A New Start (the way forwards)

Sometimes I feel like a radio thats not properly tuned in! .in that some days I feel like I know who I am and this is my life and the past was past me's ......then someone fiddles with controls and ...I'm the new alter thats just following internal programming to host until it's someone else's time...then bam...signal changes...oh ok we're back again! ..it's me....who is 'me' today?

I'm assuming it's the hormones spikes and it seems to correspond with when the body feels like its having a 'silent period'.... (get cravings and bloat but no actual period)..or whether we go for months without one at all!

Hopefully we'll come out of it with the right alter as permanent host...I'm wondering now if the one who happens to be at the front when we eventually get through the other side of this..will be the one that stays at the front for the rest of our lives?

Jay

It's quiet here (well other than the Tinnitus!) ... but the littles are behaving...we've found Bobby's ultimate high value item....they really really want BOTW2 of course but also there's rumours of a special limited edition Zelda console coming out.

Now we have the Switch OLED (which was a present so we didn't pay for that) which seems to have been taken over by LS with ACNH and Y&J playing SDV most recently (though they've now disappeared deep inside so no idea if they're planning to come back and finish the game or not). We all have to share one as the old (original) one has stopped working completely.

So we've told Bobby... look if you show us you're making a serious attempt to calm down, to learn to work as a system with us, not cause disruption to the front or in the outside world we will consider buying the SE Switch 2 (or whatever they're going to call it!) with the game.... but there can be Absolutely NO Disruption between now and the release date or the deal is OFF!

so...we'll have to see how that goes! ...They did blame the hormones for their 'outbursts' but we said ..if you feel triggered....go in the holodeck and fight some moblins instead of flying out in a fit of temper and causing disruption at the front! ...willing to give them the benefit of doubt that the emotions just overtook them and they couldn't think straight enough to think of that themselves in the moment...hopefully now we've suggested a distraction/alternate behaviour they will try their best to stick to this deal now.

I feel fortunate that although they can sometimes be highly disruptive it is not done with malice, they are the most autistic in the system, they are still a child alter and have been genuinely struggling with hormonal swings of the menopause transition ..(and it does go on for years!)

The adult, more able parts struggle with it sometimes so we can appreciate it must be a much more frustrating and intense experience for the youngest and less emotionally equipped parts.

But at least if EVERYONE within the system is trying their best things should get easier.

Jay

We have had some restless and emotional nights lately as I could feel much upset on the inside and sad memories. I think this has been triggered by us being so close to Mothers Day but also the step-mother is having to undergo surgery to test for cancer this week and gets the results next.

Yuna was saying 'but we have Juno', but some didn't believe her to be our mothers walk-in as she was only acting as teen twin to Yuna. They demanded the system prove she was 'real' (as in a real separate alter who could act of her own will and control the body).

This led Juno splitting from herself leaving her child part to return inside with Yuna and her part with adult memories to form 'Kathy' to give us extra strength at the front.....so today to prove she was a fully functioning alter the system woke her up first with control of the body, she made us a favourite casserole we had in childhood (its still in slow cooker..cooking) and posted on here to prove she can!

Now she's let me switch back in because the dog needs his walk and she's not so confident driving the scooter yet.

The switch was easier with no feelings of mild dizzyness just more like an instant switch that I remember from the old days, no headache. ...just split second covert switch..we're both in the front we can communicate with each other and we can blend to present as one when we're outside.

I'm not sure if this is because pathways have repaired themselves or because I have more 'me-part' fragments blended with me...but Little Susie also now wants to blend with me so she can be 'closer to mummy'. All the me-parts seem to feel happier though they don't all necessarily want to integrate.

Anyway...have to go post a letter and walk doggy now.

Jay

mothers day is hard for us too, but it sounds like you all did a good job caring for your parts.

spinningtops wrote:mothers day is hard for us too, but it sounds like you all did a good job caring for your parts.

Thanks..I got a bit confused though I thought it was this sunday (tomorrow) for our country but it's next sunday!

