How did you learn to let go?

As a host, I am admittedly rather domineering and I do not take pleasure in letting things stand as they are. I recognize that I could channel this into actually making progress on healing, but I struggle with letting my parts express themselves as they are and always seem to disrupt any progress I make. When I start to work on something new, I end up destroying it. Even if I don't, someone else does. It's really demotivating but I can't seem to help myself.

I want to do better for myself and for them, but I don't know how to let them be themselves without losing my mind -- especially when often times they express themselves in ways that are not healthy because they either have not learned how to cope with their emotions in a healthy way or they aren't ready to.

How do you reckon with having parts? How do you grapple with knowing that what they want to do or how they want to express themselves is so distant from you?

Eventually you just give up fighting - \ (") /-
We are curently struggling with one of our teens getting front stuck via jealousy so even after your host learns to share things can still get sticky.
We found that doing trust and jealousy excersizes designed for people starting a pollyam relationship helped just swap the partner you don't want to share for the physical body and it's all the same mechanics.

Good luck

I could have written your post myself! I have been diagnosed for about 20 years and it’s been gruelling trying to get cooperation and allow time for everyone. I truly hate doing it and it’s often counter productive. They are there, and in their place, to stop the chaos and fend off the world - it feels totally wrong to undermine that but it’s the only way forward.
I am currently making myself check in daily with the others and prioritising self care. I have been hear a thousand times but a new(ish) therapist is helping me tackle this stuff. I was freaked out last week as i realised I didn’t know everyone inside. It’s the first time in a long time to realise this and it’s a step forward, albeit very frightening.
My suggestions would be to do tiny, manageable things you can stick with - a simple check in every day to start with?