Alters cenoring thoughts

Hello! We've been experiencing something I can't find online information about- that is, censorship of our thoughts.
This has only been something I've been noticing for a month or so, when I started to really truly consider the fact I might be split. Upon thinking too hard about painful things or trying to pin down Dark in our head my thoughts would censor themselves something like this (TW for suicidal thought)
What is my consiousness anyway? Amfffdont thinkGic or like some kind of sheiiino stotreesdirtpainkillyourselfOr- Or some kind of-FfffNoSjjfhoDjfoDnfoDieDieDie I'm dshk Trying thdicfuSssHhhhKkkOhGodshOhGodsgv Think what was I thinking
and then I would space out for any time from 5 secconds to five minutes.
I haven't heard of anything like this. The thought paragraph looks like keysmashing but that stuttering is what it sounds like in my head
Any advice or experiences would be appreciated

This "censorship" is a dissociation thing. (thanks Captain Obvious).

It happens when we try to think about something that's too stressful for us to properly focus on it. Or when we try to express something that part of us think might be dangerous to talk about. Anything and everything that can, seen from a certain point of view, be seen as a possible danger. Sometimes just thinking about "I am in pain" can be enough to trigger it.

It's a self-preservation mechanism, at its core. You do not have enough inner ressources yet to face the pain fully so your brain just flips the switch to protect you from said pain.

It eases up the more you build communication, grounding and sharing of inner ressources. Do not force it. Just be gentle about it. Whoever does it, does it to protect you from something that is too big to face at the moment. It gets better with time.

Sometimes it helps to ask inside why you are being protected/shielded from the pain, who does it, and to thank whoever does it. If it causes too much blackout or spacing out, there can be a discussion about how to have the positive effects of the protection without the negative effects of spacing out.

You'll find helpful ressources in the ressources thread, in books such as "Healing the fragmented selves..." "Coping with trauma related dissociation" and on the website "Troubles Dissociatifs Documentation" (the link in the ressouces thread redirects to the automatic english translation)