Hi again
I had a weekend inside to spend some time with others I hadn't met yet. I see Kit has been busy!
Anyway after a brief 'changeover meeting' Kit's gone back inside, she told me to do more research on SM and try and find other single people's experience of it too. She said it might help to find people who'd had it as a child but who can speak now in most situations.
Kit says she has relaised now why Maddie was like she was and her ability/disability at such a different level to the insiders.
The stroke, pandemic and peri menopause all hitting us together has given us 'a viable reason' for coming out of it a completely different person! (from the perspective of outsiders seeing us as 'one person') so we must use this to our advantage and really take time to work out who we want to be 'seen as' moving forwards.
How much do we want people to expect from us? (eg How much 'social pressure' can we safely take without it triggering another breakdown)
Who wants to be up front most and what kind of life do they want?
Will others be able to cope with that kind of life if they found themself up front suddenly? ..or are they going to pre-agree to only come out at specific times if whoever remain permanent host promises to always make time for them to safely visit us (but remain a secret to the outside world).
Many would rather remain inside than integrate with the front on a permenant basis as they feel they have their own lives on the inside as the inner world is so developed. We believe Bobby actually has Hyperphantasia ...so everyone who is a direct split from Bobby has the ability to see the inner world too. and of course all changelings/Tulpa's can automatically see/live in it as they were 'created' there by Bobby!
Myself, LS, Bobby and Kit have it (internal visions) the strongest... Jay & Yuna could imagine it once taken there but seemed to need to be blended with one of us to 'visit it'. (Once inside they need an 'escort' to bring them back out to the front too.... we are not sure why??) Jay is integrated within me now anyway (they chose that) sto give me access to some of 'later life memories' so it's no longer an issue for them. Yuna has chosen to remain inside and live on the inner farm' with everyone.
Although I was originally created by Bobby, LS & Phoenix blending (as 10yr olds) I still see us as 4 seperate individuals. I have some of their traits ,yes I can see that but I also hope to develop my own hosting style and personality too. Bobby feels happier they feel 'more represented' in the outside world without them actually having to deal with it all 24/7!
Now I have aged up to deal with life Bobby has returned to their previous 'inner world body' of a 10yr old gender netural child with pointy ears!

..however they take with them all the knowledge they acquired out here so aren't exactly the same child they were and now they speak and interact with all the other alters choosing to live inside!
Kit will still remain seperate as a protector/gatekeeper/helper ...etc They have a fragment of Kate's experience and memories as a caretaker/parent, so have a 'softer edge to them' but still see themself as 'Kit' rather than Kitty! She told me to remove her name (from signature) and says I'm in charge of 'digital communication' and 'social stuff' now
They not abandoned me out here though!.... we can all communicate telepathically to discuss stuff that crops up day to day and they'll still be 'visiting'.
ok update over..have to tidy up now and sort out what needs doing this week, we've promised LS some quality time out on the switch when her Princess Peach game comes at end of the week!
Lily