Extreme hyper awareness over body image

Hi

Susan here. I am thrilled with our new hair colour and we have lost 7lbs (of water but still the tummy is flatter so I'm happy!) also lost some inches from round the waist from the bloat tablets.

We (me and 'M') have come out to do some Yoga on Wii Fit

I'm feeling happier about the name issue too after it was pointed out to me that the name family call me can be made from mine and M's (real name) so I feel I can accept it as a 'nickname' for us when we're blended...and it's better than Suki! (no offence intended if anyone is called Suki! ) but I can't say it on here as its part of the real legal name.

what else was I going to say??....

oh the hormone stuff arrived ...so hoping that will also help with the many menopausal symptoms,not sure how long they'll take to work but hopefully in about 2-4 weeks there should be some kind of improvement? ...(providing the monthlies haven't returned by then!).

Anyway that's all I think.

Susan

**Trigger warning: Body image, weight talk, mention of eating disorders and similar topics**

i'm sorry to hear you're going through this. i may be 18 years old and i don't understand a lot of the stresses that might come with getting older, but i don't think there's anything wrong with being older, looking older, being overweight, having "bad" teeth, having grey hairs. it's a part of life, and it's not ugly and it doesn't make someone lesser for looking this way.

one thing i've managed to try and start teaching myself when it comes to having body image issues, is that there is nothing inherently ugly about any human body. the human body gets you by, it's what you live in and it's not there to look "young and beautiful" by other people's frankly bullsh*t standards. there is nothing inherently wrong or ugly about anyone's body or what they choose to do with their body, so long as it's not hurting anyone else or otherwise doesn't have malicious intent. i just remind myself that the world has become too much of a mess for me to care about conventional beauty standards and what other people think of me.

i'll admit, it's something i'm still working on myself, since i struggle with accepting my crooked teeth, especially since i have a hard time keeping up with oral hygiene, my large forehead and my weight, which is well within the healthy range for my height, but that doesn't stop me from hating my stomach, which has a slight pudge to it that bothers me.

don't get me wrong, this is not me saying that you shouldn't do the things you want to do, such as eating healthy and trying to lose weight if you want to, because that is all healthy and good for you. i just think it's important to remember and remind some parts that no body is inherently ugly and no body inherently deserves to be punished for traits and other things that we can't control about ourselves and how we get older, like getting grey hairs or having stained teeth. if your hair flows and your teeth help you chew and your body still gets you through the day, in the end i would call that a win.

at the end of the day, it's good to do things you want to do, such as coloring your hair and it's good to practice healthy eating habits and taking care of yourself. but it's also important to remember to respect your body for what it is and to not hate natural processes like getting older, because getting older doesn't make someone ugly, unlovable or less worthy of love or happiness

also, having come from a vegetarian background, beans and tofu are excellent ways to get protein into your body, and you can do a lot with them too, (a personal favorite is making tacos with crumbled up tofu as the "meat", flavored with taco seasoning, and black beans, with lettuce, tomato, onion, spanish rice, etc). some vegetarian meat substitute products are also worth a shot for getting protein--but some flavors and textures are very bad, so it's trial and error with vegetarian meat substitute products--and eggs too, if you choose to still eat them. it might be worth it to try some of the flavored protein shakes if you like, i think they're pretty good, but sometimes the textures can be grainy. spinach is a great source of iron, also, leafy greens in general are pretty good for keeping your iron up.

be careful and try not to get too sucked in and go down the rabbit hole of eating disorder habits, and remember to take care of your body.

grem (host)

gremandco wrote:**Trigger warning: Body image, weight talk, mention of eating disorders and similar topics**

i'm sorry to hear you're going through this. i may be 18 years old and i don't understand a lot of the stresses that might come with getting older, but i don't think there's anything wrong with being older, looking older, being overweight, having "bad" teeth, having grey hairs. it's a part of life, and it's not ugly and it doesn't make someone lesser for looking this way.

one thing i've managed to try and start teaching myself when it comes to having body image issues, is that there is nothing inherently ugly about any human body. the human body gets you by, it's what you live in and it's not there to look "young and beautiful" by other people's frankly bullsh*t standards. there is nothing inherently wrong or ugly about anyone's body or what they choose to do with their body, so long as it's not hurting anyone else or otherwise doesn't have malicious intent. i just remind myself that the world has become too much of a mess for me to care about conventional beauty standards and what other people think of me.

