Ageing and DID-TW just in case..

TW: Briefly mentions cancer, (natural) death from ageing and religious beliefs such as re-incarnation

As I'm re-learning about our system it seems many of us are way younger than the bodies actual age even the oldest ones. even though we only seem to actually only have one child alter now (unless 'Bobby' is an age-slider & has returned to child age when they went back inside) Is this a common theme in DID?


Even the eldest (of our system) seem to have 'young minds' in some respects ...usually in terms of things like favourite foods or films/hobbies etc that we find RL people mostly don't consider as 'age-appropriate'.

(Though this seems to be changing in society more and more..like now people are realising video games are good for spatial awareness and helping people with things like Parkinsons and Dementia (studies have been done) there's more older people starting to play...even at 70+ yrs old. ...suddenly a 'young mind' is an advantage that 'slows down ageing')

Also I find after Bobby was blended with me and left there is like a 'residual imprint' left with me...you know how like if you look at tv then close your eyes you can still see an image in your mind of what was on the screen? ...kind like that in a way..like before Bobby blended temporarily with me I'd had no memory of playing Zelda or enjoying watching sci-fi programs, but cos we watched some when Bobby was present, the memory that actually I enjoyed watching/playing that game has stayed in my memory even though they have now left the front!

I realise now the 'inner world' is different from each alters viewpoint as Bobby left me (as a leaving gift) some memories of the inside mostly from their perspective but also where Juno and I used to live (in there)! Could this ultimately turn out to be an advantage in ageing?...that we have 'others' within who can come forwards and share 'lost memories' with us, whereas a person without DID may have lost that memory for ever once its gone??? ..is that why my memory of my mum is so strong but my sibling barely remembers her? (though part of it would be that they were significantly younger when she passed and she'd been my mother and carer - due to my medical conditions and disabilities - for much longer).

The 'changelings' kept her memory alive for me in our secret inner world so for me..she never left (well her spirit didn't, it's in Juno!) I didn't share the same bond with my father though..though the youngest remember him fondly the teens and older ones don't ..I wont go into detail but is now widely recognised as 'gaslighting' (though I didn't know at the time) and was a common event and sibling can be the same even though they now understand the autism better than they did.

Anyway I'm going off-topic.. though its kinda related as I really believe that my 'inner world' is whats kept my mind young and kept that connection so strong. I mean its now over 30 years ago since my mums physical body died in RL and she would have been in her 70's if she were still alive now, but in my inner world she's my twin and we're both still 15 at heart - though we can both age-slide (the physical body is in its 50's) but I also remember her as my mother at the age she was when she died, though Juno no longer presents that way as we (the body) are now older than the age she reached, so it feels odd referring to her as 'mummy' because Juno's spirit cannot age-slide beyond the age she died at in that role.


I believe the age (15) is relevant because it's before my body first experienced hearing loss and its before she got cancer the first time, it's also the age she was in the old photo I found where we really looked like identical twins (putting a photo of me made black and white side by side with it).
Its also an age before the friendship with Thea/Maddie's RL friend existed (which now seems to have ended) and even before we had met 'Jodie' in real life. (who our 'Jody' is/was an introject of - we haven't found her since the stroke) but our relationship with sibling has improved through the pandemic and after the stroke event.


I see him as my brother, but Juno see's him as 'her son from her past life' and even though she knows that technically means I'm her daughter too, she chose to stay in spirit form in my body as my twin. Her belief is that this way when this body dies our spirits can join as one before the bodies passing to be reborn as either identical or conjoined twins (rather than mother and daughter if she had gone into the next life first, years before me) again in real life the next time around!...whether all the other alters will be present the next time around I don't know! (SG claims she knows us from a past life and we were conjoined twins before which is why our bond is so strong in this life and why 'Juno' chose to stay as a spirit after her RL body passed in the hope we can be RL twins again in the next life).

Obviously in RL we keep these thoughts to ourself! my bro is much my like our father in terms of lack of belief in anything such as spirits, 'Rainbow Bridge' etc and we don't wish to have belief's we consider sacred to be continually ridiculed by him. He probably wouldn't believe in DID if we did try to explain it to him and just call us 'mental'! ..so to protect us all we keep them a secret and live 'alone'.

