A New Start (the way forwards)

Just dropping by briefly while waiting for a delivery cos we're busy today!

So this is the second day we are functioning together as 'Yuna-Lee'

Yesterday we got the bathroom tidy and ordered storage solutions (coming today) and today we are sorting the front room. Just waiting for the storage stuff to turn up because one of them is for our art stuff in here to keep the' art desk' tidy. We can manage to put that together its just pre-made drawers to fit in a wireframe.

Ones for the kitchen are the plastic drawers with clip together frame..we're working on the kitchen tomorrow and bro is going to help us assemble the bathroom ones and fit the new toilet seat (as ours broke).later..probably at weekend when he's free.

It is giving us more energy from the strength of 5 parts and we get up and get on with things in the mornings then rest in the afternoons. We seperate on resting though for now as we like different things so if there's a star trek movie on we can watch while resting out back 'Lee' will stay out to watch it. and 'Yuna-me' goes back inside to rest. or vice versa.

Yuna-Me likes Animal crossing, cutsey cosy games and yoga ones on the Wii, colouring in ..if we have any energy left to do it! (Little Susie likes a lot of these things too although she prefers the balance games rather than the yoga cos they're 'more fun')

Lee-me likes Star Trek, Zelda, taking photo's of the local wildlife and sketching and water colour of them.

But we are now working together as a team for part of each day to share the household stuff - no idea how long this will last! - may only last until we've finished sorting the house and doing preps for this winter .

It may not end in a complete fusion 'Lee' may return inside and seperate after the job is done and we fall back into the 'old way of being' again

Anyway ...text has come to say delivery driver is coming to us next so best get back to work!!

We have determined there are 3 personality/alter 'types' - (I don't mean just 3 alters) in our system.

P1 - the alters are from the period birth up to when my mum died. this would include ..Bobby, Little Susie, Teen S, Sioux (there may have been some other temporary ones that only came out once or twice or for a short period then never returned - probably teen selves trying to discover/experiment with who they were?)

P2 - alters who evolved as full-time hosts after shut down from mums death - Thea and Maddie were 'social mask hosts' took care of busiest part of life only dealt with work, college classes then have disappeared. 'Kit' actually came out between them in the time of being 'in the unit' - may have initially been 'Bobby' at the time of breakdown, but feeling 'too exposed' in there surrounded by other autistic people and staff..'Kit' evolved, split off and became a full separate alter who later returned when Maddie started to struggle with life.

P3 - Non-human alters - 'The changeling' (tribe) ...in early childhood they mostly took on form of animals, then mythical creatures, TV/film characters, favourite 'pop stars' (of the era) for some older teens, & finally 'Spirit walk-ins/Tulpa form' for older adults. We don't know how many there are in total and whether the one's supporting us now as 'spirits' are the same ones that were animals when we were a young child, or whether they are a different one.


They are usually 'locked into their belief' so Juno remembers only 'being Juno' -



***TW mentions death, NDE, Re-incarnation*****


...from Juno's viewpoint she was my mother in her past life, she reincarnated and moved on originally (reborn into the next life) then after a car crash as a young teen that body died...whilst in hospital (as a spirit separated from her physical body) she saw me being admitted..remembered I had been her daughter in her past life (apparently you can only remember your past life after you've passed from your current life) and chose instead of moving on again.. to join me..as my spirit returned to its body (during the NDE) she blended with me to return inside my body with me.

She believes now that when this body does die our spirits will go together to be reborn as twins, rather than her going on ahead again and us possibly been born as mother and daughter again.

'Juno' believes we were twins in a past life (possibly conjoined ones - I've always felt very drawn to programs about twins, particularly conjoined twins) and I subconsciously sensed that from younger. I do remember having an imaginary twin years ago as teen before I understood what DID was! (I believe we called ourselves 'Sal & Sue')

The difference being that back then a changeling just pretended to be 'my imaginary twin'.... Now a changeling is 'the host body' for my mum's actual re-incarnated spirit so she can have a physical form in the 'inner world' To confuse things further there is a changeling presenting in the form of my mum as an adult (as I remembered her in childhood) currently on the inside with Little Susie. Others also 'play' other family members for her (including past family dogs) as and when needed. Little Susie understands that is 'Inside mummy' that was created in memory of the real mummy, but still finds it comforting. She see's it as no different to having her and mummy on Animal Crossing ..she can visit us and play in 'outside world' on the switch game or visit/live in her own virtual world inside in our 'holosuite' (everyone has their own program).

**TW over**

Yuna here ...so LS asked me..'why can't I have an inside daddy on my farm too?'