i'll admit, it's something i'm still working on myself, since i struggle with accepting my crooked teeth, especially since i have a hard time keeping up with oral hygiene, my large forehead and my weight, which is well within the healthy range for my height, but that doesn't stop me from hating my stomach, which has a slight pudge to it that bothers me.

don't get me wrong, this is not me saying that you shouldn't do the things you want to do, such as eating healthy and trying to lose weight if you want to, because that is all healthy and good for you. i just think it's important to remember and remind some parts that no body is inherently ugly and no body inherently deserves to be punished for traits and other things that we can't control about ourselves and how we get older, like getting grey hairs or having stained teeth. if your hair flows and your teeth help you chew and your body still gets you through the day, in the end i would call that a win.

at the end of the day, it's good to do things you want to do, such as coloring your hair and it's good to practice healthy eating habits and taking care of yourself. but it's also important to remember to respect your body for what it is and to not hate natural processes like getting older, because getting older doesn't make someone ugly, unlovable or less worthy of love or happiness

also, having come from a vegetarian background, beans and tofu are excellent ways to get protein into your body, and you can do a lot with them too, (a personal favorite is making tacos with crumbled up tofu as the "meat", flavored with taco seasoning, and black beans, with lettuce, tomato, onion, spanish rice, etc). some vegetarian meat substitute products are also worth a shot for getting protein--but some flavors and textures are very bad, so it's trial and error with vegetarian meat substitute products--and eggs too, if you choose to still eat them. it might be worth it to try some of the flavored protein shakes if you like, i think they're pretty good, but sometimes the textures can be grainy. spinach is a great source of iron, also, leafy greens in general are pretty good for keeping your iron up.

be careful and try not to get too sucked in and go down the rabbit hole of eating disorder habits, and remember to take care of your body.

grem (host)

Thank you Grem for your lovely reply! You're very wise for your age (much wiser than I was at that age!).

I know the body will age and go grey and there's not much I can do about it technically, but I have many young alters in my system. It was Jody (19) who coloured the hair but she was right, it did make me feel better.

I don't think we'll get down to 9st 3 again this time, we have more mobility issues, but there is arthritis in the knees and an hairline fracture in one achilles so I suspect if we could get a bit of weight off it would help with pain relief.

I think as long as my tummy looked slimmer from reducing the bloat and could get back in the size 16's I'd be happy! (even though they are '16 pear' - with extra material around the hips/tummy than a regular 16)...long gone are the days I could squeeze into size 10-12 of Levi's 501 jeans lol!

Jody has been finding photo's online of older women with beautiful silvery grey long hair, of course they 'look older' but at the same time look very good for their age in a dignified way. For now I'm happy with the coloured shampoo and conditioner!

I'm hoping a lot of 'the size of the stomach' (I kind of look more pregnant than overweight all over- arms and legs are slim due to muscle loss) is more to do with bloating/fibroids so we get good results from the enzymes, only been on them just over a week so see what happens there in a month or two.

I've never had an eating disorder issue before, as was physically active when young walked or cycled everywhere (locally) or took a train part of the journey so always managed to burn off what I ate . but immobility, depression and now the (peri)menopause seems to have taken its toll on the body!

I will try the taco recipe, have some of those pocket wrap things in (will have to add Taco's to the next shop) Jody does a nice veggie sausage and bean casserole in winter in the slow cooker and a chunky (vegetable) tomato soup with dumplings...veg is usually something like carrot, (or sweet potato) swede, leek,(or onion), broccoli or peas. sometimes we add veggie meatballs if we can find some decent ones - near the end of cooking so they don't just dissolve - we found the lentil ones do!

We've used the beanfeast mince to do homemade lasagne and shepherds pie (half white/half sweet potato topping or potato/swede/carrot topping) as well before. They were good!

