the struggle to ask for help /cravings as communication

We have a real real hard time asking for help- at least for the big important things. and we're scared right now losing leg function and we decided on a powered wheelchair so we can go places again 'cause it sux being stuck and so limited. asked last year and was told we have to save up. asked this year, was told to write down exactly what we want so we researched and did that. and He said then "are you sure you need that? you havent even seen the specialist yet" and it hurt so much to be dismissed like that and gaslit when it was so hard to ssk in the first place. now we are back to saving up... i hope.
so.... scared, frustrated, trapped, hurting.
been gnawing on my cheek pretty hard which is internal flag for alters being stressed or upset. also have been having persistant craving for a specific sweet comfort snack. ran out, toughed it out. craving still there. a week later finally got more... and it unlocked something inside, one of the littles said finally! we've been asking, we dont ask for much. you finally got what we asked for. and it made sense. they needed me to provide and not stall cause we were getting stonewalled in the outside. they needed to know we would be ok and not to give up.
sometimes the craving is a test and a message. be kind.