Balancing religious practice in mixed religion systems

Hello!
We've been running into a problem recently. We don't think it's a problem exclusive to us and we want advice and to hear others' experiences.
Passion is very faithful to the religion we were born into. Honestly, I think that is part of her job - to be faithful and loving in a religious sense to keep us safe. However, I am not so faithful. I am not ruling out the possibility that there is a higher being, but there truly is no evidence either way and I would rather wait to find out.
This has led to a conflict.
The religion we were born into forbids a lot of things, most of which make sense. However, I'm not necessarily willing to obey all the rules put in place and attend church every week for Passion.
I am about to say a swear word in a circle that wouldn't care, and Passion grabs control and censors the train of thought. (Since "unnecessary offensive language" is against the rules). I can't get a tea drink at the boba shop or have romantic and occasionally explicit daydreams about cute girls (We're AFAB) without her objecting.
Unsurprisingly, this religion has no policy on those with split personalities. Passion is takind the safe over sorry approach and assuming that if I sin she is going down with me.
How can we navigate what religious practices to follow? I don't want to practice certain ones and Passion can't stand ut if I don't .

Please share your stories

I was the one up front when we had a NDE (Near Death Experience) due to a blood clot. I feel more spiritual and another alter that seems to have formed from that believes she's the reincarnated spirit of our mother (who died over 30 years ago).. At the time I found myself at front I felt like I was 15 again and had always been that age inside and she presented to me at the same age also (when she was 15).

I couldn't see it any other way, others in the system don't believe the same... some think it was just a very vivd dream and we do get them more when its a communication from the inside than a regular type of dream you've forgotten most of bby the time you wake up.

Other adults/parts integrating with me lately means I can age-slide over a much larger age range and see things from other perspectives now.

We don't go to church though and don't have an interest in 'organised religion' just our own spiritual beliefs regarding reincarnation and spirituality.

We did go to sunday school when little and our parents went to church..we have always had a Phoenix in the system from a young age who could change and re-invent themself to create a new alter for us, so that may have come from learning about it in childhood and taking it a little too literally! (we have autism too). We were also not allowed to swear or drink (alcohol) etc but that didn't stop us developing alters who did!

I think sometimes if parents are too strict you automatically want to go do the opposite and maybe thats why an alter develops (in people that are already DID/OSDD) who is the opposite to the values you were brought up with?

Yuna

We're not sure how much we can help because we were never raised in a mainstream religion. Our religious upbringing can best be explained as 'ecclectic', but try talking to Passion about finding a balance.

One of our system friends was raised in a fairly strict religion early on in their life.. They ended up silencing their religious alter because of the damage being raised in that faith caused them. Meanwhile, our religious alter, Anathema, balances things out, but she's a Witch. We have worked out a balance for her to come out and do our rituals.

We do hope that you can find a balance.

Take care,
Violette

I will provide the Christian definition of sin here and I hope it will help Passion. We were told this by a church lawyer when we confessed that one of our personalities wasn't Christian.

For a sinful action to count as a sin all 3 of the following must apply
A) be understood to be a sin
B) be avoidable in the truest sence (ie refraining from the sin must not put you in bodily harm)
C) be desired by the sinner

Under the above rules stealing food when starving is not a sin, People with learning difficulties and children under 10 cannot sin because they can't comprehend the true nature of sin and someone that comits a sinfull activity at gunpoint is not sinning.

There is some debate as to whether alters have individual souls or not. If we have individual souls then nothing you do will impact her soul.

If alters share a single soul then the 3 rules of sin can be applied:

As passion does not desire to commit the sinful action the action your body does under another alters power is not a sin. If a little were to decide to eat cake on a fast day it would not be passions sin and it would not be a sin for the littles either. It could be argued that you as a non believer also do not fully comprehend the gravity of the sin. It is also argued by a number of churches now that being Queer is unavoidable and therefore not a sin. The sinfull part of a queer relationship is the sodamy (the only part of being queer that is expresly forbiden in the bible and also easily avoidable) I think the important takeaway for passion is regardless of whether when assessed as an individual you committed a sin or not IF ALTERS SHARE A SINGLE SOUL THEN THE MORAL OBJECTION OF A SINGLE ALTER IS SUFFICIENT FOR AN ACTION TO NOT BE A SIN UNDER CLAUSE C

Church is also not a building but anywhere where 2 or more gather in his name.
On weeks when our non Christian alter fronts the body does the non Christian religious stuff and those of us that are Christian hold a church service internally. I feel it could benefit your system if passion worshiped internally once in a while allowing you the space to have your spiritual needs met.

I hope passion is reassured by all this and in future refrains from interfering with your actions just to satisfy her scruples, I also hope that you are patient and respectful of her and let her express her religion to the fullest when she is front.

Personally I go about religious rules in a very practical approach.

- why is this forbidden?
- do I want to follow this rule and why?

I can easily understand all the "harm none" rules. Also I'm included in the people I should not harm, cf. the "stealing food when hungry" example of Eliseahorse.

Some rules have a cultural background: it's something that some cultures choose to restrict for their own spiritual path. Some foods are forbidden in some contexts such as fasting days, because it's a spiritual practice. These practices can be IMO adapted to fit your medical needs. If you have a religion telling you to eat fish on fridays but you're allergic, get the next best thing. Is it important because of the symbolic of the fish then you need to find something with a similar symbol like fish-shaped crackers? Is it important because it's a "fasting day" then instead of cutting down the meat you can cut down something else like coffee, donuts, chocolate...?

Some rules made sense in a specific timeframe and no longer need apply. In order to know which ones, you need to dig deep into the history of religions. Some things are forbidden because culturally they were symbolically impure and it was part of a practice to be symbolically / spiritually pure. These things can be "updated" if you want to. Example: if it's forbidden to wear mixed/blended textile fibres because they are "impure" but you just cannot get any at a reasonable price, see what would the next best thing be. Second hand of 100% blends? Going for brands that are more responsible regarding human rights and the environment? Learning to make your clothes yourself so you can put less money and more labor into your clothes? A mix of all of the above depending on what's most practical for each item?

Regarding christianity, the rules of some comunities are way more restrictive than the rules Jesus said were important to follow. Double-check after me but from memory, he said the rules to follow were the 10 Commandments (be nice with others and have only YHWH / Jehovah as a god) plus "love thy neighbor". He also did not hesitate to kick ass when nasty people crossed the line and was buddy with all the marginalized people. Coz one can be a "public woman" and be sinful in that regard, if she has a kind christian heart, that's enough to redeem the few sins.

So it's up to you to decide what spiritual rules you want to follow and why. Not because somebody told you that you'll go down for it, but because you want to follow the rule because you trust the rule.

IMO (raised christian but I'm an apostate so take it with a grain of salt) Jesus is supposed to be a shepard you follow because you love him and you know he'll teach you to be kind and lead you to green pastures and peace and joy. He's not a rabid dog biting at your ankles driving you left and right with the power of fear threatening you with nasty things if you disobey.

IMO there is a difference between obeying out of trust and obeying out of fear.

So, that's how I personally managed my spiritual life. I logicked it out and mixed it with therapy. But I also know other people need other solutions. I hope that my rambling will at least give you some food for thinking your solution for yourself/ves.