Noticing odd things here and there!

Thanks. We have found it difficult to work out time to share the front sometimes and get what needs to be done even though the 3 of us currently fronting seem to be more co-conscious and have much better communication with each other than others in the system.

We just seem to be really disorganised, so badly sometimes (not in a mailicious way) that I wonder if we possibly have adhd especially after seeing lots in news lately about the differences in how it affects females compared to males. (The body is female and us 3 all identify as female …and getting lost in daydreams regardless of who it is fronting seems to be a big issue for us).

Everything needs to be symbolic and we need to be able to visualise things to understand them. With us all having different abilities and some of not even identifying as human (though they can take human form) this has been challenging!

To try and make this easier Mila has agreed to step back from the front (taking control of the body) and just be an ‘advisory voice’ in the back who visits to check we’re ok, her new job means she should also be working ‘inside’ too and give her more freedom to work in whatever form she feels most comfortable in.

Meanwhile Ezri and I had a brainstorm to try and figure out how do we work out how to ‘share the body’ ….no humans we know have to share their body with another and we needed to understand it in a more literal scientific sense (well Ezri did!) and ‘see it in action’ ….so we started looking up how conjoined twins learn to share control of the same physical body as they are seen to share one body regardless of where they are joined and how many limbs they have and have no choice but to learn how to share control and taking turns (doing each others hobbies etc).

Even though we can take a break from each other and one of us go inside we are trying to work better as one when dealing with the public. When we need stuff doing around the house we do better when we’re working together and both focusing on the same task to keep each other on track. If it’s just one of us trying to get stuff done I tend to get lost in daydreams, Ezri usually ends up on PS5 instead with Mila then Mila gets nothing done either! ..so we’re trying to commit to at least getting one job a day done every morning, make something healthy to eat then we can take a break and decide who wants to ‘rest out here’ and who wants to go inside for an hours break and take turns with that. ..then meet up again to try and get something else done later though it depends on the fatigue levels as we do get severe fatigue and high pain levels some days.

However we do agree we should be seen to be one to the outside world so have decided to choose just one name as the host name and ‘Ellie’ works best as it also works as an acronym for us (using our preferred initials) it also gives us a greater feeling of unity.