I couldn't think of a reason why not! We trust our changelings not to become more than each alter can cope with (especially for the littles)

So first we made 'daddy' on Animal Crossing so LS could design him and pick some clothes for him and then some changelings took his form on the inside on her 'duck farm' (holosuite program). This seems to be very therapeutic for LS and we can we see her growing 'emotionally' and understanding more.

As the younger one's progress the older ones hosting reflect that progression on the outside.

We now realise we need LS and 'Bobby' to fuse first - the original 2 children in the body (where all other parts evolved from) ..we need to be blending from the furthest back FIRST .. right up to the outside hosts that's why our attempts at fusion with the fronting adults never work. ..we're attempting it the wrong way round!

Congratulations on all the progress and all the things you figure out!

Thanks.

With AC being so successful for LS but 'a bit young' for Bobby. Our next plan of action is to find a life sim specifically for 'Bobby' where they can develop their own personality (so not a pre-determined character such as Link from Zelda) and where they can practice and explore social interactions safely (with in game NPC's in games that include 'relationships').

Now Bobby is fussy about games in fact by choice they only exclusively play BOTW and Minecraft (other than when they've helped LS with her games). Great games but they can't be themselves in BOTW and Minecraft villager interactions are extremely limited to only trading with no 'relationship building dialogue'. ..so finding a life sim they will actually enjoy and regularly want to play as themself is going to be a challenge in itself!

They don't want one where the entire aim is to marry and have kids and where choosing not to will affect progression or whether you can get 100% in the game. They want a dog that follows you and you can pet and the choice to live with someone as friend or family member rather than a sexual relationship

In most I've found you have to 'marry' the character before you can live with them and are then in the same bed. Bobby is not comfortable with this, even though it is 'just a game'. It also has to be on Switch. (They are having to share at the minute as the old one is getting really hot after a short time and making a strange noise so we're frantically trying to transfer files to Susie's console to not lose progress on the exercise games for physio).

It would also be best if it wasn't 'real time' like AC as Bobby isn't guaranteed to come out daily to play.

For now the fusion of fronting adults is paused although we will blend temporarily if its needed for a couple of hours such as appointments etc. Home alone though it will often be either me Yuna or Kit. (the others tend to flit in and out depending on what we're doing and whether we have the time and energy to do what they want).

Assume any posts written here are written by me Yuna and if Kit (or any others) do/does answer any they will put their name or initial at the beginning or end of their post/replies.

I do not know a lot of games, but one that I enjoy is the visual novel / card battle and collection game, "Obey me!". (Summary of the story: your character is sent to the Devildom as an exchange student and you need to befriend demons and angels as well as solve mysteries, follow event stories or side-stories under the form of mini-stories, text messages, phone calls...) In the relationships with the characters you can choose to either romance or friendship for each interaction you have. The "adult" romance interactions happen off-scenario except for kisses, and the kisses happen with a black screen and some "muah" sound effect so it's pretty kid-friendly even when you try to get as adult as possible with the characters. The adult things are suggested but you can also understand them in a more kid-friendly way if you want to, the way it is worded. "You stay with me for the night" can be a sleepover, especially since the characters often have sleepovers in the side-stories. Also, with the child-like character, only friendship interactions are possible. The game has a wiki if you want to browse it to make sure it is a good fit. It's a game for the phone. Free to download and play, purchases possible in-game but you can progress pretty well without purchases.

I've heard of a Pokémon cooking-themed game too, don't know if this would be suitable. In the "mystery dungeon" Pokémon series you can also chat with the characters but I do not know if this would be enough of an interaction.

There are also libraries of visual novel games for the PC that you can find online, a lot of the games are free to download, tip if you like the game. You have all sorts of genres of games, from adult dating sim to detective stories and horror stories and a lot of different sorts really. Pay attention because some horror stories can have a kid-friendly first look (such as "Doki-doki litterature club", or "Cooking companions" so if a cutsey game is labelled as "horror", trust the label.) The "cute to gruesome" is a horror sub-genre, making the "horror" part even more gruesome in comparison of the cute beginning. But it can be confusing if you do not know it is a thing that exists and forget to read the labels and tags.

I hope the little knowledge I have of games will help you find something. I really don't game that much, I'm more of a "watching playthroughs on Youtube" kinda person.