Thanks

Susan

KitMcDaydream wrote:Thank you Grem for your lovely reply!

that's nice of you, but i wouldn't really consider myself wise. i still have a lot to learn.

it's good that you're working towards being healthy, and i'm sorry to hear about the arthritis and achilles issue. we also have chronic joint pain despite our age that may be due to rheumatoid arthritis developing in the toes and possibly hips as well, (we have severe autoimmune issues in the family, so it's not weird that i may be developing it at my age), so i can easily understand how that might make exercise harder. one of the things i like to do that's not too terribly difficult, is walk to the store every once in a while. it's maybe about a half a mile away, give or take, and there's a hill you have to walk up to get to the store, so it can be difficult, but i bring my cane with me and that helps. i go there and i buy myself some treats and extra food when my mother refuses to buy food for us at home, and i hide it in my room to save for later. just small stuff, like candy and other junk foods to keep me happy. it's a fun little trip i do every once in a while that keeps me active enough that i don't collapse under my own weight, so if you can, i recommend doing something like that, just going on walks for as long as you can and maybe treat yourself a little bit with something sweet or something you like at the end.

as for the food you've mentioned, that sounds very good. i've never had a shepherd's pie before, maybe we'll have to find a recipe and try some, because what you've described sounds really good. i also hope you enjoy the taco recipe. we like to make it with our own homemade guacamole, so if you can find a good guacamole recipe to have with some chips and your tacos, i think you'll be pretty set for a nice meal there, maybe with some refried beans and spanish rice. i've also been able to find some pretty good "meat" grounds, fake meat of course, that you can put into things like sauces and stuff, or even use in the tacos instead if you don't find yourself enjoying the tofu. they add a pretty good texture in my opinion, and they're also pretty good in tomato sauce, like for homemade lasagne and spaghetti, so if you can get your hands on some of that stuff, that might be good to try as well. my uncle also manages to find some pretty good vegetarian dumplings, if those are up your alley too, (he usually finds them at costco, if you have one of those where you live). he steams them and we dip them in some soy sauce and they're delicious.

grem (host)

Hi

Sorry you have RA so young. I guess I'm lucky mine's taken so long to get so bad given that my mother and her dad both had RA.

I did have a bad flare up in my 30's which was mistaken for an MS attack at the time. Unfortunately we had to switch because Kit was up front and hates any kind of physical contact so could not cope at all with hospital, tests, physio etc so 'Maddie' found herself up front and then 'got stuck' at that initial stage believing she couldn't go anywhere without a wheelchair for many years after. As she was also in denial over the autism so didn't tell anyone and we didn't understand about DID, this went on for years!

We also had undiagnosed conversion disorder (now called Functional Neurological Disorder). Kit did help us get partial mobility back so we could at least move around the house though still needed the mobility scooter for distance such as walking our very active dog 2hrs a day everyday.

We also live rurally so our nearest shop would take me well over 10-15 mins to even arrive at their door, even if they didn't have steps into it! We have to get everything delivered as no car and the journey into the nearest city via a taxi(we'd need a smaller electric wheelchair to manage it) would take most of the day and is quite expensive. about £25 each way for an 'adapted taxi' cos regular taxi's here won't take you if you need to take a wheelchair with you. Its cheaper to spend that on extra food and get free delivery and shop every 2-3 weeks.

Though with the pandemic it was harder to get (delivery) slots cos people started panic buying and some buying up slots then reselling them to elderly and disabled for about £30! (that's just to buy the 1 hour slot off them, not including any food) At one point I couldn't get a delivery slot for over 2 months to get more food in!

I'm currently on 2 crutches due to a blood clot damaging the veins in one leg too (same leg as fractured achilles!) to move from room to room which means everything like cooking has to be done from sitting, so I have my hands free and having painful knees at the same time isn't helping! It's painful to 'weight bear' and transfer between bed/chair/scooter etc.

The dog walking demands aren't as high right now as our dog injured his front elbow leaping down a slope after a ball! ..so he's currently on anti-inflammatories and a couple of rest days himself (even on lead to go into garden for loo breaks, as he constantly thinks you're letting him out to play ball otherwise and starts trying to run!) ..so currently completely housebound at least for this weekend!
Hopefully if dogs leg has improved by Monday the vet will give him the ok for a slow & short lead walk.

Exercise wise I'm very limited right now but managing to do kettlebells sitting on the sofa or on wheelchair and adapting as many of the exercises as I can and have electric therapy pedals I plug in, sit in front of in chair and it pedals my legs. If I strap wii remote to leg it makes the mii character jog so I can do the 30min 'free run' on the 'wii fit' that way!

