struggling**dont know if it trigs*sorry.

I have accepted the fact that many facets of my personality and moods are so strong that they are a seperate ID for me"us".

I figured it all out, and was thrilled to learn and feel trust even when I lose time. I know that after all I have been through, I have my own back! I feel it . It is a belief.

For two weeks I-we have been on top of the world no reason to be afraid for I have many that can take care of whatever the situation calls for.

Until I went to church w/my mom. First off I never go to church.
And one of us really enjoyed church, while the rest of us were very very uncomfortable. It is like that sliver of me expected to slide right in, but every one is rejecting this person!!!

It is enough that now my "group" are fussing w/each other.Making seperate demands and conditions. ughhhhhhh!!!!

I would say 75% of the time, I can and feel a shift, during the two weeks thur was not shifting it was like we were locked arm in arm so happy and strong. Remember the old Coke commercial:

I'd like to give the world a coke, in perfect harmony......
if know one remembers no big deal.

I can I get back what I worked for? I have to control shifting.
Can anyone? Does anyone? Any advice. Help!

I thought lost time was bad, this is much worse, it is a inner battle amoung people who are me.

I know I am a mod, but forget that and just tell me this human being how I can help myself. So I dont stand and have a fight over what's for supper with my 12yr old!!!!

Thanks for anyones support or advice.
red

You're on a DID forum and you have no idea what she's talking about? No offense, but if you're not familiar with DID, hanging out here kinda defeats the purpose.

And Red, you need to communicate with your alters. You need to set boundries. Don't be a bitch about it, but make sure they understand you need stability in your life so you can actually function. Make them feel welcome to switch when you're at home, not at work or something.

Good advice Bates.
remember that it is all about compromise Red.
You have to give to get. See what you can give them to get what you need.
I hope that is a tad helpful.
Amber

The first step we took in my group for better cooperation and functioning was a set of rules. I can't really give you our rules because they need to be made to fit your own needs within your group. But some examples from mine were "No screaming. If you need to argue step away from the front to do this as it gives me a headache." and "No acting out. Acting out will result in losing front time; the larger the offense the longer the time out." I didn't go totally rule-nazi because they need their fun and their time, but we did set into motion that their time to be out is at night, unless they ask for time during the day and I have to approve this. The rules were a big step for us. Some of the more rebellious ones tried to push me but when they saw I was serious, they began to cooperate. A lot of the acting out was their need for validation and attention. I spend time with them, one-on-one, as often as I can. I talk to them, ask how they are, if they have anything they need to talk about, any complaints/gripes/something to bitch about, anything they need to understand about the world around them, and so forth. This has helped a lot too. I had to make myself move from the idea of "damn these guys are annoying!" to being their friend and accepting them for the fact that they probably saved my life but are very damaged for it and need attention, validation, and love. Especially the younger ones. They're still very frightened and not as rational as the adults who can reason that they are not being abused when they come out. Some of the kids come out and think it's happening. We have to calm them down and remind them of where they are and how old the body is now and that they're safe. We have to talk to them about what happened and thank them for keeping me safe during that time. Let them know how important they are. All of this has helped me so much. And it's helped them too.

-Leigh

i'd have to agree with the others. argung doesn't get you any where. bartering does. try not to get angery at them. instead, try being more understanding of the others needs. i'm reading a book that help you deal with the problems caused by d.i.d. it's called "got parts?" i ordered it off the net. it's got some good ideas. i also ordered the "d.i.d. source book" it's very informative too, but it's hard to read because of emotions that come up.

hope you all learn to work better, together. i have problems controling my alters too. they are just as pig headed and stuborn as i am! so, maybe somedays it sucks, but thoughs days get fewer the more i work on it. this forum has helped me to understand my situation more than anything else, so you come to the right place.

((((((((((hug))))))))))
benny

A'ine wrote:Mr. Bates...

Red is my friend. She helped me. I happened to catch her new posts under the Show New Posts topic. I was worried for her...she has been kind to me...and i felt i should try to be kind back. She indicated that it didn't matter who...?

I'm a nurse with psych nursing history, and if i don't understand what someone has, it's good to ask questions, but better to show i care, as well.

Asking what is wrong when someone is hurting is not a bad thing...it's a good thing.

A'ine

She asked if anyone could help her with switching, something only a person with DID could help her with. I never said you were wrong for wanting to help a friend, but don't go stepping into a forum without some basic knowledge on the disorder. Can't help someone if you don't know what they need help with. Hell, I am multiple, and I didn't join this until I read a good deal on it.

Then again, in my case, without going into details, was more like relearning it. Anyone who knows my story, knows what I'm joking about.

Mr. Bates wrote:

A'ine wrote:Mr. Bates...

Red is my friend. She helped me. I happened to catch her new posts under the Show New Posts topic. I was worried for her...she has been kind to me...and i felt i should try to be kind back. She indicated that it didn't matter who...?

I'm a nurse with psych nursing history, and if i don't understand what someone has, it's good to ask questions, but better to show i care, as well.

Asking what is wrong when someone is hurting is not a bad thing...it's a good thing.

A'ine

She asked if anyone could help her with switching, something only a person with DID could help her with. I never said you were wrong for wanting to help a friend, but don't go stepping into a forum without some basic knowledge on the disorder. Can't help someone if you don't know what they need help with. Hell, I am multiple, and I didn't join this until I read a good deal on it.

Then again, in my case, without going into details, was more like relearning it. Anyone who knows my story, knows what I'm joking about.

I have to agree. And I think my groups comfort level just went down a good bit.

i think i also 'switch'. is just too stupid.
im antisocial one moment, the next im normal, the next im rooselvet..
it sucks, but well..as John once said, to me they're all parts of our emotions, just so strong.. i don't have alters. anyways.

ok, ok, I think I got it.
First off thank you all for caring and sharing. I need your help, and you all did not let me down, thank you .

I have no rules, so that is where I will start. I believe I can get control, I love all of me.

One of you said that they come out when they think they are being abused and that is not reality, but they are scared. This has happened on several occasions.

I have two trusting adults that I "wish" had all the front time.
I will barter with playtime. Just saying it we get so excited. And I had been denying the little ones playtime. Oh gosh, that is where part of this has been the trouble, I was not letting them be theirselves, I was denying that they needed. I am understanding this.
Compromise, that is good to, I am responsible for the system, I just trip over unexpected things.
oh gosh thank you thank you thank you. This is where I had to let one of my "front runners" step aside so I could ask.

Jo: Yes they are alters of my personality. I am ok. I have spent alot of time just hanging down here reading.

I feel very comfortable in this forum. I just never had a bad problem with switching and compromise.

That is why we are stubborn, because I am stubborn. I cant believe I could not figure that out.

I was so scared when I posted.

A'ine did not know anything about this, very few if any did.
I know I am a mod, and I was afraid no one would help me because of that.
Now I know different. Today, I will play, get out the art supplies, and give my "front runner" a break and let the little ones play.
They sooo deserve it.
I know alot of people dont understand, but this forum has kept me "me". onnnne of my littlee ones is alreakdy outl.l seel;/?
i am Missy.

Thanks you all,

Problem solved. Pointed you in the right direction, and you found the answer yourself.

Remember Red, a multiple is a multiple. You could be the admin of the whole site, and we'd still help you.