Kitty lover’s healing journey

Trigger warnings- csa, ritual abuse , pregnancy, death/use of uh potentially problematic language to describe abortion?

Hey it’s frisk and I’m angry. We thought it would be better for me to rant over here then bring this stuff to the thread with the other kids , many of whom are younger then me and may not be able to handle this stuff.Why is it that every time I wake up after a while , I have to find out about more horrible things that happened to us... I was just getting used to dealing with the fact that our dad is a bad person who hurt us , and now there’s a whole group of creeps like him? And one of them got us pregnant ? And then killed the baby? Why do people do things like this to kids.....?

Hi, Frisk!

I don't know how old you are inside, but I'm 11 or 12. We go though almost the same stuff it seems. I don't know how to comfort you ... but I do know from experience that there is no comfort in knowing why evil things happen. Not that we know "why" our father was evil like yours, but we see there would be no comfort in knowing the reason(s) behind it. The comfort, I think, at least for us, is that we can process the trauma now because it is over with. Does that make sense? Not that processing trauma is easy ... It's really hard. But it has helped us a lot. I hope your system can process all the trauma some day. I know it would take time, but it's possible.

Really hoping that helps.

- Grant

I’m 10 by the way-frisk

Trigger warning- mention of killing/violence

A letter to my hidden alters: I know you are there because sometimes I hear your voices in my head but it often feels like you can’t hear me . I’m hoping maybe writing to you will help me to reach you, to connect with you. We are safe now. We no longer live with our dad , and are not in regular contact with him anymore. He isn’t even trying to stay in touch with us anymore . We lock our door at night , to reassure the kids inside that our dad and the others can’t come in and hurt us or take us to what the kids call “the bad place” . I know one of you is worried about our abusers killing us because we are talking about our trauma. But we are trying our best to be careful about who we tell, and making sure it won’t get to them. I want us to all learn to work together , to live the best life we can and heal from our trauma. Even if sometimes you scare me , I’ll try to remember that you were created for a reason , that at some point our brain needed you to survive. I care about you .

Trigger warning-self harm

We relapsed and self harmed last night....we tend to not do it for months then have the urges creep back in on us until we can’t fight it anymore.... Father’s Day is tommorow and that hasn’t helped our mental state . We are afraid of our dad catching on to the fact that we remembered what he did (if he hasn’t already ....it’s comfusing) so we agreed to see him. We feel like maybe we were trained not to say no to him , and that’s why we have so much trouble with it

Sorry you have to see your abuser tomorrow. I know it's hard when I have to see my sister and keep the fact that she has DID and abused me a secret from her and my mother. Please don't hurt yourself again.

- Marcella

Sending a lot of moral support your way.

The mechanisms you use have, well, a use for you when you do it. Sometimes it is "anchoring oneself in the here and now". Sometimes it is "triggering the secretion of anti-pain chemicals in the brain". Sometimes it is another thing altogether.

I hope that you will find what use it has for you, so that you can replace it with a healthier coping mechanism.

In the meantime, take a good care of you. The forum will always be here whenever you need to vent about something.

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David.

Trigger warning -sex trafficking
Hey , I'm vanessa. I'm 20 but I was an adult before the body was. I'm a sexy anthropomorphic cat.I just came out for the first time in a long time.It was my job to be ,well Jason says the politically correct term is "sex worker". Our dad made us be one. Jason is struggling with the fact that our brain has revealed horrible thing after horrible thing without giving him enough of a break.

Hi, Vanessa.

Welcome back to the outside world and to the forum! I am a cat girl, too (but I'm not sexy at all, hardly feminine). Sorry about what your father did to you. I hope you can find solace in the fact that the abuse is over with in the here-and-now.

We struggle, too, with the trauma coming back too quickly. I don't know how it works for you, but I think we can relate.

- Ning

Hello, welcome back to the outside!

It's safe now, yay! Take your time adjusting. Take a deep breathe. You are safe now!

And, good luck dealing with the bad memories. Tons of moral support in your healing journey!

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Zami.