DID or not?

i`m new to this forum and even newer to people openly talking about dissociation and re-lated disorders. until now i`ve only spoken to friends and mental health proffessionals about my belief [after a lot of self-analysis and research] that i have a dissociation problem. 1 friend seemed embarrassed and disbelieving of the whole thing while another [who i`ve been friends with for 20 years] said that for as long as i`ve known her i`ve always done it [dissociated] . while 1 MHP denied it exsists another declared that i was dissociating while in his office, although i don`t have blackouts i do have amnesia for childhood events and do have a problem with short term memory. i suffer with anxiety which is often followed by numbness and sometimes i feel high and spaced out [not caused by alcohol/drugs] although i do sometimes use both, mostly to cure myself of the craving for stimulation. after reading through some of these posts and identifying with a lot of what other people have posted i`m now more confused than ever i do feel as though ther are 2 people in my head, 1 the protector and 2 the victim, the protector always appears when i`m feeling v[unerable]. i sometimes hear my own voice in side my head [usually talking gibberish] but it`s not me! help! i don`t think i have full blown DID and at one time considered the possibility that i have BPD, however i can`t relate to all the symptoms. of course i`m not asking for a diagnosis, but any opinions would be greatfully appreciated. i have given up on MHP as i`m in the UK and in my experience they all ridicule dissociative problems and seem afraid of me as i am of them. help
i don`t want to have DID/BPD or any other MH problem, i just want to be normal, whatever that is

I have been feeling the exact same way recently. Only 2 days ago I learnt about the BPD and totally freaked out when I realised I was experiencing all of the symptoms.

Sometimes I can zone out and also hear a voice talking rubbish. It has made me feel crazy. All this has only really started happening when I gave birth to my daughter.

I booked an appointment to see a councellor instantly.

I am sorry I can not give you any advice because I am in exact same situation as you. But has made me feel a bit better already knowing that I am not the only one.

Help my head`s going to explode, someones trying to get out and i don`t know how much longer i can contain her for it`s not safe for her to get out . she`s not crazy but the world is

Hey, Mea, it's ok *hug*

You're not crazy, no part of you is crazy. Try and relax, and let her show you her feelings. Whatever this part of you is, let her know you're there to listen.

One good technique that people use is journaling, this really helps in identifying issues and letting your feelings out. Don't worry also if you're uncertain about talking openly, it takes a while to understand yourselves, and even longer to get to talking about it

*big hugs*

xx Harri

Thanks Harri.
i strongly believe she has BPD hence the reason for her confinement. the world is not safe for her, she is not safe for the world

do people with DID experience grandiosity when really instead of schizophrenia, it could be an alter standing out?

I have bipolar disorder, and I have other me's. They don't have distinct names, genders (other than mine), ages (except maybe one, but she very obscure and I only found her recently). There is a manic-me, an ocd/depressive-me (no one likes her), a logical-me (I would guess the dominant one, and a beautiful, innocent, happy-go-lucky child-like me (she is the obscure one, she never talks, but does come out to play with logical-me on occasion).

Perhaps they are my bipolar, or perhaps not. I haven't quite figured that out. The for the most part stay resident and converse with me and each other in my head. Sometimes I have to threaten them to get them to stop bickering. I do sometimes refer to myself in the plural when speaking of everyone in my head. I always thought that was normal, until the night I had to threaten them to get them to shut up. I do not know what is "wrong" with me, but I am fairly confident I do have bipolar and OCD, DID would be questionable. I would prefer to have nothing and be NT, but I don't have that choice (much like most people here). So, I am content to at least identify what is wrong with me so that I can begin the path towards and somewhat NT existence.

With a correct diagnosis, you can at least get the help you need and not let what is "wrong" with you continue to hinder your life (or at least that is what I keep telling myself)...

Good luck...