Can't Switch out or access the Inner World

Hi, I'm recently discovered that I am part of a system, and have since been trying to have someone switch out with me so I can go to the inner world, but nobody seems to either be able to, or want to switch with me. I have tried getting to the inner world and have made it once, but I can't get back anymore. I'm completely cut off and even my twin in the system, Percy, is becoming more distant. I can't seem to contact our care taker and I don't even know if the system has a gatekeeper.

Can someone provide information on how to get to the inner world, or how to accept a switch if one is happening, or how to communicate to one of my headmates that I want to switch out? I honestly just want to go to headspace and be able to decorate my room so it isn'r a black void anymore.


Oli
(They/She)

Hi Oli

We (SuKi) are twins.we definitely have the strongest bond with each in the system and are the only ones who can control the body simultaneously.

Can you try and contact your twin? Sometimes something like meditation can help as it puts you in the right focused mind-frame to focus on the one thing (contacting Percy and calling them to the front to blend with you). There are apps for guided meditation if you've never done it before. .. this could also work for enabling you to visualise your inner world...it works for us anyway!

You could also try writing a note but then Percy would have to be able to front to read it, unless you sat and read it out to them in hope they were listening? Is there something you both enjoy doing??..maybe invite them out to share the experience with you? ..say for eg you both love takeaway pizza and have a favourite film ... decide on a day you will do that...write it down...read it out ..then stick to the plan even if you don't hear back... and see if they will come out to join you once your sat down with said film and pizza? ..even if Percy doesn't show up someone else may have overheard and come forward to communicate with you?

Once you have established communication with someone you can ask them about the inner world?

SuKi

Our system recently went through a very stressful and difficult time and that included me (Violette) getting cut off from the system so that the others could be protected. Sometimes that happens. After that time, our system connection has been growing and others have started coming to the front.

So, my question is, are you undergoing a very stressful time right now? That might be why your gatekeeper has closed things off.

I wish I could give more advice and help.

Violette

Thank you both. I was able to meditate and access the inner world, but I don't think a switch happened. One thing I've noticed is that mapmaking comes naturally to me, and that I am probably the best at it in the system. There have been times where Percy and I have been quite blendy, but nothing ever past that point. I "summoned" a pack of post-its in the inner world and wrote a message to my headmate, Mike, who likes to play video games. I told him that he could play the video games today if he wanted to. I also tried to communicate that if someone else wanted to wake up in the body that they could. It didn't work, but it was worth trying. It is getting significantly easier to drift between the Inner world and reality. I am considering that after switching becomes something easier, that I may retire as host and focus on mapmaking and helping out around the inner world. And to answer your question, Violette, yes, I am going through a decently stressful time right now. I will try and update this post if there is any more progress on switching and inner world stuff.

Thank you for the help,
Oli
(They/She)

A switch does not mean that you can magically walk inside a magical world while somebody else pilots the body. This is not how it works. You and the other alters of the system are one and only brain.

What happens when you switch is that you can :

• feel your identity changing, your point of view, reactions, abilities... change. What happens is that your brain shuts down some areas and turns on others. It cannot access stuff that is not in here, meaning you cannot magically do things you never learnt to do. But you can suddently remember things you had forgotten, or be able to do something you had forgotten how to do - and you can forget how to do things or forget memories. All of this is temporary. When the integration (= reconnection) process happens, all of the memories and abilities become accessible all of the time.
• feel like "somebody else" is piloting the body while you watch, because the being-consciousness is no longer connected to the acting-consciousness. It happens when the alter connected to "being" and the alter connected to "doing" are still disconnected from each-other. When the integration develops, this feeling of being "piloted by somebody else" subsides even when the identities remain separate.
• completely forgot where you are what you were doing etc. because there is no connection yet between the two alters/parts who switched one for the other. It feels like a more or less big memory hole.
• suddently remember you were doing something else in the Innerworld before switching into the body. This is a way for your brain to "fill in the blank" and avoid the panic of being aware of the amnesia between switches (if you have amnesia). Sometimes instead of "filling in the blanks with Innerworld stuff" your brain just forgets that it forgot. So instead of realizing you had an amnesia and freaking out, you just carry on as if everything was normal and as if you had no memory gap.

So, what IS the Innerworld?

Nothing.

I am NOT saying it is fake or not real or invented or anything. On the contrary it is a very important aspect of functionning for dissociated people. But there is a lot of misconceptions about it. You only have the Innerworld you need to have. It is a way for your brain to become aware of how it works and a way to allow different alters/parts/brain areas to interact with each-other.

When the brain is NOT dissociated, a lot of communication, functionning etc. happens "in the backstage". Everything is wired directly and you are not aware of most of what your brain does, how it takes decisions, what area of your brain is active at a given time etc. When the brain is dissociated, it cannot do all of this "backstage". All the informations need to go through from one area to the other, and that's through the frontal lobe (where is the areas that "thinks" in the conscious way of "thinking"). So the different parts of your brain take names and shapes and tastes and backstories (= identities) and they send this into the frontal lobe and also they build a little backdrop too, landscapes, etc. where they can interact with each-other. And this landscape is the Innerworld.

When you need to have a complex one to allow for complex things to happen, for many parts to interact at the same time, it can be really huge. And when you do not really need one because it's really just Sally who needs to pass the memory of a phone number to Nick, the Innerworld can be as basic as a small notebook with the telephone number written in it that floats in a blurry empty space. Or anything in between.

It all boils down to what you NEED as a system at any given point in time.

In order to "access" it, you just need to relax and turn your attention towards the inside of your mind. It works like any imagination process except that imagination is when you use your will to create something, Innerworld stuff is when you allow your brain to talk to you through pictures, sounds, emotions... inside your mind. Depending on what you need / how your brain functions, it can be as vivid as a lucid dream or as dull as the little movie that plays in your head when you read a 3 lines fiction on Twitter.

There is no magic trick.

There is no ultimate secret.

There is just you, the many shades of you, trying to communicate with each-other.

About communication (automatic translation from french to english - stay tuned for the upcoming articles!) https://troublesdissociatifs-wordpress- ... r_pto=wapp

About cooperation between the alters (automatic translation french to english) https://troublesdissociatifs-wordpress- ... r_pto=wapp