Constant depersonalization and derealization period

Hello, I have been learning my system since August.

Sometimes I go through these long periods of brain fog and derealization/depersonalization, and feeling “flat,” which comes with partial anhedonia. It feels like I don’t quite exist, like I exist in a space between. I want to do some of the things I need to do and feel better when I accomplish them, but I also procrastinate, it takes me so long to do things. It is like I am disconnected from everything I do. Right now writing is very hard because it feels like I am trying to communicate things through the fog, dragging the words out of me, like I didn’t quite write them, they look off and not right.

I don’t know how long it has been that I have felt this way. Sometimes when I feel a certain way it is like I have always felt this way, I can’t remember a time when I haven’t, even though I know it isn’t the only way I have ever felt. Or at least I have experienced another alter feeling differently. But I can’t access memories of feeling differently, everything is overwritten. The present moment feels endless, like it has no past or future. I feel like I don’t know who I am. I think I am the host, but sometimes it feels like there is another host at times. It is hard to tell where I begin right this second.

Does this seem relatable to you? What can I do?

I've experienced that for years and years in the past. What helped me was to slowly work my way towards more grounding.

Books like "Coping with trauma related dissociation" and "Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors" helped me bunches and buhches for that, but you'll find dozens of other ressources in the thread I linked in my signature

ArbreMonde wrote:I've experienced that for years and years in the past. What helped me was to slowly work my way towards more grounding.

Books like "Coping with trauma related dissociation" and "Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors" helped me bunches and buhches for that, but you'll find dozens of other ressources in the thread I linked in my signature

Thank you. Have you figured out why this happened to you for certain periods at particular times? What triggered it? Has it meant anything? The depersonalization right now is so bad.

Stress is what triggers it for me usually. Things that are stressful for me include but are not limited to: gender dysphoria, school bullying, autistic sensory overload, ADHD executive dysfunction...