Anyway we are glad to have Kathy, she tried to post and join in but I think this site must be going the same way as other DID forums and unless the alter who created the account posts they get ignored.

I guess that counts me out too as KIt was first to join then Yuna created one cos we'd had a stroke and forgot we'd already joined as Kit has been unable to get to the front. I think was originally Yuna's account but we wanted a name that reflected the system once everyone was able to get to the front and switch again.

After all the work we put into making sure we had reached everyone and everyone who wanted to could reach the front to talk it seems now the boards are being changed so only one can post. Seems like another area NT's are taking over...seems a bit oppressive after we managed to survive with the system intact despite years of therapy to 'be normal'

Jay

I don't think it's going like the other forums you saw. I just haven't been very vocal or active lately due to a variety of issues, and not all of us are very willing to post. Lilith has kind of pulled back from talking to anyone other than our little circle of friends and Pippa's just been busy with everything else. The reality is just that we are busy. We did read Kathy's message, but didn't know what to say.

It's been a rough few weeks, that's all, and some days I've sat here without any words coming out when I've wanted to say something because I feel as if anything I say will be wrong or scripted.

Vi

I'm not a mod, but there haven't been any changes to this forum. Any alter can post. It's one of the things we really appreciate about it. We love that there are threads for teenagers and littles and protectors. We haven't been posting as much because some of the people we related to the most don't post anymore or only post rarely.

Hi Jay and The TriForce ,

TheGangsAllHere is correct , anyone in your system is welcome to post and also has the option to use a font color of their choosing if they wish to express their individuality .

The forum policy is one account per member ( i.e. physical body ) . Anyone in your system can post to another member's thread , post to The TriForce threads or start a topic of their own using their name , for example : Kathy's Thoughts or Kit's Journal . The topic will just be under TheTriForce account .

It's not possible for us to allow alters to make their own accounts . In the past , there have been a few incidences of possible breaches of anonymity by Littles ( inadvertently ) or Maladapted Protectors ( deliberately ) and having all posts under one account lets us know who we need to address any issues with .

If you have any questions , you can contact any of the Admins . We're happy to help !

NewSunRising wrote:Hi Jay and The TriForce ,

TheGangsAllHere is correct , anyone in your system is welcome to post and also has the option to use a font color of their choosing if they wish to express their individuality .

The forum policy is one account per member ( i.e. physical body ) . Anyone in your system can post to another member's thread , post to The TriForce threads or start a topic of their own using their name , for example : Kathy's Thoughts or Kit's Journal . The topic will just be under TheTriForce account .

It's not possible for us to allow alters to make their own accounts . In the past , there have been a few incidences of possible breaches of anonymity by Littles ( inadvertently ) or Maladapted Protectors ( deliberately ) and having all posts under one account lets us know who we need to address any issues with .

If you have any questions , you can contact any of the Admins . We're happy to help !

Hi yeah, thanks. we don't usually bother with the colours except Little Susie(LS) likes pink ...though she told me she couldn't get the pink to work when she wanted to post about snow day, by the time I tried from laptop to edit it the option (to edit) had gone off.

I realise we can only have one account for everyone in the one body (system) but the other boards were definitely saying they wanted only the account holder to post and described letting alters talk as 'role play'. It felt quite insulting actually! They seemed to be suggesting all DID forums would be going in this direction.

I get a feeling like someone got ahold of the forums who doesn't know what DID is. I mean, if it was roleplay, we'd be able to stop. When Pippa, Lilith or any of the others come out it takes a lot of effort to switch out unless there's an emergency, and both cost the body in terms of energy and even pain. DID is not roleplay. I grant that most of our system may seem similar in terms of various patterns when not speaking, the reality is that we are different enough verbally that my friends know who is fronting. That said, I've run into a few people who claim to be systems who I'm not sure if they are or not because they act more like they are roleplaying with alters talking in chat back and forth...but I also grant that some systems can be like that.

Take care,
Vi