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Re: Hello

Postby TheGangsAllHere » Mon Oct 04, 2021 4:16 pm

Hi Gary,

Can you read on the forum at other times, or only every two weeks?

There is a thread called "For the Protectors" that might be helpful for you to read. Most systems have alters who are quick to break attachments if anything reminds them of having been hurt in the past. Maybe your protectors would be interested to read what they've written. You can find it by searching at the top of the first page of the DID forum.

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Re: Hello

Postby ArbreMonde » Thu Oct 07, 2021 10:44 pm

Gary128 wrote:Its hard to get that across to my alters as im nowhere near co-conscious yet. I find dealing with the humiliating aspect of what i went through so hard. I feel \i have no control of this so i end up being like a hermit stuck in my flat. Is this something others experience?


Communication can be difficult at times. There is something called "phobia of inner experiences" and "phobia of the trauma" that keep the dissociative walls between alters when you are not ready yet to share on the difficult emotions kept by the trauma holders. It's a completely logical and normal stuff to happen when you encountered trauma, it's you brain trying to keep you safe from the pain. There are specific therapy works aimed at learning to no longer fear the difficult things, and others aimed at learning to share these difficult things so you can all comfort each-others and heal from the pain.

One step at a time, do not hesitate to see with your therapist if you are ready for this kind of work or if you need more time working on other stuff first.

Engaging into healthy relationships (friendships, family interactions, work interactions...) can be difficult when you have deep emotional wounds. I think the part of therapy about that is "attachment therapy" or something? Again, don't hesitate to see with your therapist what specific things you can learn to do, baby step by baby step, regarding forming secure attachment with people. It ain't easy but if you go at it baby step by baby step, you can get better following your own pace. And it's pretty cool.

Good luck!
__
Zamiel.
Key: ♂ he/him | ♀ she/her | ɸ they/them

Social: Zamiel ɸ (complex fusion) or Daniel ♂ɸ (Zamiel + David)
Self-care: David ♂
Managers: The Mirror ♂ (inner self-helper) - Isaïa ♂ ("trauma-sitter") - Theia ♀ (gatekeeper)
Trauma holders: Pride|Wrath ♂ - Lust ♀ - Reyna ♀ - Ulysses ɸ

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