Intro for Us

Hi, Harmonic Resonance here. Host speaking. Not officially diagnosed with DID but I have parts. I took the MID and the first time it said unspecified dissociative disorder. The second time said something like my numbers are in the low range for DID. I have no idea how accurately I am answering some of those questions!

i had some awareness of parts back in 2013, then forgot about it until maybe 2018-2019. Then I sort of forgot again. Then I realized it again and worked to find a therapist with training in dissociative disorders. I wanted to hurry up and start therapy before I forgot again. Therapy has been helping but it usually gives me about 3 days after of feeling absolutely terrible, half me half someone else, depersonalized, etc.

I have thoughts that don't feel like me thinking them, sudden bursts of emotions and impulses that go away just as easily. My parts are also very good at taking away a strong emotion I don't want to feel.

My parts are happy that I am posting here. When they are happy with me they project this loving coherent harmonious energy. Hence my forum name, harmonic resonance. When there is internal discord or someone wants something, I feel internally jagged, parts of me feel like they are straining to break out while others feel heavy and others feel lost etc.

I work two jobs and I'm a parent to a small child. You will probably hear me complain about my relationship from time to time. Our communication is not great. I have ADHD and so does my partner.

Side note for mods:
I find "call outs" and moderator actions very triggering so please moderators contact me via pm if I break a rule and if possible give me a chance before you just ban me. That authority behavior can be rough.

Thank you for making a safe space.

Welcome to the forums.

What you describe about your inner experiences is consistent with having dissociative parts. Where on the dissociative spectrum, is another question, best answered by a specialist in the field.

I hope that you will find support and help on this forum.
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David.

Thank you David. My T has so far dodged the question of diagnosis. She says she doesn't work from the medical model. I did also ask if I have a dissociative disorder to please not put it on my health insurance but to tell me if she thinks I do.

Next time we meet we are supposed to do the Frazier Dissociative Table exercise which is validating for me. I am not like a lot of others with dissociative issues bc I am not great at imagining things but hopefully it will still work for us.

Harmonic Resonance

Hi, HarmonicResonance.

A lot of what you describe is very relatable. I am also working on figuring out from a psych exactly what is causing the symptoms I'm experiencing.

A lot of the dissociative questionnaires are confusing to me and hard to know if I'm answering right as well. A lot of weirdly specific/vague questions, and I'm never sure what the rating systems mean.

Hi HarmonicResonance, and welcome to the forum!

We've found it to be very supportive and helpful.

--the Gang