Inner System Conflict

Just something I'm thinking about.

I don't believe in bad alters as such as I believe that I have a fully protective system.

However I do sometimes sense conflict between alters from time to time.

Like for example one is remembering something and another one wants to not remember and there is a conflict there. It's almost as if they are having a little argument.

Can anyone maybe let me know if this is something that is common with DID or with dissociative disorder in general. I've noticed it happen for years but I've only just realised what it actually may be.

Thank you in advance.

Our system went through a bad patch in the bodies 40's ..peri seemed to bring ones to surface who hadn't been out for years, initially some went back in but as we learned more about DID they started argueing over who should be the next host.

The system decided on a 'taking shifts' so everyone who wanted to got to front but it still became a competition to prove who was 'best for the job'

The situation kind of resolved itself when we had a stroke and a couple got trapped out front with no communication with the inside....but of course it was a difficult time and they were desperate to get 'back inside'. It did result in everyone working together more willingly though when communication was re-established and having been left with ME too from also getting covid during pandemic we often now just don't have the energy to argue..it's seen as waste of resources when there' so little of it available to get through the day!

Jay

It's very common, because there's more than one of you, so there's bound to be arguments and conflicts. Even though you're not completely separate, it's still different people having to share a body and a life and limited time, and having different opinions and preferences. Learning how to compromise and get along and respect each other is a huge part of the healing process. At least it has been for us.

Even though our system works together for the most part, we still have disagreements and arguments. Sometimes it can be about things that are as simple as the Littles wanting candy to big things like getting certain things done or working on certain things. We argue sometimes over video game choices.

This is why we have rules. As was said, it is something you work on while healing.

Take care,
Violette

Thank you everyone

It is completely ok even for integrated persons to have conflicting opinions and points of view. But for us dissociative people they seem impossible to reconcile or impossible to cohabit together.

There are tips on how to deal with it in books like "Coping with trauma related dissociation" and "Healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors" and others from the ressources thread.

Hello Western,

Since I am here and happened upon your topic, I thought I could provide you the example of our trinity.

Our trinity consist of three personalities, if you will. The host is our primary concern and her will is law to me, however the alter named Sword, though she has admittedly the best interests of our host at heart, is prone to objections. This sparks arguments between us by which I mean she often yells at me for objecting to her objections or attempting to reason with her.
Aside from that, I act as a keeper to a lot of traumatic and violent memories. My host is good-hearted and wishes to help others. I fear the memories may corrupt those feelings as well as instill fear of the living within her and perhaps self-loathing.
Sword insists she needs to know the truth and become her own person by allowing those memories to shape her.
She may argue all she like. In the end, I hold these memories and I will not share them unless the host truly wishes to know them. So far, she does not, and yet the topic has formed the basis of many senseless arguments between me and Sword.

To conclude: yes, any alter, like any individual, can disagree with another alter or individual regardless of whether that is inside or outside of their head space.

All best,

White/ Shield

Hi, people.

I know that sharing your body with other persons is eternal conflict. We all have different goals, different values, different views of future life. Important thing is to prevent serious fights, harming body, hurts other people or broke things.

I can tell a story of conspiracy from our teens life. In that times our system is counting 4 alters, we meets in our inner world once in a week and just discovering ways to communicate. In that times we dont know how to control our changes. We "goes front" only by external triggers. But everybody chase his personal goals. A (i am) and B (security man) was an older alters from childhood, C (creative man) and D (party man) was new guys.
I'm just starts to appear in school, not only live in apartment. I meet a girl and she was my trigger, we fallen in love and i spend all my time for her (but she is never known about my condition). And i realize how big and wonderful world outside the apartment windows.
B wannabe an evil mastermind. He has not an any feeling at all, even pain. Only him can survive through everyday home beatings. But he had a sharp mind and he was good in people reading. He makes planes to flee away from home, and he wanted to stay an only person in our body. Because only he can save the body (in his opinion of course).
C was easy person with writing talent, his goal was to pleasure parents with good education, job, etc. It can be called "traditional values" or something like that. "Family-work-credits-kids-and-all-what-our-parents-say-to-do-else" He needs to be a good son. He goes to school and often lives in apartment like me.
D wants to lie drunk without pants under the bouncing girl all the time. Loud music, big companies and drink oportunities are triggers his appearing.
Everything was ok until our system goes to far big city for next stage of education.
C and D are on that big city all the time. My girlfriend goes to that city too, but i not appeared there. In fact C stole she from me, used she, and brutaly drops she. Because our parents not liked she. I was literally smashed, and i hated him so much. In that time C (or C and D) got into difficult situation. Our father sets our up for money, we faced cruel court and so on. Everybody of us blame each other. Everybody not see any good future for us. And B is figured out how to communicate in inner world after meetings. He offered me and D to kill C - he was active all the time when we got in troubles and obviosly was a main threat for all of us. Two month we realizing how to go to inner meeting world not only in one evening of week, and finally figured it out. In bath nap we can go into a trance state, and through it we can appear on meeting room. And once, when C goes into bath trance, we grab him for hands and legs, held him and drowned him to die. Our body drowns too, but our neighbor (physical person from another room of apartment) heard noise of fight and save our body.
It was awful. For me it was an worst expirience of all my life. In that times we dont know that "killing" of alters by that way is not possible. It throws me into "sleep" for more than 10years. D was never show up again, i dont know where is he, but he's disappears after that drowning too. B achieve his goal, stays alone, but he cant live everyday life, he starts makes "golems" somehow - they acting like us but not was a real persons. I'm not interested to know about that "timeloop" period at all.
Now i'm and C is only alters who active. And we still have a huge conflicts. But now we know how to kill each other for true death, we don't know who win if we fight, and our diplomaty is stays on fear. For now it's works. We comply with agreements.