Journey Thread- Ponyta

Thank you Zami and littleDaria! I greatly appreciate your replies!

ArbreMonde wrote:Have you tried asking the red stone about it?
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Zami.

That's a good question. I didn't really ask it much, mainly because I felt crazy talking to a stone, BUT I'll try asking it tonight. Although, I did ask it if it knew where the light blue stone is.

It seems to know, but for some reason won't tell me exactly where it is. It gave me a hint. It said it landed somewhere on an island. The bad thing is, we have a ton of islands in our inner world. Good thing is, I got it to narrow down the area a lot. I'm going to try investigating more.

littleDaria wrote:maybe something about a growing strength or understanding, a growing knowledge maybe?

I also was thinking maybe something is going on in that sense, but I'm not 100% sure yet.

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One thing I want to note. Mark mentioned above about strange stones (well, he called them gemstones) showing up. I said I had no clue what he was talking about (since I only found two), and he acts like they were showing up all over the place. (He didn't mention that specifically in his entry, but I heard him talking in our inner world).

Well, the reason why I haven't seen any others, is because, apparently the protectors are looking for them. I saw one of the protectors (wearing some kind of high tech protective suit) today. He was picking up one of them. He put it in some kind of container (like it was a bio hazard or something). Now I don't know if those are the same kind of stones, like the ones I found, BUT that's kinda creepy. I did notice though that the stone was more of a green though. It looked like he had a lot of green ones in the container, so maybe they aren't similar.

I don't know, BUT If they are the same kind of stones, that's probably the reason why the red one is telling me to hurry (to find the light blue one). BUT if these ones that I have (the red and yellow) are supposedly "dangerous", why wouldn't that one guy, who noticed I had them, either tell the protectors, or take them from me? Unless of course they (the protectors) are only aware of the green ones. I have no clue.

I'm afraid to ask the protectors about it, because I feel they will take the stones from me. For some strange reason, I feel the need to protect them. It doesn't make any sense. I'm so confused. One of them (Protectors) does suspect something though. I know him, he has been watching me closely. So far he doesn't really seem concerned though. The big reason why (he is suspicious), is because he heard me talking out loud to "myself". Apparently no one can hear the stone's voice, except me. I feel that in itself means something. I'm not sure what.

that's really interesting! the stones almost sound like a classification system of some kind, maybe threat level? it makes sense they would do that, because colours hide the magnitude of the trauma.

Thank you for your reply, littleDaria!
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I asked the red stone (last night) a few questions. It shocked me with one of its replies. It said "You woke me up to ask me that?" Well it was pretty late at night, BUT I never even realized it would be sleeping (since it is a "rock"). I was confused by that, BUT I apologized to it (for waking it up).

Something about its replies seems a little suspicious though. It won't tell me exactly what it is. It also won't tell me exactly what'll happen. It just says that if I combine all three of them (the red, yellow, and light blue one) that it'll unlock its full power (it also refers to it as its true power). It told me yet again to hurry to find the light blue one. It asked me what I was waiting for.

It actually gave me kind of an attitude last night. Which is understandable if I truly did accidentally wake it up. If I knew it was sleeping, then I would've waited until today.

Its attitude, and statement about sleeping though, kinda makes me question if my one theory is in any way accurate. I kinda wonder now if it really is the stone that I'm talking to, or if something got trapped inside it. (Almost like a genie in a lamp) It could just be a stone though. I feel so confused. Plus now I'm having an episode of denial again. That is making me feel like I'm crazy.
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Not to mention that I saw some guy in the inner world last night. He scared me. I took my dragon form to protect myself. Then he just "Vanished". I have no clue where he went. That was REALLY, REALLY weird. I have no clue where he went. I actually was questioning if I actually did see him, or if I was just seeing things. (I happened to catch a glimpse of him today too though, so I must've saw him)

Plus I had a REALLY scary dream last night. Two guys were in it. I'm almost positive they were insiders that I never met yet. If that is the case, they did a wonderful job at terrorizing me last night. They were in two of my dreams last night, not just one. Plus they looked exactly the same both times.

I don't know what is going on. Everything is doing a good job at triggering my horrible feelings of denial again though. I feel as if I'm losing my mind. UGH!!!!

I am having a severe wave of denial right now. I feel crazy. I should not have written what I did. I feel like everyone probably now thinks too that I'm crazy. Especially with me thinking that maybe the stone isn't what I originally thought it was. That maybe something is trapped inside it.

UGH. Why do I keep getting waves of denial all of a sudden? I don't know why, but on top of that, I feel SEVERELY sad right now.

I don't know what is wrong. I do know one thing though. I'm scared to go to sleep tonight. The dream I had last night REALLY scared me. Plus I feel they (those two guys from that dream) are insiders that I didn't meet yet. Not to be mean, BUT that one guy's eyeliner was terrifying in itself (I have a strong feeling that was his intent). I have a REALLY strong feeling that they are planning on terrorizing me again tonight.

I don't know why I feel that way. BUT right now, just saying that is making me feel crazy. UGH!

