Journey Thread- Ponyta

It reminds me of something we read in "The Haunted Self" and also in "Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation" that talks about alter who want to get rid of other alters or sometimes of the body.

In the "Coping" one there are exercises to do to help with this kind if situation and a lot of other situations and we think it is very helpful. We learn a ton and we think when we are done reading the whole book we can start at the beginning again and do the exercises slowly one every week

Me hope it helps you too! (But the book is expensive :'( )

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Pride. (written by Wrath)

ArbreMonde wrote:It reminds me of something we read in "The Haunted Self" and also in "Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation" that talks about alter who want to get rid of other alters or sometimes of the body.

In the "Coping" one there are exercises to do to help with this kind if situation and a lot of other situations and we think it is very helpful. We learn a ton and we think when we are done reading the whole book we can start at the beginning again and do the exercises slowly one every week

Me hope it helps you too! (But the book is expensive :'( )

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Pride. (written by Wrath)

Thank you for the suggestion! We will look more into that. We were hoping to get a workbook sometime soon, but we weren't 100% sure which one would be best. Thanks again!

-R

I noticed some of our insiders wrote on here about our current problem. It keeps getting more and more confusing. So the bad troublemaker is somehow getting help from others to, I guess, help get rid of Emily, but he isn't asking them. He apparently has some kind of mind control power. He is similar in a bunch of ways to a ghost type Pokemon. He had someone helping him at first, then he left that person to get another person. Now he also left that person. We have no clue where he is this second, but odds are he found yet another. We don't know what to do.

Emily said she was having really strange dreams last night. She said they seemed important, but she said she can't remember everything. Plus she said she woke up before she got to ask an important question.

Right this second, a horrible feeling is lingering in the air. We feel very sad. Plus horrible feelings of denial are being broadcasted. It feels chaotic inside. Not good.

-Blackjack

I'm so confused. It looks like several of us were writing on here (while I was away). I don't know what to say. Super bad denial waves again. Plus I'm having REALLY BAD trouble with an insider. Well, two of them now. Another one teamed up with the really bad one. I don't know what to do.

Our T suggested that I talk to him, which I have been trying to do. Both are IMPOSSIBLE to talk to. I mean, I tried. They will not even consider talking to me for some reason. They just want to be incredibly rude and miserable.

BUT they keep saying the same thing over and over to me. Basically they want me to (in "my nicer words") go through what they had to. BUT yet at the same time, they also say they want to get rid of me. They already tried that in the inner world. I just got back today (I feel like I lost A LOT of time). I'm pretty sure they think they succeeded, but they didn't. I haven't seen them today yet, so when they see me they are probably going to be mad. BUT yet, I have a lingering feeling as if they just want to make the inner world miserable for me. So maybe they deliberately knew their plan would fail. I have no clue.

I don't know what their problem is. I don't even think they know what they really want. At one point, the one said he wanted to be "the one and only host", BUT I'm 99% sure that isn't the case. Both of them seem to just be super angry at me or something. I think they might blame me for something, but I don't know what.

I just wish they would agree to talk to me. Even if it is just to vent to me about something. If they blame me for something, I really want to know their side of the story. At this point, I don't care how they talk to me, just as long as they are willing to talk. I really want to try to find a solution, or at least a truce, if possible.

The fact that it is now two of them instead of one, makes it all so much harder though.

It reminds me of some abusers' mindset that, if they had to go through abuse themselves, then they need to "get revenge" on others and abuse others.

If I may talk to your insiders: the best way for all system members to "go through the same things you have been through" is to start working on cooperation and integration because once the system is integrated enough, the traumatic material starts to be shared among alters. Therefore, the exact things you went through, will be shared and experienced by the rest of the system.

But it is the phase 3 of the treatment. The more you agree to work through phase 1 and 2 in therapy, the faster you'll reach phase 3 where you can share your trauma with others, share hosting with others, maybe take over the hosting role in turn, and so on.

This is the easiest and fastest way to have others go through what you have been through. Inner conflicts will only trap the system in therapy phase 1. While following through therapy phase 1 and 2 diligently, you can reach phase 3 and open the doors to share your pain with the rest of the system.

It's up to you to see what you want to do. Stay trapped into inner conflict, or move forwards untill you can share your pain with others inside.
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Uriel@Urielles.