OK that's it for now this is turning into some kind of thesis! ...and RL doggy is nagging us to go out!

Yuna

I personally don't even know what "age" means anymore appart from a number on my administration papers

I have a feeling that the "subjective age" of the dissociative parts is kinda tied to the "average psychological and emotional maturity level" of said part. As an example, I have a lot of parts identifying as being older than the body, due to the heavyness of heart that the trauma gives. I also have others who identify as younger than the body because their emotional maturity was "frozen in time" due to trauma.

I'm not sure what the interactions are between DID and the ageing process of the body, though. But I know that autistic people (among other brain specificities) tend to have a mentality percieved as younger by most people. Because we tend to keep a freshness and a joy of living as well as a spontaneity in our behavior and thought patterns.

Which is kinda ironic knowing that autistic children are often seen as "more mature than their age" because of the serious side of autism (being able to focus on very specific serious subject, as an example).

Whatever is "acting your own age" anyway? Just be happy

ArbreMonde wrote:I personally don't even know what "age" means anymore appart from a number on my administration papers

I have a feeling that the "subjective age" of the dissociative parts is kinda tied to the "average psychological and emotional maturity level" of said part. As an example, I have a lot of parts identifying as being older than the body, due to the heavyness of heart that the trauma gives. I also have others who identify as younger than the body because their emotional maturity was "frozen in time" due to trauma.

I'm not sure what the interactions are between DID and the ageing process of the body, though. But I know that autistic people (among other brain specificities) tend to have a mentality percieved as younger by most people. Because we tend to keep a freshness and a joy of living as well as a spontaneity in our behavior and thought patterns.

Which is kinda ironic knowing that autistic children are often seen as "more mature than their age" because of the serious side of autism (being able to focus on very specific serious subject, as an example).

Whatever is "acting your own age" anyway? Just be happy

I think it comes from the strictness in childhood and been constantly told to copy the others around me and 'act normal'. I know we're in a different era where people are encouraged to 'be themselves' these days but sometimes it so ingrained in us that we must not let people see there's 'something wrong' with us that we fear drawing attention to ourselves in case people start watching us all the time and decide we need 'locking up'!

I know when I had the adult assessment of autism (during the breakdown) I was assessed as having 'learning disabilities' in some areas despite the fact I'd just completed a degree. This was before the age of google and I didn't pay much attention to politics and current affairs etc so I think my general knowledge on the world about me scored very low. I don't think I'd score as low in that area now with internet (which I didn't have access to then) and social media wasn't yet invented at the time.

With Thea people were fascinated by the sign language as it was rare to see back then, Maddie re-directed people's attention with the wheelchair and people 'didn't like to ask' or it was considered rude.

These days people are much more forward they believe they 'have a 'right to know' what's wrong with other people living in their community, why you don't go out,why you stopped going on social media, (apparently its' now 'not normal 'to not be on it at all!) why friends haven't started re-visiting now 'covid is over' (in their minds) and I find it so intrusive! ,,,and feeling more and more paranoid and secretive that we have to behave a certain way or have the right 'age-appropriate excuses' in order to be left alone. ....although I'm still working off what was age-appropriate in the 80's as I've no idea what is age-appropriate these days! ...seems they've not only moved the goalposts, they've run off with them!

YunaTheSummoner wrote:seems they've not only moved the goalposts, they've run off with them!

I love your metaphor!

When people are too inquisitive about my disabilities I lie depending on the context (when I use my disability card to cut through a queue I say I am epileptic, as an example) or I be a bit rude and say something like "I did not know you were part of my medical team. Give me your email and I'll forward you my full health record."

When people ask me "Why do you.... ?" I answer "Because." When they ask "Why don't you... ?" I answer "I don't care." And so on. People are rude by asking me unpleasant questions? I am rude by answering them unpleasantly. Or sometimes I return the question back to them. "Why do you do this?" becomes "Why dont YOU do this?" And so on.

I'm tired of being the kind little disabled pushover. I like to explain disability to open-minded people, but judging people get bitten (metaphorically).