How we currently are:

I thought I would just title it that. I don't know. I'm scared I'll be in trouble. Maybe the others will be mad at me. I don't know. I came out. Not sure why. Someone else was logged in here and had this window open. I guess they wanted to write. Now I am out and don't know why. I do have some things to say, so I guess, I will write a tad. I don't know if this needs a trigger warning for a word or not.

Just in case, TRIGGER WARNING:

We are having a lot of Earthquakes in our inner world lately.

END TRIGGER WARNING

I feel so disconnected from this body. I have no clue why I'm even out. Maybe to mention what I said above? I don't know. Our host is under a lot of stress due to a troublemaker. At least that is what she says. Not to me directly, but I overhear her telling the others. She doesn't know about me. Not yet anyway.

She will grab her head. She clearly is in distress from what a troublemaker is saying to her. Stuff like this happened before, and she managed to work it out with others. This one seems to be a lot more tricky. She keeps saying out loud: thoughts are popping into her mind that are really distressing her. Plus I heard her say some guy is laughing at her. I also heard her tell some of the others: She said she hears some guy scream "Where is she?" She says it must be only her that can overhear that. She says she thinks he is screaming at the others. I feel I know who it is. The protectors were whispering. They know too. She also said to the others: She felt him before, multiple times. The torment comes in waves.

Being how I know there is a troublemaker looking for her, right this second, plus being how he looks for her for a long time and then gives up: after about several weeks to a month of not finding her: it most definitely has to be him. Now I'm aware he is not the only one she is having problems with lately. She knows it is not the other guy, so it must be this guy I am thinking of. Plus if I am right: that guy is super mad. He wants her. He is super mad. I probably should not have written. The others may be mad. I don't know. I feel that way. Someone is super mad right now. Maybe he is nearby. He is not one to be messed with. He wants our host. In our world, he can control fire. We have a protector who can also control fire. Protector is totally different from mean guy. This guy is mean. I mean meeeeeeeeeannnnnn. What I said above got a lot worse since he started looking for her again. He must be connected to that.

(Oh)

Ponyta wrote:I thought I would just title it that. I don't know. I'm scared I'll be in trouble. Maybe the others will be mad at me. I don't know. I came out. Not sure why. Someone else was logged in here and had this window open. I guess they wanted to write. Now I am out and don't know why. I do have some things to say, so I guess, I will write a tad. I don't know if this needs a trigger warning for a word or not.

(Oh)

Hi "Oh". Is that your name? Sorry if I'm wrong. I'm not mad at you. If you want to talk, please feel free to talk to me. We also have our own journal. You are more than welcome to write in it, if you wish to do so. I won't be mad if you write in it. In fact I would be happy to have your help. I would love to talk to you (in writing or even in-person in our inner world).

Please feel free to talk. I feel I know who you are, but I may be wrong. May I ask, is "Oh" the last part of your name? If so, I feel I know who you are. We never met yet, but I was told about you. I would love to meet you. Even if I'm mistaken, and you aren't who I think you are. I care about every single one of you (insiders). I would love to hear from you, no matter who you are. I promise that I won't be mad at you for talking to me. In fact, I would love to hear from you.

-Emma

Since one of us made this post, I guess I'll write what I wanted on here, instead of creating a new one, or pulling our old one up. I hope that's alright.

I see (Oh) mentioned something about the troublemaker. I typed a long overview of what is going on, but then deleted it, because I didn't like what I wrote.

Basically, there is a troublemaker who is literally "roaring" with anger (in the inner world). He is looking for me, and me only. I heard a lot (including the protectors), are aware of that. I was wondering how do you deal with one who apparently is SERIOUSLY ANGRY. Plus he can control fire in our inner world. How can I try to talk to him "calmly" without a huge conflict?

I know I talked to others who were angry before, but their anger was NOTHING like this. In fact, I believe his anger is worse than all of those ones combined, and then some.

He doesn't know where I am. I don't know where he is (in the inner world), but he is looking for me. I hear him holler "Where is she?" I also hear him holler out in frustration. He is trying to find me (from what I heard, on and off for A LONG time). I feel this time he will find me though.

From what I heard, The world he is from, reunited with our "Main" inner world (that's probably why I can hear him A LOT clearer now). Also apparently why he was never able to find me before (because our "worlds" were separated).

