The beginning of our journey

I FOUND A THERAPIST. She is specialized in dissociation disorders, trauma and also neuropsychological disorders, which is 5/5 since I'm also diagnosed ADD. First half and hour I was very anxious and my hands were sweating, then she asked quite casually about my childhood and I started to dissociate and struggling to stay fully present. She seemed to understand dissociation like really well and liked my dark humour. I can only see her for twice a month tho before I can get our country's financial support for the therapy, still waiting to see the psychiatrist.. Anyway, I'm kind of excited and scared at the same time.

Last week was much easier than the week before. I had a few really good days. Then I started crashing but still staying strong. Trying to balance the work and my well-being is hard, I have to listen myself constantly and get rest from time to time so I won't sink into working too much and have some burnout again.

And the nightmares keep haunting me. Last night I woke up crying and woke up with a headache, tho I think the latter is because of periods.. I came to conclusion that only recurring theme in these dreams is death and also somewhat desolation from others I think. I don't know how to interpret that. Any thoughts?