Possession?

I don't know much about DID aside from the diagnostic criteria and the Hollywood hype. I do know I pretty much could not have it. But I have been having some pretty serious dissociative episodes lately and I think you people are the best ones to ask questions to.

I know about alter egos, and how it's apparently possible to not lose memories from switching. But do you ever feel like, instead of having separate identities, you basically have one identity, but there are these other entities inside of you battling for control? Like being possessed, maybe?

I have three of these entities, and two of them routinely take control of my identity. But instead of blacking out, adopting an alias, and acting like that other side of me isn't really me, I take responsibility for whatever happened and try to get out of the situation if it's not appropriate (i.e., my heterosexual side manifesting at a gay bar, hanging out with a friend and then suddenly becoming the person who hates his guts, etc).

But now that I know a little more about what's going on, I don't base my identity on those things that change according to which one has the wheel (things like sexual orientation, reactions to drugs, and other things that aren't supposed to fluctuate from day to day). I just kind of let them take over whenever they want to, and I no longer claim to have any kind of central identity aside from my name and physical body, if even that. I just don't know what these things are or why they're here.

I already posted this in the Living With Mental Illness forum, so sorry if it looks like I repeat. I've just been learning about this at a much faster rate, and I am seriously freaking out.

Well not all of us black out, so feeling like you sink back while someone else takes the driver's seat IS a symptom of DID if they are co-conscious with their alters. And some choose to carry on the identity of the core, instead of creating their own persona.

And secondly, they are NOT "things", they're part of you. They're seperate sides to YOUR identity. They're split off's of YOUR personality, not creatures of the night or something. Not "entities" like some kind of demonic possession.

And maybe they do have names, but you just haven't stopped to ask them. Ignoring them and letting them run wild is not going to bring any stability to your system. You need to try communicating with them and establishing some form of order.

How do I learn their names? The ones who aren't in control tend to talk to me (two verbally, one through other means), but they haven't introduced themselves or anything. They do seem a little quieter now than they used to, probably because there's less urgency to take over. I think they know that their turn is coming soon.

Am I supposed to ask them and wait for a response?

Well how ELSE do you get to know someone? You talk to them, of course. Say hello, ask them their name. You can do it internally since these people are your mental roommates, so to speak. Or leave them notes, keep a journal of your exchanges, that sorta thing.

I've been doing that for years, they've just never said their names. I've always just nicknamed them. There is one, the female one, who I think is named "Dul", but she hasn't told me that herself. She's here right now and I can "see" her in my mind, but she's not saying anything.

Does meditation tend to help? Maybe it would clear out the extra noise and I could hear what they're saying. Or lucid dreaming?

Meditation might help, maybe you're just not listening hard enough.