Alters and relationships

Triskelion wrote:

Dwelt wrote:

I hope that for you and yours it'll get to a point where you can allow everyone their time together as well as their time apart. I have no littles, but I can imagine how horribly scary it must be for a little to show up while you're in bed with your partner, and for your partner and you too, especially since he's new too it. At least you seem to have a good idea going of how to respond to it. I hope things will get easier for you all!

~ Grey / Knight

Thanks. We see this stage as a major step forwards. We were told by our T when we were discharged that it would look on the outside as if it was getting worse as we got better and we were like "pft we are so organised and got this" we even posted on here on our old profile about how healed we were its quite embarrassing actually. Because we wernt healed, we were in an arrogant stage of having identified everyone and believing that a host with a strong enough will was all that was needed to keep everyone in line dishing, out an allowance of outside time etc.

But that was just us abusing ourselves. Eventually the illusion of being healed cracked. As unpredictable as the current situation is at least now we are all equals working through our problems at our own pace. We are actually listening to what each other needs and working on compromises. We have finally accepted that we all deserve an equal say in the present.

We no longer believe it is right for one person to be incharge controlling switches or allowing parts because that infantalises the system. Where this belief in equality will lead we don't know.

We hope you feel empowered by everyone's answers on here to open yourself up to outside relationships and inside relationships because having someone (or multiple someons) who gets you and who is there for you even when they don't get you is so so wonderful.

Hi this is Cherylann and we are a system of around 20 with a puppy on the inside and kitty on the outside. I am in a relationship with David which for easy terms to understand is the host of the system. We love each other very much and try our best to take care of each other. We coexist and are out front the most. We have 5 kids (littles) from and 2 to 18 and we tell them how much we love them all of the time. there is another relationship going on with 2 of the other adult alters inside which is on and off and we also have one alter which is gay in no relationship right now and feels lonely. It was really refreshing to see this initial post which makes us feel like we are not the only systems with relationships. We only tell this to our T and she seems to understand and encourages us to continue for right now which is really nice and I hope our relationship never ends. Hope this post helps others who have these relationships to let them know that you are not alone. We would not have it any other way. For us it is beautiful. Cherylann