Realization

Funny. When I moved out at 15 I threatened to never come back to visit unless my father mellowed out and stopped yelling all the time. Lo and behold, he did.

I always thought that he mellowed out because he wanted to see me and have me come visit and that he missed me and would miss me more if I refused to visit.

I just realized. No.

He mellowed out because his competition was gone. He had what he wanted. My mother no longer spent time and energy on me. It was just him, her, and my brother (who is 2 years older than me). He had no more reason to yell. I was gone. No more competition.

Ouch.

I hate that !@#$@#$@ bastard.

I moved out when I was FIFTEEN to live with a strange man who ended up sexually abusing me, and it was still preferable to living there with him and having him scream at my mom whenever I needed her time or support or anything.

Trixy,

Ouch is right! This is the same situation as my neighbor's. The dad was a complete &*&*^&* to their daughter and he would always go easy on their son!!!

The daughter moved a way right when she graduated. This was a ministers home too.

I am sure when you did leave though trixy that he Did MISS YOU.

(((((((((((((((((TrixyEtAl)))))))))))))))))))) hugs for you,

red

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TrixyEtAl))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Reality can be really harsh.. my biological father sounds rather similar by the way, everything in regards to me has to do with winning, and there's nothing else motivating him in his trying to get in touch with me despite my not wanting to and hurting because he tries. It's about being right, being superior, winning. Never about me. So even though our situations will be different, I can relate to this specifically. How are you feeling about this now?