New alter new troubles

by **Panther1830** » Sun Mar 03, 2024 8:13 pm

My alter continues to torment me every day and talks from me to herself to have me feel embarrassed, fearful, or mad. I am trying to fight her. But all she wants is to be herself as she says. No reason to be here other than torture me. Has anyone had a prosecutor that has done this and has no reason other then it's them?

Instead of fighting her ask her what she gets out of it. If she is fighting you because she has no sence of self try to encourage time front for hobbies. If fighting you is for kicks see if she could get those kicks through healthier outlets. If she is fighting you for attention or she is bored use the yellow rock method and lavish attention when she is even vuagly nicer than usual. Perhaps she has a reason but doesn't want to tell you yet.

Find out what feelings are invoked in her when she fights you this may give you a clue

by **ArbreMonde** » Mon Mar 04, 2024 6:03 am

I agree. There is always a very good reason behind it and it has its own logic, even though sometimes it's completely fudged up.

As an example, some type of inner conflict or persecutor types of behaviors I had inside were:

- refusing to engage with hurt/vulnerable parts for fear of feeling their feelings (self preservation)
- repeating the behavior of past abusers due to being stuck in the there and then and thinking it's "less bad" to re-experience it from the POV of the abuser than from the POV of the victim (self preservation)
- self-sabotage or system sabotage for fear of being abused if we succeeded in doing the thing (self preservation) or out of learnt helplessness

They are only examples taken from my experience and do not cover the totality of the reasons why a maladapted (persecutor) protector would act the way they do.

by **Panther1830** » Mon Mar 04, 2024 3:21 pm

Self sabotage due to not getting out so called enough. But still wanting to spend money I don't have. Is her behavior also now eating at night which effects my ed. She's asking for any negative attention. Self harm, self destructive, ill intent. She's ruined my teeth, and worsened hair loss by pulling out my hair She's taken this beyond my comprehension.

by **Panther1830** » Mon Mar 04, 2024 3:40 pm

When she first came she took it upon herself to get money from my neighbors. Cause of unknown reason. She harassed judged me on her own terms. And made me hallucinate her story that she's mad at me cause I'll end up homeless cause of my " deserving family". She's only ever stopped incesivly talking when I managed to call an alter out. But he left scared. She thinks she can sit just watching back and sit pretty with no consequences cause I have to deal with the problem. It's no fault of her own a d dwells of the negativity from dentist and others that find me in a negative way. The cops senareo was I was blacked out to anything that had happened, but she took control of those situations. And I have no clue so I'm doing therapy which I'm getting results she wants the cops again to save her. Hospital she screams.

by **Panther1830** » Mon Mar 04, 2024 4:23 pm

Her response to the situation is I'm not responsible for anything because we're did and nothing happens to her it's only me. And she wants the attention of personnel to aid in the help Beverly is the not the action the host is doing it nothing is wrong. During the actions of the cops I was blacked out with when conscious he'd no memory of event happening.

by **ArbreMonde** » Wed Mar 06, 2024 5:46 am

If this can reach her:

Hey, how are you? Sounds like you're hurt and not doing well. I know this sounds crazy but you share the same body as the one you want to punish, so if you do things that hurt the body or make the body in danger, you're in it too. Sucks, I know. Sometimes we want to just do something, anything, that will make the host react and it backfires.

I know sometimes the host really needs to be shaken good and learn to adult up. But thing is, right now it does not work, as you can see. Which is so super frustrating, isn't it? You have the right to be angry about that! But we need a change of strategy else the body will get sick and you're stuck in it so you'll get sick too. I know it does not feel like it because you are detached from it, but still, that's the sucky truth. And it sucks. And you have the right to be angry about it.

But you know what? There are solutions to get unstuck from this situation. To get the host to adult up, suck it up and do better. It needs one heck lot of patience tho and that double and triple suck. But once the host is back on tracks and the life of the body is balanced and stable, then you'll be able to sit the host down and have the serious conversation about what they need to do better and where their behavior suck.

In the meantime, I found it useful to have a diary somewhere to write down all that the host does bad and why they suck and how I'll shake them good once the body's life is back on tracks and stable enough. Helps manage the steam.

Take care of yourself. Being angry helps to react instead of passively sitting there waiting for stuff to happen, but it's heckin exhausting. Have a 5 minutes break from anger from time to time, so you can rest and be angrier later on. It's like yelling: you need to stop yelling from time to time to catch your breath and yell some more.

by **Panther1830** » Thu Mar 07, 2024 4:14 pm

She thinks she can hide behind me and not listen to meds. I take them and she screams and wails that they don't work.

by **ArbreMonde** » Fri Mar 08, 2024 7:21 am

Some medications can work weirdly on DID people especially depending on the alter fronting, it's really a case-by-case. Depends on the med and alter and DID system.

Also, if the dosage is not properly tailored to your overall specific needs, or if the molecule is not the best for you, it can be "not enough" for some alters' needs - or too much for others.

Good luck with that if it's the case for you. Finding the right meds and dosage can be a mess sometimes. Hope your doctor is helpful with that.

by **Panther1830** » Sun Mar 10, 2024 1:28 am

Beverly is saying she's taken control and is mad about having to wait for our disability. Personally I think I have a tantrum causing alter confused of I'm not a lottery winner. She spends way to much sometimes

New alter new troubles

New alter new troubles

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