Trying to explain past "spiritual" events

I'm currently seeing a psychologist to get my evaluation going.
It's difficult for me to differentiate between some parts and get any consistency but I am convinced it's either DID or OSDD b1. (I have met distinguished parts aswell)


One thing that bugs me is that I have had experiences in the past where I thought I could communicate with spirits. It started out in the setting of being "spiritual" and socializing with new age people so it wasn't weird or scary for me at the time.
I don't have those beliefs anymore and I'm not "spiritual" any longer.

Though there was an event a couple of years ago where I suddenly became convinced I could talk to the deceased grandfather of a friend and pass on messages from him.
This was enbarassing for me even at the time as I was trying to figure out what was going on, and it seems the messages wasn't even correct when told to the people who knew the grandfather.

Now I'm trying to figure out what the heck that was all about, it was so convincing to me at the time and I felt "forced" to pass on the messages that didn't even make sense to the people who got them.
(Told them there were some heirlooms they had to look for but there were no such things). And I just felt shame that I had these internal convictions and feelings that didn't leave me alone until I embarassed myself to that family.
(Luckily they were spiritual so they took it better than I did)

I don't seem to find any explanation when asking inside, they mostly present themselves with current or past emotions connected to memories events. Maybe some sparse info on what they are like but not much.

Does anyone have any clue on what this was?
As I said I don't believe in the supernatural and didn't believe in it at the time either, there must be some reasonable explanation for this. Was I delusional?

//you know, according to research made by scientists helped by mentalists and illusion magician artists (to be able to better check for frauds)**, apparently, most people who are genuinely convinced they can talk to spirit, just experience some sort of psychological phenomenon.//

//because it has a psychological explanation (self-suggestion, self-hypnosis, imagination, wishfull thinking, trance... the list goes on...) does not mean it is not important for the person who goes through the experience. it is something very common in humans to experience "funky" brain phenomenon and to give them a spiritual meaning. in fact, when used in a healthy way, the spiritual explanation can help deal with the psychological phenomenon. though it is a tricky balance to find between the two, since a too rational explanation can hurt a person's feelings and a too spiritual one can push the person towards denial, delusion, and hurting oneself and others.// (we have a book reference by a psychologist in french about it, if someone is interested)

//that being said, it is normal to give to something, the explanation that goes with your cultural sourroundings at a time. and in a society where everything psychological is branded "madness" and "psychosis" and other psychophobic ways of thinking, it is normal to shun the psychological explanations at first.//

//I understnad your feelings of shame. but, what you went through is normal and not uncommon. a lot of people start by believing in these things, and gradually, they realize the lack of proofs or rather, the proofs that it does not work, and un-believe in it. you were not the first, you will not be the last. rather, be proud that you managed to open your eyes to the lack of proofs you have (for now) about the phenomenon. it will still be time, later, if you get rock-hard proofs, to go back to believing. in the meantime, it is more cautious to not believe, because of lack of rock-hard proofs (or rather in your case, proofs that this did not work).//

//you are not ridiculous, you are wise. wiser (in my opinion) than people who, when faced with proofs that it does not work (so far), just invent new reasons in order to keep believing.//

//I hope I did not hurt any believer's feelings. I am merely trying to encourage people to stay safe and double-check what would the consequences be if they believe in something that is false. in some case, it changes nothing (we have religious folks in the system, the worse thing they can do by praying is, using time to do something that makes them feel good). in others, it can be hurtful (such as, believing that a placebo remedy is miraculous and stopping the medical remedy, for things that cannot be healed with a placebo such as bacterial infections or cancer. or, giving a huge amount of money to someone who is a fraud and knows that they are a fraud. yes, people like that exist and it is difficult to know who they are since they use illusionism methods to make the "clients" believe they really have powers).//

__
Ulysses

**if you are interested by this, James Randi did a lot of work about it. for french speaking people, Clément Freze and Max Est Là on Youtube. for additional ressources in french, do not hesitate to ask us.

Thank you ArbreMonde for your reply! Sorry I haven't been in for some time.
I just wanted to say that I read your answer and I'm still trying to figure it out. And I realize that I have had periods in my life with strange beliefs that has come into my life unprompted.

Hopefully I'll be able to figure out reality soon.

I have been there, done that.

Some of my anomalous experiences were very frightening. All were disturbing and unwelcome. I did not seek any of the experiences. Some might have been delusions but others were definitely real. My therapist at the time was very alarmed. Apparently this happens a lot with therapy clients (in fact, it is a big reason why people seek therapy), especially clients living with DID.

Sometimes, more with inexperienced therapists, clients who report anomalous experiences are assumed to be psychotic but anomalous experiences are a world apart from psychosis. For one, the client says "Am I going crazy?" Nope. If you are able to ask that question you are not crazy.

I consulted a variety of therapists, researchers, spiritual leaders, and others with relevant experience. The consistent take home message was that the boundaries of my psyche were too porous, letting stuff in, and if I wanted the anomalous experiences to stop I should consciously form that intention. So I did. I talked inside and out loud about wanting it to stop. Eventually it did, apparently.

Una+ wrote:I have been there, done that.

Some of my anomalous experiences were very frightening. All were disturbing and unwelcome. I did not seek any of the experiences. Some might have been delusions but others were definitely real. My therapist at the time was very alarmed. Apparently this happens a lot with therapy clients (in fact, it is a big reason why people seek therapy), especially clients living with DID.

Sometimes, more with inexperienced therapists, clients who report anomalous experiences are assumed to be psychotic but anomalous experiences are a world apart from psychosis. For one, the client says "Am I going crazy?" Nope. If you are able to ask that question you are not crazy.

I consulted a variety of therapists, researchers, spiritual leaders, and others with relevant experience. The consistent take home message was that the boundaries of my psyche were too porous, letting stuff in, and if I wanted the anomalous experiences to stop I should consciously form that intention. So I did. I talked inside and out loud about wanting it to stop. Eventually it did, apparently.

Thanks for your validating words!
Do you mean that we let too much stuff in due to being impressionable or are you talking in a spiritual sense about letting spirits in?
I had no interest in spirits etc. at the time but was into new age during my teenage years and early twenties.
It was so odd that it would come back to me at that time, but I can see it happen if an alter still carries certain beliefs... (I stopped believing very abruptly one day, maybe I switched?)

I mean in a spiritual and psychological sense.

My experience is that paranormal experiences are real, and some people are far more receptive or vulnerable than others to these outside influences. But we have a choice, and if we are aware we can choose to be open or not. We can choose to open or close an opening in our psychic skin just as we can open or close a physical window.

When I was in crisis after an assault my psychic boundaries were somehow torn open. Then for a few years I suffered a wide variety of intrusions. I even experienced spontaneous and very much unwanted clairvoyant observations of my therapist, terrifying both of us. How to close those openings is a bit of a mystery, but in general it is enough to know openings can exist, know they can be closed, and form the intention to close them.

I am sorry for such a delayed response. I didn't see this thread was updated until now.

I believe in spiritual experiences. i have had a few. Not a lot, but enough. Um I also am just about to go into therapy and don't know what to do to grapple with this. but i guess i don't know how relevant it is to therapy anyways. so maybe i just won't worry about it for now unless there is some reason it comes up.