######6 $#%^!

I hate the way some people glamourise this disorder.

It's not fun or glamorous, it's $#%^. ######6 $#%^.

It's brought on by the most horrific circumstances at such a young age that you're most likely not gonna remember because you most likely wouldn't have even understood what was happening to you.

If there's anyone out there reading this who thinks DID is a bit of fun then you seriously need to have a rethink.

I agree with Western. The "it looks fun" part is the tip of the messiest, painfulest iceberg.

It's not "talking with other people in your head" it is "being torn to pieces to the point you need to talk aloud between the different pieces, and some of them can even feel like outsiders so much the wound is deep".

For 1% fun of talking with other people in your head, there is 99% pain and wounds to heal.

It's not "I have the superpower to communicate with a cooking chef when I need to meal prep" it is "my cooking abilities are torn so far away from the rest of me that they became an independant being I need to summon every time I want to make a PBJ in the right order of ingredients". 1% fun, 99% wounds to heal.

The beauty is in the healing, not the disorder. Glamourize healing and learning all you want, but please do not galmourize the wound.

You would not glamourize a broken leg, no matter how fun and colorful you can make the cast. Same situation here.

Thank you. Just needed to get that out of my system. I get tired of not being able to talk about what's going on with me because I just hate the thought that there are people out there who are trying to get information so they can fake symptoms.

I didn't realise how serious this disorder is until I started therapy.

The fakers are less than we imagine. Most of the time they are DID people who suffer from imposter syndrome and try to "look more real". Which is another can of worms. Still annoying tho, because it's like seeing someone with a nasty cut trying to look like they have a broken bone so they can be taken seriously.

We ran into someone like that. They were voicing the opinion about how 'cool' it would be to have DID, etc, and then it dawned on them that they were voicing this because they didn't understand it. It finally hit them that they had it. They just didn't understand what it involved. It took a bit, but they apologized for how they didn't understand and we helped them understand. We helped them cope. I do think that they overdo trying to make it clear that to people that they have DID, but we can't police their actions.

I sometimes think that my system is so used to hiding that it's just second nature for us. We don't tend to tell anyone unless we're comfortable. This makes it so that we don't want to draw attention to ourselves very much, and can make it hard to understand those who do engage in such behavior.

Our friends LJ and LB have dealt with someone who faked having DID, but the reality is that it didn't take all that long for their deception to get exposed. Too many 'I'm seeking attention here' flags. When they were exposed they then tried to claim they were in the hospital dying, but that didn't hold up either.

Vi

I suppose I'm just getting frustrated at the moment with it all.

Therapy is really difficult for me because I can't seem to stay awake for very long during the sessions and my T has extended my time to a year. But I'm scared that he might give up on me if I'm not making progress.

It's taken me all my life to be brave enough to let someone see me dissociate as well and it feels like its all getting a bit too much for me at times.

I went to my session today and I'm still not really back to myself yet.

I don't understand why your T would give up on you. Progress is sometimes very slow. Our T has been very patient, and while we've made progress over the course of four months regarding individual therapy, it's taken more than a year for us to make much of any progress at all. We still go through bad days. We still go through rough patches. We still go through horrible times. And all of this is a session a week since November.

I do hope things get better, and I know it is going to take quite a time.

Vi