How do you talk to your alters?

Hi, just wandering how do you communicate with your alters and how do they communicate back? Do they only speak as thoughts in your mind? Do you journal? Do they use your mouth and voice to respond to questions? How do you communicate with them and how do they communicate back?

We have a combination. I think it has to do with how integrated the particular alters are. I can whisper/talk to about a third of the system without issue, but have to leave written communications for others.

If you are looking for advice on how to communicate, you will have tips here: https://www.dis-sos.com/category/commun ... tionships/ and also in the book "Coping with trauma related dissociation".

Regarding my own experience: I have used mostly journalling, thinking back and forth, "telepathy" (hearing voices/thoughts), sharing images and sensations, pseudo-hallucinations (visualization) of the Innerworld and alters, "inner councils". I rarely use "talking aloud". My girlfriend functions differently, she talks aloud more often, writes less often.

To each their own!

How do I communicate with alters? Meticulously... in gentle words, patiently repeating and waiting. It has taken years to develop communication with some of them.

It depends on the alter which way of communication is possible for them and what they can pick up on. But mostly I've learned to be okay with communicating into a "void" (not getting any responses). So I will talk out loud, journal, think "in their direction" (sometimes sending images), play, engage with media. I try to make an effort to invite them to listen. Sometimes it helps to use their name.

Over time, it seems to trickle towards them. Like slow drops, the messages can come across.

Then I often get feelings, images, words, thoughts, voices, drawings, etc. in return. Or I get to watch them as a bystander while they do some of those things.

Sometimes I also try to put my hand on my body where it hurts and that can help too. Or asking them to put their awareness in one hand and then holding that hand with my other hand.

I think for me the most important lesson was to accept that it will take time and can take a LOT of time. Sometimes on the internet it can seem as though it's normal to establish extensive communication right away, but actually that is the exception. It is normal to not be able to communicate directly at first, especially with alters you haven't been aware of for a long time.

We were unaware of each other for many years. There was no communication between any social mask host and any insider coming out The host would simply not remember that time. I was previously a 'secondary host' who got triggered out front when the primary social mask host was getting tired. There was no communication between us back then I came out ..she disappeared and vice versa.

It was only when the onset of peri-menopause (mid 40's for us) triggered severe emotional mood swings that started triggering several to the front at once some knew of each other for the first time!

After this time more were able to communicate with each other and took turns to 'host' in public as our 'social mask host' fell apart due to ongoing health issues.

Now we are all able to communicate telepathically sending either 'virtual texts' or images/video clips. Some talk to each other verbally if they are hosting together (alone at home) and talking to the (real) dog too, but never in front of other people. eg host may say out loud...'what we having for dinner then?' ..'littles' tend to send images of fav foods or fav games/tv programs if asked 'what are we going do today then?'..older teen/adult alters send thoughts as full sentences as they would if they were another physical being and had answered verbally. If they are 'inside' and don't want to come out at that time... they can send like mini video clip so host can 'see them inside' and that they are busy doing something else...so its good now but its taken nearly 10 years from the point of some 'knowing about others' to 'the entire system to be able to communicate with each other'.

Jay