we are currently editing the afterword of the book project (we are almost done!!) and it covers exactly that topic. sometimes triggers need to be addressed during stabilization because they are in the way of more stability but its a bit of a grey zone into phase 2.
basically you have 4 options. puzzling, re-orienting, discriminating and processing.
Puzzling is when you put together pieces of the memory that gets triggered and you understand how it started, how it went and how it ended and you understand that this was a thing in the past. It needs true Realization and not just head knowledge for this to help with triggers. Everyone has to feel deep down that it is over and isn't repeating itself anymore. this is most useful for conditioned responses.
re-orientation needs the least amount of knowledge about the trauma situation. You just know your trigger and prepare for the triggering situation. You focus on noticing all the safe things within the situation with all the triggered parts. big focus on 'this is today' and 'this is safe, can you be aware that nothing bad is happening right now'. It needs very solid abilities in grounding the triggered parts and actually noticing the real life situation today. It takes a long time for this to stick and override the trigger.
discrimination is a technique for trigger exposure that we explained in detail over here
https://www.dis-sos.com/discrimination/ . you need more knowledge about the past situation and prepare by separating past from present. Then you expose yourself to the trigger while keeping in mind everything that tells you that this situation is
different from the past one. it helps the brain to check the situation first to see if its safe or not when you encounter the trigger the next time. An exposure like that is only possible in specific cases and is really fast. can be done in 30min with a simple set-up.
processing uses different techniques to change something about the trauma memory itself. It highly depends on the technique you use.
IFS would suggest your parenting approach of taking care of the Littles until they feel safe with the situation.
IRRT is a rescripting technique where you look at the old story and then make changes to it and retell it with a different ending. Often by rescuing the kids from their bad situation in some way.
EMDR would process the feelings about the old situation and allow them to develop and mature into something that fits your adult perspective.
SE works with impulses that were held back during the trauma. by freely following the impulse today the old sense of being stuck goes away. The trauma response for survival isn't needed anymore.
Processing sessions are usually short and effective too. about 45min for processing and some time to prepare and to finish well. But they can feel really hard and they need the greatest ability to stay grounded when facing trauma. It's a deep dive. they often process more than just a trigger. This is helpful for more complex situations. so this is truly phase 2 work and not a grey zone anymore.
the results you can expect from processing...
you will still notice the trigger more than you would notice a neutral object or situation. You are still aware that this is a situation that used to trouble you. But now the brain has the ability to double check what is going on and to decide that it is not dangerous. We used to get very triggered by headlights from cars. First time we ended up outside after processing it, we saw the lights and instead of having an immediate reaction we looked up and saw the sky. And seeing a sky and then the street and everything around us showed us that we are not in the trauma situation which happened in a closed room. So we kind of held our breath for a second and then released it. No danger. we still notice headlights. We don't have a flashback or stress response when we see them. the natural orientation response comes first and there is a new evaluation if this is a problem or not.
for us it makes the difference of being able to stand in a certain position and just feel uncomfortable or to crumble while we are on stage. Getting it 'out of the way' restores some freedom.