You are NOT crazy. It's normal for your mind/ Innerworld to have its own inner logic. Talking stones is completely NOT crazy in an Innerworld since everything is possilble in an Innerworld.

These talking stones could be memories, dissociated parts... If they are painful memories it would make sense the Protectors try to gather them and contain them away. Maybe some of the memories think you are ready to get in touch with them, while the Protectors think others are too painful for you yet.

Only a hypothesis though.

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G/Hosties.

These talking stones could be memories, dissociated parts... If they are painful memories it would make sense the Protectors try to gather them and contain them away. Maybe some of the memories think you are ready to get in touch with them, while the Protectors think others are too painful for you yet.

we agree! we think finding out as much as you can about them is a good idea. they feel important

No, Emma. I did not think you were "crazy" when I read that first thing that you wrote. I found nothing wrong with it. Your inner world is unique. Just because other people don't talk about the things they encounter in their inner world as much as you do doesn't mean our inner worlds are any less complex or less symbolic.

I personally think the talking stones are alters that are simply taking the form of inanimate objects. It happens. (Example: I once heard of an alter that first took the form of a candy bar.) Maybe this alter wants some help to achieve a fusion with other alters. In my system, when we fuse, we gain more abilities of sorts, which could be seen as more "power". I don't know what it really means, of course. All anyone, including you and your alters, can do is speculate until or unless you find the light blue stone and find out what happens when the stones come together.

Remember, this is PsychForums. We don't come out here to judge, we come here to help and be helped by people who have similar experiences. You have DID. So do millions of other people. What you go through is unique to you, but not rare, just underdiagnosed, underreported and vastly misunderstood.

- Marcella

Thank you so much G/Hosties, littleDaria, and Marcella! We greatly appreciate your replies/kind words!

ArbreMonde wrote:These talking stones could be memories, dissociated parts... If they are painful memories it would make sense the Protectors try to gather them and contain them away. Maybe some of the memories think you are ready to get in touch with them, while the Protectors think others are too painful for you yet.

Only a hypothesis though.

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G/Hosties.

That actually sounds quite possible. The protectors seem to keep a lot of information from me (a lot of secrets). I'm not 100% sure why, but I found out that it usually is for the best.

Truly_happy wrote:I personally think the talking stones are alters that are simply taking the form of inanimate objects. It happens. (Example: I once heard of an alter that first took the form of a candy bar.) Maybe this alter wants some help to achieve a fusion with other alters. In my system, when we fuse, we gain more abilities of sorts, which could be seen as more "power". I don't know what it really means, of course. All anyone, including you and your alters, can do is speculate until or unless you find the light blue stone and find out what happens when the stones come together.

- Marcella

That makes sense. I'm not sure why I didn't look at it that way. We do have a talking book (well, more like a diary) in our inner world, BUT he is able to move around on his own (he can fly). He wanted me to read what was wrote down on his pages (in 2019), BUT I felt uncomfortable doing so. Mainly because, well, that just seemed really awkward to me. Plus since he is more like a diary, I felt like I would be invading the privacy, of whoever wrote that stuff down (I have a idea who did).

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I'm trying to find the light blue stone, BUT I can't seem to find it yet. If it is on that one island, then wow. I saw that island, and it is huge. It'll probably take a long time to find, UNLESS either it calls me, or the red stone tells me where it is, or I somehow manage to pick the right spot to search.

The red stone did tell me it was near that island, BUT I haven't found it yet.

I just came across three pictures of us (when we were younger). That creeped me out. Well, the last one especially. I feel that is a pic of the new one that I just discovered. The same creepy facial expression as he gave me. For some reason he tries to creep me out (with scary faces), etc.

UGH!!!!!! I just typed a whole post about a troublemaker, and what the Red stone told me. Apparently I took too long, and forgot to copy my entry before trying to post it. I lost the entire thing.

I do not feel like writing the entire thing again. I just sum it up quickly. Basically, I said:

There is a new troublemaker in our inner world. He carries what he calls the Darksaber. It looks almost identical to the Star Wars one. To avoid having to write a trigger warning, I'm not going to say what he did when I met him. I'll just say this guy seems to like causing inner world conflicts. Especially with me. I'm not sure where he came from, but he is super mad. He doesn't like me either. Plus he apparently can teleport. Black mist/smoke appears when he does. Plus the guy has black under (and it looks like it also is possibly around) his eyes. To add to it, he might also be a shapeshifter. I don't know. Either he has an identical twin (which also is a troublemaker), or he is good at dramatically changing his hairstyle, within an unbelievably short amount of time.

The red stone is telling me to hurry up, and find the light blue stone before I run into that guy again. It said that I now need its help big time. Ooookay. That's kinda creepy. Plus the red stone apparently was playing games with me before. It had me looking for the light blue stone in an area, where it apparently isn't even at. Unless of course it moved somehow. The red stone told me where it supposedly is (in a lot more detail today). I plan on going to look for it again tonight. Hopefully I can find it. The red stone is demanding that I hurry.