Need advice, girlfriend's mother

Hi. New here. I am here soliciting advice because I really don't know where else to turn to. I recently started dating my current girlfriend who I have been friends with for a couple years. Her mother was diagnosed with DID several years ago. I realized that her mother's condition meant stressful circumstances for my girlfriend and that it would mean stressful circumstances for our relationship. Recently her mother has decided to stop seeing her therapist and has taken it upon herself to lower her own dosages of medication.

My girlfriend has already lost most of her friends that we graduated from high school with because of her mother's condition. I want her mother to get better of course, whether that means getting help from a therapist, medication, or some other treatment option.

Her mother has emotional breakdowns of some sort (i'm not quite sure what all of that entails as i'm not privy to everything that goes on when i'm not there...i'm not family). Also, I haven't seen my girlfriend in two weeks. And not that i want to make this all about me, but because her mother is getting worse i don't know how my girlfriend will ever be able to have a life of her own (friends, romantic relationships, kids....) if she has to stay up hovering over her mother every single night dealing with this. she feels incredible concerned and for her mother but doesn't know what to do. like i said, her mother absolutely refuses to go to therapy and take her normal dosages of medication.

my girlfriend feels like she can never go out other than for school or work or something she absolutely must do. if she goes out her mother will forget where she went and worry and become depressed. so, she just stays home. i don't much at all about what it's like to live with someone who has been diagnosed with DID, but something doesn't seem right about how things are being handled. which is why i'm here.

i guess my question is, how do you force someone to be treated for DID? and if that isn't possible, what can be done? should outside help be brought in? who would that be?

she's worried about her mother because her mother goes into severe bouts of depression, with suicidal thoughts, but her mother won't seek the help that she obviously needs.

please, any and all comments and suggestions will be appreciated.

my girlfriend is only 20, she's in school and works all day and then comes home to her mother who is suffering from her condition. as much as i'd like to see my girlfriend again, i'd much rather she be able to see her mother get better.

thanks to anyone who responds.

So... DID isn't able to be treated by medication, in and of itself. (Sometimes doctors will choose to medicate the patient because different alters have their own mental illness, but DID isn't a chemical imbalance or neurological condition so medicating someone *just for* DID isn't going to work.) It sounds like there is more than DID going on. But being that she is a grown woman, you can't "force" treatment on her. More than that, DID is a protective mechanism. If someone *does* try to somehow force treatment, this woman will either commit suicide (an alter may likely see this as a way to protect themselves) or may very well lock herself up in her home and not allow anyone in.

The only advice I have by way of trying to help out is to get some books for a patient with DID and have your girlfriend give them to her. "Got Parts?" is a really helpful book for the patient. "The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook" is really good for the patient, family and loved ones of the patient, and even has a section for the therapist should she ever choose to see one again. But that choice is hers and her system's alone. "Forcing" them to go see a therapist is a very scary concept to them. She developed DID due to trauma and force of any kind is going to be triggering and invasive.

Other than that, while your girlfriend is there for her (a lot), it's important to let her (the mother) know you all are there for her and her system. -BUT- Your girlfriend also has a right to have her own life and her own activities outside of taking care of her mom. If this woman truly gets suicidal every time your girlfriend leaves the house, she (g/f) *can* have her mother put into involuntary hospitalization in a mental health unit. But that is a last resort as it will also be very upsetting.

thanks, a lot of stuff you mentioned I already knew or suspected. i didn't really think there was a way to force treatment, and i knew that medication wasn't a treatment on its own.

i hope it doesn't have to come to the last resort. but my girlfriend, and the rest of her family, don't know what to do anymore.

but i'm curious about something you said: "it sounds like there is more than DID going on." why does it sound that way? and what else could possibly be going on?

It sounds that way because she was given medication and DID can't be medicated.

I don't know her. I'm not sure what else could be going on, but it does sound like she may have serious depression.

well thanks twilightinsight for your responses. i have a feeling she's just going to break up with me anyway. the guilt of not being able to see me is just too heavy on her. i dont get why so many people have found ways to live with DID, but not in this case. anyway, thanks again for your responses, and for lending and ear to someone else's problems. G-d bless you.