is very serious and we need to talk it through. Karen is going to talk to my psychiatrist on Monday and suggest new meds for Andrew's rage to try and calm him down. I agreed we should do that.

Andrew came out after the knife was found. He looked into Karen's eyes (something Andrew never does....look into people's eyes). He told her after a minute of sitting there that he wasn't going to do it, that he no longer could after he looked into her eyes and saw the sadness in them. Although he did say the devil forced him to kill a cat last night, which he did. There was blood on the front steps and when I got home later today I searched the yard and found her. I threw up, she was so mutilated, chopped up really. I went and got a towel and wrapped her up and took her to the lady that she belonged to and just told her I saw her under the bushes in front of my building. The lady was crushed, but thanked me for wrapping her up and bringing her home. We do get coyotes now and then so we both said it must have been that.

The Devil is possibly a fragmented part that is trying to keep the system the way it is and is using Andrew as his minion. The Devil has him convinced he is the devil in his head....Not another part. The devil has convinced Andrew that Karen is the one trying to hurt us and that is why Andrew needs to get rid of her. He says hurt someone first before they hurt you.

No one else hears this voice but Andrew, so not too sure how to handle him (Devil).


Karen says she does not feel she needs to inform anyone yet as to what has been going on...Meaning details of all of this, the knife, the newest cat. I'm somewhat happy about that, I would not want to get into any trouble. Karen also said she is sticking with me through to the end. She knows we can work through all of this that has gone on in the last six weeks or so.

Needless to say, I am completely @!@@@! out right now, but I just got off the phone with Karen and that helped. And, I got Andrew to go on a walk with me tomorrow so we can talk...Just the two of us. That's something anyway.

Take care of your systems everyone.


Kim and Richard

There's something else. Karen thinks parts of Andrew are stuck in the abuse/torture and he is re-inacting this by killing the animals and wanting to kill people. When he was going through it he was given orders to do and had to say yes and do whatever the abusers said to do, and that might be why he is listening to the devil. He feels he has to follow orders to do very bad things.


Kim

I'm very happy and relieved to hear that the therapy session went well I was worried about y'all.

Question: just a stray thought you can ditch, I'm not trying to be intrusive. Is there any chance Andrew was in a cult as a child? I hope not, but it sounds a lot like programming to keep the secret from therapists. Thankfully my family quickly got out of the cult they got trapped in and Veronica came to resist the "programming" but it does happen. I'm glad to hear that Andrew is resisting the "devil" as much as he can and had the courage to look Karen in the eyes. It is a HUGE step in the right direction!

No cult, but a long time of sexual abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and major torture. Really sick stuff.


Kim

manyfacesofus wrote:No cult

Glad for that.

manyfacesofus wrote:Really sick stuff.

Sorry for that.