For Persecutors to talk **TRIGGER WARNING**

That's fair. When we were first diagnosed with DID/OSDD, our therapist remarked that we had an unusually cooperative system, without the "civil wars" that he has seen some people struggle with. So it makes sense that we can't relate to the idea of labeling someone as a persecutor rather than a protector.

But clearly it serves a useful purpose for you. We'll just probably steer clear of this thread.

We used to have someone that fitted this label better than White and I do. We called him Omen. We don't know why he was like that. We think he was the depiction of a particularly violent bully. Only White knows as White has access to all his memories as well as most of ours. Hate her for it. Should be up to us to see if we can handle what happened. So, it's up to White to share that.

Grey says it's good for us if I try and meet likeminded folks. Says it's not good to mistrust everyone. If that's so then why am I usually right? Most people can't be trusted. It's hurt or be hurt, I choose to hurt them then. Had to stop being physical. Got us into trouble. Hurt with words instead.

Raven

Raven, that idea of interacting with like minded people is literally the exact reason Passion made this thread for me.
Honestly, I can kind of see the point, we have three IRL system friends and exchanges between alters of the same role were mutually revolutionary. Not fun to admit but the evidence is there.
I'm trying to work on developing a bit of trust in my headmates on these matters but it's not like they trust me, so it's obviously not easy.
On that note, communication is tough but showing White your effort and endurance could make a difference if you want a part of the truth. They also might be more willing to give you a part of the truth or a light explanation without disclosing the full thing.
I don't have much experience in this manner because our memories are for the most part shared- so my advice is probably awful. Let ir be known you have my sympathy if nothing more helpful
-Love from Dark

I agree with Arcanist. It takes time to build trust but we have to start somewhere and this somewhere can be with "mundane" things that have little to no stake.

What helped in my own system was for Zami (persecutor / maladapted protector) to communicate more about what dangers they spotted and why they saw it as danger - and for the rest of the system to actually listen and do something about it that is adapted to the here and now.

We started small, of course, then we progressively worked towards more complicated situations.

Learning about how to set boundaries and training about it helped us a lot.

Unfortunately, for us, the persecutor/maladaptive protector was stubborn and refused to accept any kind of change. This lead to bigger problems. However, we are trying to work with the other less than understanding parts which may edge into persecutor or maladaptive territory.

With our Lilith, it took a lot of work talking to her about what was wrong and why she acted in the way she did.

Alice

Hi Alice, Logic here.
Dark has been interesting to work with because of that uncooperation. Our first attempts to cooperate didn't go very well, we got a drawing pad and a pen with a close friend in the room and made an effort to trigger Dark out. She ended up trying to SH with the pen. At this point, I don't really trust her, but she can front and function if she is in a good mood. It takes time.

Hi Logic,

I know that I'm not a persecutor, buuuuttt...I'm Charlie. We figure that it might help for me to explain things.

Our old persecutor was Marcus. He didn't want to get better and Keira and Queen locked him away from the rest of us. We did try to talk to him (or at least Violette did), but he was adamant. He did not want us to be gay at all because he saw that as being 'sinful, painful and a path to some very bad places'. Of course, given when we grew up, some of his concerns were valid, but he hurt us all the time to try and force us to be part of his view of what was right. Marcus split apart in the end when confronted with the reality. Maybe he found it too traumatic to deal with. None of us are sure.

Our current persector, Valentino, seems to have coallessed around some parts of Marcus. We have hope that we can redeem him and make him better. It is going to take some time, though. He hasn't really talked to any of us, but this time we have a good idea of what drives him. He wants to protect us, but is just going about it all wrong.

Lilith is our success story. She engaged in SH in an attempt to end our dysphoria and it was rooted in her pain from the SA she endured. Once we could talk to her and get her to see how badly she was hurting everyone as opposed to lashing out, we we able to get her to feel better and safer.

We do hope that you are able to find out what Dark needs and can help them see what is necessary to help rather than hurt your system. There's so many ways to get there, and we hope that you are able to find the path here with friends.

Be well!

######6 redeeming! Like we are ######6 savages! This talk like this bulshit is why we don't trust you soft normies. This is supost to be a safe space for persicutors and already its become a winge fest and redemption stories parading around your domesticated little "saved" protectors like ######6 colonists with their pet *mod edit* dolled up in shirt and bow tie going "isn't my *mod edit* so civilised he used to be terrible you know" you don't care to listen to us you don't even realy care to give us what we need. How do you expect any of us to use this thread to be ourselves and get group therapy or whatever if you normies are constantly on here talking about how civilised we could be. You think we are going to be honest? If we were honest you'd be ######6 scandalised.

For this thread to work Persecutors need to be able to come here when they want, when they are in crisis, when they nedd to vent, not when they are being allowed to front as a treet because they are in a rare good mood.

There's a reason SOs are not allowed to aa meetings. Because addicts can't be honest in front of the people they are hurting or who are ashamed of them.

Yall reek of disappointment/shame/hurt get your stink out of here or rename this thread "for folk to compare their persicutors"


Raven you are so right about not trusting folk. We do see folk for what they are. Its not seeing the truth that makes us problematic, its what we do with that truth. Our reactions and coping mechanisms that need to be assessed and maybe (i said MAYBE all you normies eavesdropping) maybe they might need adjusting or changing. And maybe its our head mates that need to learn to listen to us and change the situation before we feel the need to take drastic measures.

We offered help to a situation. There was no need to be rude.

Valentino is not really capable of coming to the front, and we are not sure if or when that shall occur.

However, if you wish, please define the differences between 'maladaptive protector' and 'persecutor' for us, given that...shall we say that the others consider me to be a 'maladaptive protector' because my views on protecting the system are a bit...uncomfortable to them, but I would never, ever do anything to harm a hair on their heads.

But if we are unwelcome here, then we shall not darken you doorstep again.

Have a pleasant day,
Alice

Hi Alice.

I think you just highlighted our previous posters point. Persecutors react in extream ways to stimuli and actually being free to be rude or angry or condescending is a must if this space is to be used by the most maladaptive alters. They have to be free to talk about their feelings without worrying about the consequences. In the same way littles can freely express their exasperation with bigs and non of the bigs go onto the litles forum to say "no need to be so juvenile we couldn't do the fun thing because of adult reason grow up."

If you feel you belong here because you are misunderstood by your system and need a place to vent/look for advice on strategies or whatever then its your space too. Its not up to us to convince you that you belong here and FYI its never productive to threaten to walk out on someone and abandon a resource you need.

Perhaps it would have been a more present read if I (caretaker) had paraphrased however I believe the point of this thread being set up is to give persecutors the freedom to talk.

You can't force a hurt animal/child to act in a civilised way. To get their trust you have to weather their outbursts and respond calmly you have to see the why behind their chosen form of communication, you have to avoid turning the situation into how their communication method made you feel.and instead listen to the message they were trying to comunicate.

Only when they start feeling heard can hurt people start turning down the volume of their screams.