I don't know what to do. Should I go look for him, or wait until he finds me? Plus when we do meet, how should I try to "reason" with him? I plan on listening to what he says, but I'm not sure what he wants. He might not talk (he might just start a conflict). All I know is that he is SERIOUSLY ANGRY. Angry isn't even a strong enough word to describe it.

I don't know what would be better.

Would it help defuse the situation if I went to him first (instead of waiting until he finds me)? Or should I just wait for him?

I don't know we have an angry one too that flies out in a rage. For us it seems to be connected to hormones (time of month) that triggers them in the first place, but I'm not sure what they are angry about.

We left them a message in our journal, but they haven't answered so I don't know if they've seen it yet. I haven't feel them come out since they last flew out in a rage over a week ago now I think (I'm not very good with judging passing time as our alters switch quite a bit).

Can you leave them a message?

Jody

Thank you Jody, for your reply! It is greatly appreciated!

I never thought about that before. Maybe this angry one is connected somehow to our "hormones" too. I'm not 100% sure, but since you mentioned it, I do feel maybe there is a connection.

About writing him a message, I believe that's a good idea, but I'm not sure what to say to him. I don't want to accidentally say something that might make him angrier (because I'm not even sure why he is angry in the first place.

I just thought I could ask one of the protectors, but I just realized I can't. The protectors want me to stay away from this guy, BUT I know(I have a really strong feeling) he is going to find me anyway. It's just a matter of time.

Would asking him why he is so angry, help, or just make him more angry? I know that it is hard to answer that question though. Some things that might help with other systems, don't work with every system.

I do know that there is a 50/50 chance (in our system) though, so that makes me unsure what to do. Some troublemakers appreciate being asked why they feel so bad, while others will get EVEN WORSE for spite. Usually those ones claim I already know why (and refuse to believe me, that I don't honestly know why). I kinda feel like this guy might be one of those, but I'm not 100% sure. It could be he is so frustrated about not being able to find me, BUT from what I heard, he is REALLY MEAN.

Not doing good AT ALL right now. I feel a HORRIBLE, I mean HORRIBLE wave of anger. It's like it feels like it is going to explode anger, and I know it isn't me. If I had to say, it's coming from that guy (troublemaker).

I decided I'm going to go try to find him. I heard where he was going earlier (from an insider). I don't know if he's still there, or not. If he is, hopefully it doesn't end in chaos.

I'm only going to look for him because his anger is getting worse, not better. Plus I (and several others) think he is so angry it is affecting the inner world itself. We are getting tons of shock-waves going all over the place, and that isn't good at all. Plus from what I heard, there is an even bigger problem, that might happen, if he is causing the shock-waves.

Hopefully he won't get angrier if he "finds me", or I manage to find him tonight. I'm definitely NOT going to tell him in any way to calm down because I know that would just make things a thousand times worse. I'm just going to see what he says first, before I say anything (I don't accidentally want to say the wrong thing). I might say "Hello" though, to get his attention if he doesn't see me at first, (or if he does see me, to try to be nice).

Hopefully it is better than I feel it's going to be. (due to past experiences, with some past/current troublemakers)

Letting you know that we read, we care, and we send our moral support through this painful experience.

__
David.

I don't know if this will help, but we are trying some supplements that help the body feel calmer and rebalance the hormones a bit, at TOTM in the hope that the hormones won't be so unbalanced it triggers 'rage'.

Last night was rough with someone in tears until 2.30am thinking about whether they should pack the house up to make it easier for family in case we got covid and then upset abut not knowing what to do if family got covid. Previously there was a big family of inlaws who would have sorted all that out but now they are divorced and we've never seen the partner or her family since...so now if our sibling passed we'd have to do all that and it was like a sudden realisation we wouldn't know what to do and the amount of interaction that would be involved.

We cancelled the 5am alarm when we were still awake at 2.30am! ..but then the field was busier when we took the dog out (5 other dogs there, ours isn't good with other dogs couldn't let him off) and felt like 'too many people' so went to another field. Body is still exhausted, I'm still feeling it but can't go back to bed cos waiting for deliveries and food shop.


Hoping we will feel happier by the end of the day as promised our little Susie (6) she can come out for a cream cake later after the shopping comes and we'll play on Animal Crossing with her!

Jody