Any age sliders out there?

Is age sliding something an alter can learn to conciously control?

One of our littles appeares to be an age slider but we are concerned about how this could impact the stability of our cooperative.

Long story short the t advised that our littles stay little to keep the trauma at bay but this little wants to grow up. So far attempts to do so have resulted in flashbacks when she returns to the innerworld. These flashbacks stop as soon as she regresses to pre trauma age. It's like the outer world is enough to keep trauma at bay while fronting but as soon as she steps back the trauma is attracted to her older form.

As protector I feel like the best answer would just be for her to stay little. Our other little is perfectly happy that way . But that's not what she wants.

So I'm wondering if any other age sliders could kinda clue me in on what to expect. Could she learn to conciously slide so internally she is pretrauma and externally she is what ever age she fancies and if not how do you get through your trauma years without triggering ptsd

Hi,

We have several age sliders. Our experience is that sliding happens for us when there's a trigger, usually negative. Our age sliders usually return to what we call their "base age" after the trigger is resolved.

We would strongly advise against trying to control the age of anyone in the system. They identify as specific age(s) for a reason.

We'd also advise against comparing one member of the system to another. While they are parts of the same collective, they are separate identities, each with their own life experience and way of relating to the world.

Lastly, we would advise against trying to force anyone to "pre-trauma age." Even if we have accurate factual memory of all our trauma history, different traumas usually happen at different times to different alters.

Even if we knew which alter experienced which trauma and when, no one in the system has a right to force anyone else in the system to process trauma in a certain way. This includes trying to force an age change. Each individual is who they are, and the age(s) that they are, no matter how we may wish otherwise.

We respectfully hope that you give these points further thought for the benefit of your system.

MDs

We agree with MDs.

And it sounds like she's learning how to be big on the outside and little on the inside, which is what she wants. It might just take some practice. I didn't understand why she couldn't talk on the outside when she was big, but maybe that will take some practice also.

Thanks MD and gang.
You make some good points. Previous poster was system wide protector. I am ex-persecutor now guardian for this little.

Agreed nothing should be forced on an alter. Have been fighting for her right to front.

Think muteism is trauma based when I ask she simply says "they stole it"

For clarification the littles nominated their own pretrauma age during therapy. T asked when is last safe memory. Peter is 7, Eli 10.

Think biggest difference is Peter went dormant while body was still a child so hasn't developed a taste for adult life Eli didn't go dormant until 17 so childhood seams restrictive. At least that's the impression I get when we blend. Blended with me is currently the only way to sneek her past the protector.

We will have a system meeting tonight to discuss this. It needs to be properly discussed.

Thanks for imput.

Ps. Should we start putting our ages down when we sign so folk can see which of us is posting?

Eli (24)

Eli, thank you for considering our feedback. It's up to you whether you give your ages when you post, whether in your forum signature, your individual post signatures, or both.

It varies among forum members whether they divulge specific names and ages. Some forum members sign their posts as a system, some sign their posts as individuals, and some don't sign their posts at all. Our system usually does a combination of the first two of these, depending on who's posting and why. Since our forum signature includes names and ages of individuals most likely to post or be mentioned, we may sign names (but not ages) to individual posts.

If you don't mind clarifying, do you use the name Eli to refer both to the entire system and to certain specific individuals within the system?

MDs

So as alters join the cooperative they loose their original name and go by the name of Eli. There are currently 5 Eli's It's symbolic of the fact that in the corporative we are now or at least ment to be totally co-con if we are not blended we are observing and anyone is supost to be able to front at any time they like. We also were supost to abandon our origal roals and just try to live more rounded lives. This works seamlessly between the adults . But since the little joined our origanal protector has reverted back to protector controling mode. Which is wrong this kid is a kidult she has a lot of adult skills and if she is willing to take on the responsibilities of adult life then she should get time out.

Our inner world has like 3 steps to front. Conscious observer no influence. Observer with influence and then fully fronting. The protector has entrenched herself in observer with influence and is basically blocking the little from moving beyond observer status. When I can I blend with the little inorder to get her past the protector then once we are out front we will either stay blended or I will step back and let her front solo. ( Just cos we can share all our thoughts and memories doesn't meen we do)

While everybody being called Eli sounds confusing we still have our own boddies internally so no confusion there. Bf has our permission to use old names of he isn't sure who is front but nowadays he can generally tell by our facial expressions . I squint a lot aperently and the protector is always frowning lol hohum.

Thanks for explaining.

MDs

Eliseahorse wrote:While everybody being called Eli sounds confusing we still have our own boddies internally so no confusion there.

*smiles gently* I'll resist the urge to post the Monty Python 'Bruce' skit. As long as y'all aren't confused, that's all that matters- as for myself, I just find the proliferation of 'S' names in my maybe-system to be confusing as hell. I don't even want to think about everyone having the same name!

back to the matter at hand, beginning to feel as if Sabrina wavers between 12-14, so I suppose that would constitute age sliding, albeit on a very small scale? Sometimes she feels older, by just a little, and sometimes more childish.