How to work together again?

I'm making a new post because we have a mean one lately who doesn't want us even logging on here. Mean one is in our inner world. Plus this mean one was never mentioned as far as I'm aware of. I managed to sneak out and post this. Our host is very busy trying to deal with troublemakers on and off for a really long time now. I'm not too good with telling how much time passed since I'm usually inside. Our protectors have been holding numerous meetings.

Anyway a personal issue came up and due to that we had to cancel some of our upcoming appointments with our T. We were able to reschedule so we're not too worried about that. It is hard to figure out some things without talking to them. Although our T did say we could use email. We may or may not do that. It depends. The mean one might not allow it. Although I did sneak out.

I wanted to ask if anyone had any ideas on how to get us to work together again. Like any ideas on how we can spend time together. Any fun polls for us to do together? I feel maybe that would help but I have no idea what to ask. I feel due to the chaos we need to take baby steps all over again to feel comfortable hanging out with each other again. 99% of us have been isolating from each other. We really need to start hanging out with each other again. That used to make us happy and help overcome the sadness.

Any ideas? Thanks in advance! I may or may not be able to reply right away due to the mean one. So thanks again in advance. I would love to sign my name but I can't due to the fact that the mean one might see it.

We struggle to work together too sometimes but usually some kind of emergency helps or a goal the body needs?? eg when we needed to be more healthy in eating and managing more exercise. Everyone found something they were willing to do to contribute when they were out eg meal plans/batch cooking one person cooked others agreed to follow menu, some agreed to try to do some yoga or go on the exercise bike for 30 mins when out, even the 'littles' playing more active video games some of the time, so between us we managed to achieve the weight loss and healthy eating goal.

Is there a goal you can set for the body that everyone can take part in and 'do their bit' when they're out? Maybe learning a new skill would help towards goals other alters have? I don't know ..say maybe if one would really love to travel more and another is more academic they might want to learn the language of that country, other more practical ones might want to help by working out where you can make savings to afford that goal etc? (home cooking instead of take away/take outs...meaning one who might enjoy cooking could cook more and enjoy finding new recipes you all enjoy)...maybe one is able to find ways to make more money if you have a hobby where you can sell things or services (eg if you're good at art...pet portraits are always popular) ..or a local job comes up someone would really like to do or try......everything is leading towards saving money to go towards your trip??? ...something like that?

Jody

When we (used to) work against each-others, it's often because we are conflicted about what to do to protect ourselves.

Such as e.g. running away from discussion boards where "bad things happen" (does not matter if it is objectively bad or just a subjective perception).

Learning about better adapted protection methods helped us a lot.

So maybe the "mean one" wants to protect the system from whatever "bad things" could happen if you keep showing up here and posting here? Or if they feel like they have to be mean towards the rest of the system just for the sake of being mean... there has to be a reason. Someone from outside of the system in the past might have encouraged this kind of behavior, and "mean one" is trapped in the repetition of the self-harm.

They are only the first hypothesis coming to me right now but the reason can be different.

So, I agree with Jody@KitMcDaydream in finding a goal shared by the whole system, and I suggest this goal to be "learning to protect oneself in such a way that inner conflicts and inner persecution is no longer needed for protection".

Good luck!
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Zami.

Thank you all for your replies! They are greatly appreciated!