I'm pretty sure I'm Dissociative.

I'm not asking for a diagnosis, just if I seem dissociative or schizophrenic to you.

Ever since I was a child I was bullied at school, when I was bullied and I would pretend like I was someone else and it helped a lot. It got deeper and more serious when the "personality" changes switched in random situations, my other personality that was confident and could handle bullies had her own name, background, and details. I'll call her B. She started talking to me, and is always talking to me. Shes kind of like a voice in my head that tells me what to do. She does bad things to people, and thats the only flaw I find in her, otherwise shes what I like in a person. Lately she took over when I was having an online conversation with my boyfriend, I kind of "woke up" from a dream and saw that i had just typed something very nasty to my bf, but I don't remember typing it. Then another day my arm is completely bloody, and it turns out I cut myself but don't remember doing it! Its scary because I don't want her to give me a bad reputation, or ruin my relationships with everyone. I also want to believe I have control over when she comes out, but it feels the opposite.

I'm too worried to seek therapy, I know they'll think I'm crazy and won't take what I say seriously.. which is why I ask here.

Hey,

it seems to be more Dissociative to me. Schizophrenia typicaly develops at a later stage in a person's life, usually the early 20s as far as I know. I could be wrong on that. In any case, your story mirrors the stories of others who have posted here over the previous few months. The incident where you wrote something offensive to your boyfriend could be explained by you simply typing out of habit and not paying attention (and not due to any extraordinary mental problem). However, if you think that you need some help to move forward in your life, then simply arrange an appointment with your GP. I assure you that you will not be regarded as crazy. I used to think that I'd be called crazy for having the OCD symptoms that I do. I later found out that there are millions out there like me, and you'll see that there are lots like you too.

Kevin

Ooh, blackouts, saying bad things and slashing arms, been there before, many many years ago. You really need to talk to B about that. Cannot be having that. Very unacceptable for an alter to harm the body and the relationships of the core (thats you)

Hi, your symptoms sound like things I've been through. I totally agree with Bates tho, it's not acceptable for an alter to damage the body especially. I have had alters do that in the past, but you really need to talk to B and let her know that's not at all acceptable and you won't tolerate it.


-Mara

Hey guys. Can you help me here?

I have the same situation as the person who posted this. I was bullied (I am 15 now~) from 2003 (maybe before, I don't remember) up to now (that's 7 years, A LONG TIME! O.o). Here's my story.

I arrived here to the U.S on May 3, 2003. I was new, and my english was OK. I could speak, but it took me a while before I came here. I was very quiet, and I didn't really talk to anyone. But people still made fun of me. As I said before, I was very secluded because I didn't know anyone. Then one day, I was trying to make new friends, and we were on the playground. I asked to play, and they let me. Then they told me I couldn't play. That really hurt my feelings, so I went to play in the sand by myself. And I wound up playing in the sand by myself every single day. The only friend I actually made at that school was a boy named Matthew. But he moved away. Then as I graduated to middle school, it got worse. I was diagnosed with A.D.D just as I was going to middle school. And that effed up my grades. Anyway, as my grades deteriated, I got more upset. I started being in my own world (kind of) and whenever I was drawing my anime, I felt at peace. As if no one was bothering me. I was content. As the years passed, My A.D.D got worse, and people still taunted me just because I was diffrent and because of my looks. I wanted to die. I'm going to be honest, I felt as if my life sucked and I shouldn't even be here. Then came 8th grade. One day, this boy was starting to get on my last nerve, and I was really getting annoyed. But somehow... It wasn't me. I didn't want to be violent. But something told me to kick his arse (trying not to cuss =.=") and I lost it. My classmate, and good friend to this very day, held me back and I was yelling and screaming. I don't remember that day too well, as it's fuzzy. From that day on, I would always hear this voice when people would piss me off. And now he has his own name. John. He's older than me by at least a year, and he is German, but he does not remember anything from his past. So he has no back story. He's my agressive "older brother" and he takes over for me when someone says something smart to me or is being ignorant or annoying. He is a heavy metal lover, and has loved rock before I started taking it in. Now, when John came, a year or so later, I made a younger one. I had no name for her at first, so I simply called her Itaki, after hearing it from an anime I was watching one day. She is a younger sister, and she is as annoying as a little sister. As I went to high school, and I was in my freshman year, I made new friends. Itaki is attached to my one friend, Imani, and now, everytime she sees her, she calls her "oneesama" or big sister in Japanese. After that, my past kind of dissapeared, and I don't really remember anything from 2003 to 2009. When any of these two take over, I don't remember anything a hew hours after it happened.

Oh and also, I have Anne. She's 17 (the oldest) from the UK, and she's the responsible one. Kind of motherly.

Oh, so I'm motherly?
Yes... >.>

I also have a habit of writing what they are saying i I am texting someone... >.<

So, would you consider me dissociative? Or MPD? If you need more info, feel free to ask. I don't mind~

Welcome, ScreamoChick!

Starting your own thread, might work better (you'll usually get more replies) than replying to an old one. If you like, I could try turning your post into a new thread... I've never done it before, but I could try it

No one on this site can diagnose you, but that does sound like DID (it's not labeled MPD, anymore). Take a look around the board, and ask any other questions you may have

Thank you~

So far I figured it was DID (forgot it was called that now) after looking at forums and researching info. I was very anxious. I know no one can diagnose me, and I just wanted to know if it was DID. Also adding to that is PTSD (from ALL of the bullying. Not diagnosed, but I am SUPER self conscious about myself~ So I don't really know if I actually have it.) and like I said, my A.D.D. They both already make my life kind of hard~ But knowing I probably have DID, I will just have to cope with everything. But I know I can do it.

Oh yes, and she forgot to add something.

Hi! It's Anne here. I almost forgot to add this earlier, but I had to take Natalie to her evening classes.

Natalie had no idea about DID until her friend told her she has it. This was last year. She was very interested as to what I was, and she did research. She looked at the symptoms and saw she had MOST of them. She also did a quick "If anyone is here, please answer." Thus, she found out about John.

Well, I must help Natalie finish her homework, so I am off~ Bye!