Hi all, Wolf here --
I wanted to check in and say hey to you all.
We are still around. Still stuck in the parent's house. We were supposed to escape this year - we graduated college - but we don't have the job we need to move yet (we plan to move somewhere far away; a friend is helping us find a place we just need a job). It's... not easy being stuck here all day but it's not as bad as it could be -- parents are at work all day, I have a few things I'm doing but mostly I am in the house. It is not ... easy. We want to leave so bad.
Our old T who was DID Specialist retired (she improperly terminated with us it really hurts still) and the new T kinda... she's trauma informed but not DID. And she's kinda blunt and I dunno. She's alright but I don't think she can do much for us anymore-- our issues get more DID specific as time goes on. It hurts.
Lots of bad stuff (not abuse or such, just. Genuinely crummy things) have happened this year with primary abusers side of the family so we've been stuck dealing with that until recently.
We're relatively (?) OK. It's... we look alright on the outside but it is not good. We don't do anything. We just sit around all day on the phone on social media. Not even talking to people. Just scrolling. Well I mean I am talking to friends on a messaging app but ... I don't do hobbies. I just sleep or scroll. I can't leave the house (disability). I have very few IRL friends. I am so sick of living this way. I feel like it will maybe change once we leave but we don't know when that will be.
And I feel like I lied. To the rest of the system. I said - promised - we would be free after we left school. And we are not. And it aches and gnaws so badly.
We are still here. It is very hard but we are. I want to be active on the fourms again; besides the Specialist T and the group I was in, this place has helped the most. And I appreciate you all. I hope all of you have been managing to make it through OK. And if not that you're being kind to yourselves.
That's all. Thanks for reading.
- Wolf