Susan

KitMcDaydream wrote:I'm currently on 2 crutches due to a blood clot damaging the veins in one leg too (same leg as fractured achilles!) to move from room to room which means everything like cooking has to be done from sitting, so I have my hands free and having painful knees at the same time isn't helping! It's painful to 'weight bear' and transfer between bed/chair/scooter etc.

The dog walking demands aren't as high right now as our dog injured his front elbow leaping down a slope after a ball! ..so he's currently on anti-inflammatories and a couple of rest days himself (even on lead to go into garden for loo breaks, as he constantly thinks you're letting him out to play ball otherwise and starts trying to run!) ..so currently completely housebound at least for this weekend!
Hopefully if dogs leg has improved by Monday the vet will give him the ok for a slow & short lead walk.

Exercise wise I'm very limited right now but managing to do kettlebells sitting on the sofa or on wheelchair and adapting as many of the exercises as I can and have electric therapy pedals I plug in, sit in front of in chair and it pedals my legs. If I strap wii remote to leg it makes the mii character jog so I can do the 30min 'free run' on the 'wii fit' that way!

Susan

so sorry to hear about your health problems, and your poor dog too, i hope he gets better soon.

and yeah, the wii fit is pretty good for exercise that isn't too intensive a lot of the time, keeps it pretty smooth and simple, at least from what i remember. the wii and the wii fit are pretty old now, i used to use those when i was a kid. mario kart wii was my favorite game, lotta good memories there. there's another exercise game by nintendo for another gaming console called the switch, it's called 'ring fit adventure', but that one is pretty intense at times. it's what my cousin has been using for months and he's managed to build up quite a bit of muscle definition from it, which is pretty neat.

if you have the wii sports resort game, you could also get in some pretty good arm workout stuff, because that's a very arm-focused game. it's a lot of moving your arms and controller(s) around, like with the mock sword fight and the bicycle games. that's another one i played a lot of as a kid with my younger sister and friends when we brought them over, tons of fun, especially when competing against friends. unfortunately, the wii isn't as popular as it used to be, so it can be harder to get your hands on wii games if you don't already have them, especially since the wii shop closed and you can no longer buy games and download them directly to your wii :/ websites like ebay are very helpful in that regard though.

i hope you and your dog get better soon

grem (host)

Thanks .... yeah our last host only kept hold of the wii for the wii fit as she used it for physio too. The Neurophysio who came out to visit and show some exercises...alot of the exercises she showed are actually on wii fit.

We didn't like the controllers for more traditional style games though, but it is good for exercise games and we can play tennis sitting do most of the wii sports disc too and a few others.

We do have Ring Fit now but find you have to be very close to what they are doing on the screen which doesn't give it as much 'adaptability' as the wii fit which would register any small movement, allowing you to build up gradually to been able to do the 'proper exercise'...if you get what I mean?

Many, we could do with walking frame round the wii board or sat on rollator seat with ankle weights on (feet on balance board so it thought full weight was on!) for 'stepping games'. some worked sat on the board moving left to right as well as standing. It's just been a really good one for us physio wise so we kept it then when it broke upgraded to the WII U console with Wii fit U disc for the extra games and exercises, which Kit managed to find pre-owned off ebay.

Just doing my shopping list and came to check what I needed for the Taco's!! ..what do you mean by 'spanish rice'? ..like paella???

Thanks

Susan

KitMcDaydream wrote:We do have Ring Fit now but find you have to be very close to what they are doing on the screen which doesn't give it as much 'adaptability' as the wii fit which would register any small movement, allowing you to build up gradually to been able to do the 'proper exercise'...if you get what I mean?

oh yeah, i've seen a lot of that in how my cousin uses his ring fit game. he's able-bodied, so he can do a lot of that stuff a lot easier than i'd be able to, and that's where the wii is kind of better in that respect because you don't have to get it 100% accurate in order to get by. but i understand why they have it like that, they want you to do it properly so you don't hurt yourself, or so it exercises the right parts of the body. doesn't make it any less of an annoyance though, i'd imagine.

Just doing my shopping list and came to check what I needed for the Taco's!! ..what do you mean by 'spanish rice'? ..like paella???

