Revictimization *Heavy SRA Trigger Warning*

How often does revictimization happen? Especially with ritual abuse?

Our system doesn't believe it happened when we were kids in a group with the original dark text. Even though, last year, they met the original with the same name. (Dark Text is just a code name we made up for anonymity on the forum) and learned that he worked with our dad in early childhood. Other then that there wasn't much interaction, our parents did more talking than we did.


Anyways, recently I got involved with an online group of esoteric "spiritual" stuff lead by a guru/teacher...

************TRIGGER WARNING***************
I should have spotted the signs right away, from the beginning the leader would call us names and bully others. I and a lot of others though it was "training" and tough love. And that the leader was really soft on the inside, like Dark Text. There was even an accusation of him sexualizing a 15 year old, which the leader got away with. Yet even with all the bad stuff, the name calling and the general toxic environment, I couldn't get away.

They had a mind control technique (We call it reprograming your subconscious mind) And a lot of people followed his teachings because it promised them money and power, which a few of them did gain. And as we followed him, I noticed we started to change. (Not the whole system, just me and some others who were around this time). We were more courageous, but mean and toxic. Other people in the group were experiencing it too, and everyone thought it was normal. There were so many red flags we didn't see, and we thought everything was good.

I didn't know how bad this leader was, until he was demanding me to do sexual acts for him. And implying that he was the devil, and I was marked by the beast. I don't know how I got away, I think it was Angela, the strongest Christian in our group, who reached out to our parents and pastor and safely escape. There are still a lot of people involved in the group.

The whole thing shocked a lot of us. For the longest time, Angela was warning people of the "end times" and acting paranoid. At a certain point, we really believed he was the devil because of an accident that happened with a family member and a friend that landed them both in the hospital on the same day as this was going on.

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A lot of my alters don't know about this recent event. The most aware alters show up mainly during the good times, and only a few of us handle this type of thing.

I don't know much about what happened the first time we were in a SRA cult. Dark Text knows the most and a lot of information about our past is not allowed/locked up tightly.

I just wanted to share my story, and hear about others who experienced something similar. How do you deal with revictimization?

safety first.
cut contact with everyone you are not 1000% sure is not involved in organized abuse.
that often includes parents or other former care-givers.
Get professional help.
trust nobody fully until you know exactly what kind of info about past cult abuse is still hidden from you. A T can help you explore that safely.
if parts of you think its not bad and they want to return, share with them how bad it really is/was.

we know some people who are still accessed by abuser groups and the main problem is often the non-realization for how bad it is. It leads to not setting boundaries or seeking safety.
'Becoming yourself' by Alison Miller is a good self-help book to stop programming.