Stuck fronting!!

Hi!!
Lately I (the host) have been wanting to escape and let my other alters come out more. Only 2 problems:
• i have a hard time staying in the mind
And
•the others are uncomfortable with being out for long periods of the time
But my depression and burn-out have really been hard on me, and i think it would be good for the others to come out more.
Idk what to do, i feel like im making this a problem when it shouldnt be. Am i being selfish?
Any advice??

All I can think is that they don't feel safe coming out for long periods of time. We don't come out for long periods of time because we are afraid of others seeing/noticing us. I don't know if I can offer much help, but I know that I get overwhelmed trying to take care of most things so Vi is out most of the time.

I hope things will be better soon.
Lilith

The thing with burnout and depression is that they show you need to slow down and work on making your physical life safer for you as a whole. Dissociating to get another alter to fill in for a time only numbs the effects of depression and burnout, it does not make it magically disappear.

So IMO, if you are stuck fronting it means you are the most able to deal with the outside situation at the moment and if you, the most able one, cannot take it anymore, IMO it means something needs to be done to change the outside situation.

In french we have a saying, "Qui veut voyager loin ménage sa monture" meaning "If you want to travel far you need NOT to overwork your horse". Do not overwork your "horse" (body/brain).

Sometimes self care is not about taking a bath with cucumber slices on your eyes. Sometimes it means saying "no" to all social things, getting yourself to the nearest doc, getting a full blood test screaning, 2 months prescribed resting time and 10 therapy sessions. Sometimes it means saying "fork you" to that person you cannot stand so you can have some peace of mind.

Just want to say burnout is something i deal with a lot with what i do, and it is a super hard thing cause I feel like I need to be going fast fast fast, doing more more etc, but with my issues i can't just keep at it, and learning to take time and breaks and let go of the huge fears around slowing down is a big time lesson for me.
I thing ArbreMonde is very wise here, like it can feel like a super power somewhat to be able to switch parts and just have someone else take care of things, but it's not like a super healthy thing to do that.

There is another unfortunate possibility as well, one we are too familiar with: having no choice about it. When you're poor and have issues, when family isn't exactly a source of help, you often live one step away from not eating or not making rent. Burnout or not, capable or not, you have to keep working, you have to keep interfacing with people, you have to do things, even if you are burnt hollow and feel unable to take another step, even if you desperately need time to process, even if you're well past the red line and have been for weeks.

If this is the case for you then A) you have my deepest sympathies and B) there are some things you can do. But they aren't a cure, and some of them have a steep price tag. Here are some things I have found that help:

1) Hold a big chunk of ice against temple and forehead when things get bad. It has some helpful physiological effects that can bring you back from the edge a little.

2) Tense every muscle in your body as much as you can, hold it for 30 seconds or so, and relax everything at once. The overwhelmingly relaxed signal this sends to your brain can be so powerful that it's like a deep meditative state for a few moments.

3) Play hard, as much as you can in constrained circumstances. You need true relaxation, yes, but you also need to throw yourself into it, too, and have some intensely enjoyable things to offset the unbearable ones a little.

4) And, yes, switching fronts can help. As ArbreMonde says, it's only a temporary patch, not an actual fix. But you gotta do what you gotta do when things are desperate.

As for your particular situation, when your other alters don't want to do that, you can't force them. If they won't help then, one way or another, there's nothing they can do with your circumstances. There is a trick that we used to use in such circumstances, though, that can accomplish something similar. We used to cultivate a sort of partial dissociation. Keeping the front, but stepping back from the world a bit inside. It felt like nothing was real, or that I was interacting with the world one step removed. Not easy to function like that, but it allowed us to function when we would otherwise have fallen, and that allowed us to survive. If survival is at stake, this can pinch hit for switching fronts. I'd not do it otherwise, though. Probably got all kinds of negative consequences.

I hope this is all just speculation, though, and that things aren't so desperate with you. Good luck!