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K system musings and ramblings

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K system musings and ramblings

Postby irishsunrise24 » Thu Jan 04, 2024 9:52 pm

Hi it's K today. I woke up this morning in a lot of pain. I felt one of the unnamed alters lingering close by and think it may be a new persecutor getting ready to front soon. I figured out (with K8s help) what Tex is here for and he will be getting a talking to about his behavior while he was fronting a couple weeks ago. I've also been having a hard time sleeping the last few nights because the inner world has been buzzing with activity. It's been rather hard to stay in the "driver's seat" so to speak. I haven't had dialogue with inner dad lately and his anger is getting rather overwhelming. I guess I have to sit down and talk to him about why he's angry this time. He has mom in full on protective mode and our littles are all hiding. I'm not getting much support from the rest of the system so I feel like I'm on my own today.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby ArbreMonde » Fri Jan 05, 2024 1:40 pm

Sending moral support! It's not easy going through the tough times. We get through them eventually but gosh it's one heck of a ride.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby AW10 » Fri Jan 05, 2024 2:36 pm

What you are describing is that pretty much every alter does one's own things and feels one's own things without trying to work as team and so bring order in feelings and actions of whole system.

Try to find alter who is likely to consider everyone, perhaps you K, then have that alter be usual front, and then with other alters define conditions when and how each alter will be relevant.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby irishsunrise24 » Fri Jan 05, 2024 4:36 pm

There is no continuity with communication at the moment. We are still trying to figure out the system. We just know how many distinct identities with names we have right now. That's why we're here to get ideas and resources. Slowly working through the list. K8 here this morning. Restless night last night and the body is in much pain and discomfort so I fronted today. K really needs to step up her management skills because this pain is a part of what triggers us to rapid cycle. She needs to get it under control. I do not want to be here on the outside. Yet here I am.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby irishsunrise24 » Sat Jan 06, 2024 12:44 pm

So now we have 10 alters? Now it makes sense why we've been so busy in the inner world. We have two new identities that are becoming more present and one is a teenager version of KKs daughter A. The other is an ex of Ks named D. It's getting a bit crowded. Still K8 this morning. I was hoping K would be here to front on time for work but Im gonna have to do it this morning.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby Eliseahorse » Sun Jan 07, 2024 11:42 pm

Do you have a pill box that separateness your tablets by day and time? We have a colorcoded one (like a rainbow 7 colours for 7 days) with our phone alarm going off to remind us to check the pill box . Its made a big difference to how we manage our chronic conditions
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F???
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby irishsunrise24 » Tue Jan 16, 2024 1:26 am

We are all sad today. K's nephew (not an alter but person in the outside world) passed away. It has been a hard day. :(
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Tue Jan 16, 2024 2:20 am

Sorry for your loss.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby irishsunrise24 » Tue Feb 06, 2024 2:39 am

K here. It's been a rough few weeks of mourning and other chaos but it seems the majority of alters have banded together to help out keeping everything straight for now. I'm not managing very well right now because I'm in so much physical pain from the Sjögrens syndrome. I've been feeling a bit disconnected and some depersonalization and derealization (probably due to the physical pain). One of my unnamed alters (I loosely refer to her as sex addict) keeps having intrusive thoughts in the inner world that I have no interest in partaking of and I've been fighting with her to keep her at bay because she seems to want control to do stuff and I'm not up for that nor do I want it. Usually where she goes a persecutor follows. I've realized that they are always together. She wants to throw caution to the wind and go crazy and then afterwards the persecutor takes over and "punishes" her/me/us for seeking out attention. I am tired of fighting against her but I don't want her drama and most of the others don't either. I'm probably going to have to go into the inner world and deal with her. I don't like this.
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Re: K system musings and ramblings

Postby ArbreMonde » Tue Feb 06, 2024 7:16 am

It sounds like a difficult time to deal with. Managing maladapted behaviors is not easy.

You'll find a few advices here : https://troublesdissociatifs-wordpress- ... r_pto=wapp

The link tanslates automatically into english. Hope this helps.
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