Sudden depression and despair

There was a mild problem today and because of that I started to get a lot of thoughts about me getting fired from my job, everything is pointless, I have no way out and whatever. I just feel like crying and completely useless human being. I hate when it gets like this almost everytime something small happens. I just wanted to write this here and seek for support since I feel so alone, even I'm not. I'm just too bad, too weak and too far away from everything and everyone.

I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing this. I can relate and I think almost all of us here can too. In my experience, this wave of fear comes from other alters, always littles. If we do enough reflecting and if communication opens up, we can sometimes identify exactly what it was that triggered us into that place. That helps avoid the same degree of fear and hopelessness next time and sometimes it stops it all together, helping the little at the same time.

We've labeled it catastrophizing. That doesn't mean there's nothing in the initial trigger that warrants attention, but our emotional reaction is way beyond what's actually happening in the present. For us, the reaction is to stuff in ourpast, things that were terrifying. It made sense then to have a sense of doom and feel there was no way out because it was reality for us in the past. But since we have the mental resources of an adult now and the danger then is no longer physically present, our littles need to be helped to understand at least some of that.

It's helped to communicate in any way possible to the alters who seem to hold the fears we're feeling. For us, this involves speaking aloud to those inside but others with DID journal or talk silently inside. We assume that we're talking to someone young so we try to explain things as we would to a child.

One approach that's worked is to say that John -- the body name and the name of a key host -- grew up and is now an adult and a parent. We say or think "John knows how to do adult things and will take care of you so try not to be afraid, you don't have to fix things. Let John handle it."

Admittedly, we can always do this when we're swamped with feelings of terror, hopelessness, weakness, etc. Even if you can say words like "we're going to be okay, the adults will be able to deal with this," even if you yourself don't fully believe the words as you're saying them. It's kind of self-soothing talk and I figure it should work even for those who aren't necessarily diagnosed with DID but have what they identify as child states.

Johnny-Jack wrote:I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing this. I can relate and I think almost all of us here can too. In my experience, this wave of fear comes from other alters, always littles. If we do enough reflecting and if communication opens up, we can sometimes identify exactly what it was that triggered us into that place. That helps avoid the same degree of fear and hopelessness next time and sometimes it stops it all together, helping the little at the same time.

We've labeled it catastrophizing. That doesn't mean there's nothing in the initial trigger that warrants attention, but our emotional reaction is way beyond what's actually happening in the present. For us, the reaction is to stuff in ourpast, things that were terrifying. It made sense then to have a sense of doom and feel there was no way out because it was reality for us in the past. But since we have the mental resources of an adult now and the danger then is no longer physically present, our littles need to be helped to understand at least some of that.

It's helped to communicate in any way possible to the alters who seem to hold the fears we're feeling. For us, this involves speaking aloud to those inside but others with DID journal or talk silently inside. We assume that we're talking to someone young so we try to explain things as we would to a child.

One approach that's worked is to say that John -- the body name and the name of a key host -- grew up and is now an adult and a parent. We say or think "John knows how to do adult things and will take care of you so try not to be afraid, you don't have to fix things. Let John handle it."

Admittedly, we can always do this when we're swamped with feelings of terror, hopelessness, weakness, etc. Even if you can say words like "we're going to be okay, the adults will be able to deal with this," even if you yourself don't fully believe the words as you're saying them. It's kind of self-soothing talk and I figure it should work even for those who aren't necessarily diagnosed with DID but have what they identify as child states.

Thank you for this, you always reply with thoughtfulness and I appreciate that so much. <3

This explains a lot, even I'm not sure do we have littles but at least I have sensed something like that many times (like when I get strong impulses to buy plushies or dress barbies) and I will definitely try this next time. Some of these things I have already read about but taking that information into action in the moment is a whole different story..

As it has been said the communication part is still in the beginning and sometimes it even feels completely pointless, even tho the thoughts, emotions and internal turmoil alone can tell so much, even if it's not so verbal. And afterwards when the situation starts to feel better again, it's hard to handle and get a grasp because you can't even understand those reactions and feelings you had. But yeah this all makes more sense now. I'm also a parent so at least I have some experience how to explain this in a child like manner.

hi today i had this experience where i had felt this deep sadness, and i guess somewhat of a did thing maybe, something happened and I snapped right out of it in an instant. I think the alter that was at front maybe changed. i don't know, but that sort of thing kind of confirms for me that it's sometimes alters coming up with certain feelings and fears.