ArbreMonde wrote:I do not know a lot of games, but one that I enjoy is the visual novel / card battle and collection game, "Obey me!". (Summary of the story: your character is sent to the Devildom as an exchange student and you need to befriend demons and angels as well as solve mysteries, follow event stories or side-stories under the form of mini-stories, text messages, phone calls...) In the relationships with the characters you can choose to either romance or friendship for each interaction you have. The "adult" romance interactions happen off-scenario except for kisses, and the kisses happen with a black screen and some "muah" sound effect so it's pretty kid-friendly even when you try to get as adult as possible with the characters. The adult things are suggested but you can also understand them in a more kid-friendly way if you want to, the way it is worded. "You stay with me for the night" can be a sleepover, especially since the characters often have sleepovers in the side-stories. Also, with the child-like character, only friendship interactions are possible. The game has a wiki if you want to browse it to make sure it is a good fit. It's a game for the phone. Free to download and play, purchases possible in-game but you can progress pretty well without purchases.

I've heard of a Pokémon cooking-themed game too, don't know if this would be suitable. In the "mystery dungeon" Pokémon series you can also chat with the characters but I do not know if this would be enough of an interaction.

There are also libraries of visual novel games for the PC that you can find online, a lot of the games are free to download, tip if you like the game. You have all sorts of genres of games, from adult dating sim to detective stories and horror stories and a lot of different sorts really. Pay attention because some horror stories can have a kid-friendly first look (such as "Doki-doki litterature club", or "Cooking companions" so if a cutsey game is labelled as "horror", trust the label.) The "cute to gruesome" is a horror sub-genre, making the "horror" part even more gruesome in comparison of the cute beginning. But it can be confusing if you do not know it is a thing that exists and forget to read the labels and tags.

I hope the little knowledge I have of games will help you find something. I really don't game that much, I'm more of a "watching playthroughs on Youtube" kinda person.

Yuna here ... I don't know many of the modern games either, we don't have a Windows PC..only the iPad and the older Macbook..and the Switch of course! .. ..appreciate the warning for the cute/horror genre I had no idea that was even a thing!

Kit is the gamer. She has found one that looks perfect for Bobby! ..has a dog in it that follows you on your adventures, there's no marry option but you can just befriend and/or date residents if you want and you play an alchemist who has to go foraging for ingredients to cure the ailments of the villagers/townsfolk, so Bobby can interact first in a 'professional role' with each NPC before deciding which they want to build relationships with ...

only problems is..its not released until later in the year! ..and I really wanted to find one for now to encourage Bobby while they were enthused about the video game research project we are doing through the physio dept also.

Kit's gonna look for a cheap or free demo of a game that's similar on the e-shop as an 'Introduction/practice run' just so Bobby can learn the mechanics of these kind of games and we're encouraging LS to help B with the 'making friends with villagers' part in return for Bobby having helped her with her dungeon levels on Garden Paws and re-designing her island layout after she unlocked the terraforming on AC. ...also gives them a reason to work together and encourage blending


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[Kit] @ArbreMonde - remember you once mentioned 'Steven Universe' to me in a post? ...Did you know there's a game for it on the Switch e-shop?

Looks fairly new.. released 2021

https://www.nintendo.co.uk/Games/Ninten ... 21695.html

There's an older one too released 2018

https://www.nintendo.co.uk/Games/Ninten ... 65459.html

Don't know whether there's a PC version on Steam, you may already have them? - K

Oh I did not know there was a Steven Universe game! Thanks for telling me!

I'm not a big gamer like I said. I don't have a switch though I have a classical DS. I have a couple games on my Smartphone, and Steam on PC. Though I turn the PC games on for maybe 50 hours a year top. I'm more into visual novels.

Don't hesitate to see on Steam if they can advise games similar to the one that you found and is only teased so far. Maybe they'll give suitable suggestions!

I woke up alone except for Juno in the background whispering that she was still with me and asking me if we're going to get up today because the dog hasn't had a walk yet (its nearly lunch time here).

I am thinking of leaving this forum. I don't know if it's what's triggering the others to want to switch so often seeing that others do and that's seen as 'normal' in this community.

We never had this issue when the hosts up front had no awareness that DID even existed!

I don't want to make a 'rash decision' or cut others off permanently so for now we're just taking a break and see how it goes. Feeling very depressed and down today. Maybe some fresh air will help!

Yuna

Yuna,

There are days even now that I wake up alone with everyone asleep or off on their own. I know it is disconcerting and scary.

I wish I could give advice better, and so does Beth. We're still navigating this and yeah, it's tempting to want to go back to when we didn't remember or know we had DID, but we don't think it will help.

And I don't see any reason why you all can't talk to us here. I know that, as we become more comfortable, we'll all want to talk. Or at least some of us.

Please be well, and I hope things get better.

-Vi