Thanks

Susan

oh, we call it spanish rice in my house, but i think it's generally called mexican rice. it's not like paella, i had to google what that was, hah. no, it's just some simple rice, it's relatively simple to make, and i can link you a full recipe right here.in my house, we don't generally add the extra vegetables to the rice, we just make it plain, but you can do whatever you want here.

the seasonings we use in the tacos typically include things like taco seasoning, cumin, garlic and onion powder, maybe some chili powder or chipotle chili powder if you like spicy food at all. all you really need for the taco 'meat' itself is some tofu and black beans. you can crush up the tofu with a fork, and then you put it in a pan with some olive oil and the beans (draining the beans first of course), then you add your seasoning. the great thing about this filling is that it doesn't really need to cook to anything specific, it just has to get hot enough where you feel comfortable eating it, it's already safe to eat. then you can put them in some hard-shell tacos with some chopped tomato, avocado, onions, cheese, lettuce, etc. whatever you like on your tacos. you can put the rice inside the tacos or eat it separately, too.

if you want to make guacamole, you could very easily search up a good guacamole recipe on google as i don't really have one honestly. we haven't made any in a long time. you can also probably buy it pre-made at your grocery store. guacamole and chips are a great side dish for tacos, and a pretty good snack in general.

i hope you enjoy it, and if not, feel free to tweak it in any way you see fit

grem (host)

Thanks. I do something similar to that rice with Indian spices and make a vegetarian biriyani base then freeze some, then if Kit wants chicken later in the week she can defrost it and just add cooked chicken, sometimes Jody likes it with prawn instead. It's kind of like a 'dry curry' so there's not as many calories in as one where everything is cooked in a curry sauce like Korma etc.

I'm not keen on tofu so got a veggie version of 'shredded meat' that you just need to put in a pan with a bit of water..I'll add taco spices and peppers, then put it in taco's with salad. I'm not really that bothered about salsa and guacamole. I like a bit of sweet chilli sauce on it!

re ring fit there is an accessibility option to just be able to press a button to bypass any exercise you can't do or in adventure mode pressing a button for 'autorun' but that doesn't seem very accessible to me as it cuts me off from trying to do whatever I could manage or adapting it eg using pedals to make character run instead of jogging on the spot (I'm still getting some exercise that way!).

Fortunately I got that as an xmas present so didn't waste any money!! .. unlocked enough exercises to make a small routine in the free exercise mode that I can do.

We prefer the switch for big open world adventure games (docked) cos the graphics are better on a big TV! ..and keep wii fit for physio twice a week, with Kettlebells one day.(in a good week!)

Susan

KitMcDaydream wrote:I'm not keen on tofu so got a veggie version of 'shredded meat' that you just need to put in a pan with a bit of water..I'll add taco spices and peppers, then put it in taco's with salad. I'm not really that bothered about salsa and guacamole. I like a bit of sweet chilli sauce on it!

that sounds really good! i've never had sweet chili saus either, but that sounds delicious, i hope you enjoy it.

re ring fit there is an accessibility option to just be able to press a button to bypass any exercise you can't do or in adventure mode pressing a button for 'autorun' but that doesn't seem very accessible to me as it cuts me off from trying to do whatever I could manage or adapting it eg using pedals to make character run instead of jogging on the spot (I'm still getting some exercise that way!).

Fortunately I got that as an xmas present so didn't waste any money!! .. unlocked enough exercises to make a small routine in the free exercise mode that I can do.

We prefer the switch for big open world adventure games (docked) cos the graphics are better on a big TV! ..and keep wii fit for physio twice a week, with Kettlebells one day.(in a good week!)

Susan

yeah, i wish there was an easier way to do it as well, but it is what it is. im glad you can at least enjoy some nice open world games on the switch though, i've heard breath of the wild is really fun, though i haven't played it myself. if you like the legend of zelda series, they also did a remake of i think the first game for the switch in new graphics, and i played a bit of it at my uncle's house and really enjoyed it. they also added some more modern adaptations of older games like the street fighter series and i think sonic as well. i beat my uncle quite a few times as chun li on street fighter ii for the switch, really fun and enjoyable if you're into the nostalgia of older video games, which i am personally.

im glad youre able to get some exercise though, i hope it helps and you guys can get better soon

grem (host)