How long were you in therapy?

Hello everyone,
Firstly let me appologise for my lack of posts. It has taken me a long time to feel ok with this site and to accept I really do have something going on for me. I have posted here before, but a while ago now, though I do hope to keep up from now on!
I am having psychotherapy for DID and I am about a year into treatment for this problem. I have nose-dived recently and found myself all over the place, spending the majority of the time as one of my personas. My therapist has assured me that it will get worse, before getting better, but I must admit I am losing hope with ever being the old me that I once was.
Normality seems a lifetime away and that is why I wanted to ask some of you that have finished therapy, how long on average you think it took for you to be a little more in contol in life, and how long before your therapy ended?
Cheers xxxxxx

We have never been in therapy. Outside interference has never aided us.

By trying to find your way to the old you, you are holding on to your past. You are living in your past. You will never succeed in therapy if you cannot move on and embrace the new you and your future. You must stop holding on to something that can never be again.

-JUDGE

Officially we are on the waiting list for psychotherapy, but to be honest most of us don't want it. We're a pretty stable system & are happy the way we are so what's the point?

Can we ask, are you looking to integration as your ultimate aim?

- Ker, Sabrina, Josh

thank you guys for your responses, they are much appreciated. I would say that yes, I do want integration, but ultimately I want some level of control at the least. If I have to live with this, then I just want to be able to have some level of life. For so long now I am ruled by one persona or another, with no real unerstanding as to what I am supposed to do in order to be the 'real' me again.
It is because of one persona in particular, who for some reason would not walk out the house and relieve my ex of the stress, that has now driven my ex away and she is living elsewhere.
I feel so alone because of this, and I think if I am honest I would say I don't want to live this way. Sorry to lower the mood I am just really struggling and really unsure what I can do to help myself anymore.

I know how you feel. I think at some point or another we've all felt like that. However, as my system has stabilized, I've grown to like being multiple, so for me integration will never be an option.

That said, if you're not able to live your own life anymore then you're right - you need to have some level of control over your life. It's not easy that's for sure, it was easier as I had some alters on my side, & so we were able to set some ground rules. We're now more of a coalition government rather than me setting down the law, but I actually like it like that. I chose the job I wanted & it pays our bills. When I'm not at work, they can do pretty much whatever they want within reason.

You all need to talk!! like properly talk... if you can't speak to them yet, then get a notebook & leave them notes. Keep doing it until you're able to talk to each other & come to some sort of an agreement. I promise you it may take a while, but it's the only way you'll be able to regain some control.

Good luck!! xxx

-Mara

thank you so much. I am going to start the communication and see if it gets me anywhere, since many of you seem to know what you're doing, I really do have faith in your words. I'm so all over the place that I am beggining to feel that its useless and I should just give up, reading this has got through though.

Talk to me guys, I know you in there now come out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angry really angry

why you angry? *hug if you need it*

x

i'm crying. i made my best friend go away and I'm sad because i miss her so much. i wanted her to understand me and to want me around but she dont. she thinks im a baby because i cry all the time and she want me to grow up but i cant. she said if i went away from the house then she could cope and that if i did she would she would stay. But i was so lonely i wouldn't leave and now she has gone. im so sad it hurts.

It's hard when you're misunderstood. That said, sometimes our friends get tired too. Maybe she's feeling a bit down & needed a break from everything? Sometimes people can't talk about things & it makes it feel like our fault when really they just needed to get away.

I cry a lot, I'm very emotional, but that doesnt make you a baby. It just means you feel things maybe more than other people/differently to other people. I understand about being lonely, try not to blame yourself. I'm sure if she's that good a friend, she'll be back. In the mean time, I'll talk to you here