switching due to trauma triggers

hi guys, i'm bluebell.. i have so many probs i may have to post in diferent sections, but here i wanted to say what happened yesterday.
I've ot been diagnosed DID, i have bpd and cptsd, but sometimes. when im under extreme distress i swich and a little girl called emilly comes out.
Not many people have seen it happen except my ex who i desperately miss as he left recently and my old psyc nurse, bu i starteed dissociating last night and my friend happened to call and i switched just as i picked up the phone.

I don't remember anything until i came round and i think he was really great, if a bit freaked, but i feel so strange since it happened.

Tje trigger is that i got date raped 3 months ago and got bullied by the police into making a statement tho im too unwell to go to court as i did it before with another attack and it ruined my life.
my psyc nurse asked for it to be dropped and just found out it hasnt been so since last week i ve been really dissocating bad, all my abuse has come back and i am freraked about this switching..

emily is really little and scared but also really angry at me, and in the past when ive switched ive usually self harmed or done worse,

I thougth the dissotiation and switching had gone away until yesterday and im frightened and feel out of control.

My psyc is sure i dont have DID cos i only have 1 alter and she says its my inner child but when my friend talked to me today after speaking to emilly he said i had a completely different voicve, language etc.


so im not sure if i have did or whether its the bpd.

hugs, blue x

It took close about 7 years for my diagnosis of DID. Before I was PTSD, Dissociative Disorder NOS, and Anxiety disorder.
It just so happened that I underwent a year of extreme stress and depression, and I started to dissociate with greater frequency and for longer stretches at a time. A close friend (who was with me often) noticied that when I dissociated I wasn't just day dreaming, I was aware and I would act differently, younger, helpless. One day she asked who I was and the alter answered "Amber" but it turned out that this Amber was 13 and I was 20. So my therapist jut said it was a regression. A few months later, I was again dissociating but another alter emerged, with a different name, age, appearance, voice, likes and dislikes. This time my therapist was unable to deny that there were two distinct personalities, and that was how I was finally diagnosed.
Perhaps it is the BPD, but if Little Emily is distinctly different, you may be dealing with DID. You should try to get Emily to meet the psych. It may help with your diagnosis.

thank you so much for your reply and im sorry you have did.. she does feel different to my "inner child" and when it happens i really cant remember too much till i come round.

its frightning and im really glad it doesnt happen too often.. i will tell my new psyc nurse about it, i told my support worker but i got the impression she thought i was making it up.. this has happened to me in states of extreme stress and trauma triggers since i was really young.. seeing as ive spent most of my life livng alone, very few people has seem me switch.. my best friend has, my ex fiancee has.. that was the worst one.. he said i was switched for 2 days, he thought when i wole up[i d be back but sleep didnt help in that circumstance.

other friends and exes have seem me regress, curl up in fetal position , sucking my thumb but not met my lil one directly.

i'm feeling a bit better today cos i found out theyre not going to make me testify in my rape case due to my mental health so hopefully i ll be a bit better mentally .

hugs, blubell