Body age and alters ages

Hi, this is Lilith...I wanted to ask a question. I was told that my age is tied to my level of healing. I don't think this is accurate. Does this make sense or is it wrong?

ViTheta wrote:Hi, this is Lilith...I wanted to ask a question. I was told that my age is tied to my level of healing. I don't think this is accurate. Does this make sense or is it wrong?

Hi Lilith

I think sometimes it can be. Some of ours stay one age or start at one age then grow a bit older, but others can age-slide and switch between specific ages.

Jay

Thank you. Our T said that, but I wasn't sure. Pippa seems perpetually thirteen. She also giggles all the time. When I hurt I keep feeling so much younger than I normally am. Maybe I age slide too.

Lilith.

Actually I'm curious to know ...age-sliders... is this because an alter is fused with another fragment?
eg our Little Susie... usually 6 but can slide to 8 but doesn't very often.... is that because LS is fused with a fragment of an 8yr old alter but maybe 6yr old Susie is the more dominant part?

If she ever fused with adult alter would their age then be the max age she could age slide to? ...and her age the youngest they could slide down to?

Jay

TheTriForce wrote:Actually I'm curious to know ...age-sliders... is this because an alter is fused with another fragment?
eg our Little Susie... usually 6 but can slide to 8 but doesn't very often.... is that because LS is fused with a fragment of an 8yr old alter but maybe 6yr old Susie is the more dominant part?

If she ever fused with adult alter would their age then be the max age she could age slide to? ...and her age the youngest they could slide down to?

Jay

For me, it was kind of the case. We discovered that our agesliders were, in fact, alters made of very small "primary dissociation"-like parts, who shared the same sense of identity, except for the age and trauma related to the age.

Like, one of our protector was made of an ANP of 19yo, and two EP of 9 and 14. They all answered to the same name, have the same likes, dislikes, etc. They also shared enough memories to see themselves as the same person. So, most of the time, he was feeling 19 and had some access to the memories of the trauma related to his EP, but things were missing, like the emotions. When he was triggered, an EP would take over, he would age-slide and gain access to those missing things.
It was a very "C-PTSD-like" way to function.

Right now, the majority of our system has integrated into two remaining alters, and we ageslide only when some parts who haven't totally finished integrating yet are triggered (positive or negative trigger). The ones who have resolved their trauma and integrated properly are all 100% identifying with the body's age and there's no ageslide because of them.

Hi @Dwelt

What do you mean by 'primary dissociation-like parts'?

I wonder if that is why some members of our system see the system as bigger than the one's I've met and know about..ie cos they know there are several others 'hidden within' each 'named alter'?

I think our system may be aiming to get down to 3 as we currently usually function in 3's. There is usually

a 'social mask' - plays 'host', deals with communication with external people, stuff like school, college, work in the past.. these have been made up of the same one for 10 years or more disconnected and unaware of the inside but also during teens and more recently whoever has the best social skills to deal with that situation then goes back inside, I guess they would be 'the ANP'? (including myself)

one with less social skills or much younger age who tends to front only when home alone (EP part maybe?) often triggered by favourite TV programs or video games.

and a changeling (non-human part) that has usually been the EP's companion on the inside for many years. For Child Alters they tend to take the form of animals or fictive characters and for adults ..more like 'spirit guides/guardians'...so at least one group would need an 'inner world' to live in separately I think?

Jay

What do you mean by 'primary dissociation-like parts'?

Part that doesn't have a full separate consciousness and aren't developed, like the EP you could find in someone with "only" DP/DR or PTSD. They could be called "fragment", I guess. But they aren't isolated fragments, they are fragments that form a whole alter together, an alter who function like someone with DP/DR, PTSD, C-PTSD or BPD.

I think that kind of alters it can go under the definition of a sub-system? But I'm not sure about that.

I think the whole age-slide thing with me might just be I 'feel' young when I'm vulnerable. I am certainly a decade older than when the Bad Things happened, at least internally, but I don't feel healed at all.

Lilith

Dwelt wrote:

What do you mean by 'primary dissociation-like parts'?

Part that doesn't have a full separate consciousness and aren't developed, like the EP you could find in someone with "only" DP/DR or PTSD. They could be called "fragment", I guess. But they aren't isolated fragments, they are fragments that form a whole alter together, an alter who function like someone with DP/DR, PTSD, C-PTSD or BPD.

I think that kind of alters it can go under the definition of a sub-system? But I'm not sure about that.

@Dwelt I think we have now managed to integrate such parts between the remaining adult alters. We are down to 7.

I think you (think it was you!) mentioned once the concept of a 'slider' (button) as opposed to a switch between one alter or another? so for the ones integrated it was like you just slid a button across to be 'a bit more of one personality than the other'?

We are working on trying to get our system down to 3 ...each individually being able to age-slide the range of the fragments within them (eg if one co-host had fragments or other alters ranging from age 6-26 within them) ...so there's an 'individual slider button' but also a 'Group slider button' ..so when those 3 main co-hosts were blended there's a slider button to be ...'a bit more Kit' when research needs doing...or 'a bit more Kathy' if housework needs doing etc .. without having to perform a switch.

Kit & Bobby want us to be more true to the original autistic self that we were born as (before we were programmed to 'fit in with normal at all costs') but we need a minimum level of sociability to be considered by others (authority..social workers etc) 'capable of living independently' and left to do things our own way.

I think they realise they need to be blended with a more sociable part permanently if they want to stay at the front but want control and for the 'autistic personality' to be the dominant personality, but they can turn up the dial or slider when needed to deal with 'official business' or 'social events beyond that they'd like/enjoy. (some thing's are necessary ... eg funerals...no-one enjoys them! ...but it's important to pay your respects and support other family members if needed) ..or sorting out finances..with banks/benefits offices etc. ..Its still them anther personality hasn't switched in and taken over but they temporarily have the social ability they need to cope with the situation for a couple of hours.

Jay

Most of our system is not the body's age.

Our body is 31, as am I, the host.

Then most of the others in our head are between the ages of 28-18, and then we have one ageless/age slider, who goes from being little to an adult with no specific age, one who is in his 40s, and we have a little as well.

For me, age has always been a number, and most of us don't even think about our number, honestly. The closest to me in age is one of our protectors, but even so.. I don't know if their ages relate to anything. Like, the older they are in the system means that they are older in age (because the oldest alter I have, who has been here the longest, is the one in his 40s.) or if it has something to do with the 'age is just a number' thing to us.. or even if it has to do with the fact that I do not feel 31, and so most of them choose to take a younger age.

I've always wondered, but I don't think it's uncommon at all.

- Narie, host.