Never good enough...

That's great, Pixie!! I'm glad that your T is so supportive, and that you have a clear plan of how to deal with any future boundary-crossing.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:That's great, Pixie!! I'm glad that your T is so supportive, and that you have a clear plan of how to deal with any future boundary-crossing.

I am confident that had my messages been just as emotionally reactive as my mother's, he would have not been so kind with his wording. He pisses us off sometimes that way, but he NEVER holds back when honesty is needed. It's frustrating at times, but it's a good thing.

At this point, as Pixie said, the ONLY way we'll get messages from her is if she picks up the phone and calls or if she e-mails. The same boundary applies. As someone said before (I forget who, I'm sorry) in this thread- seeing the pattern of this beyond the last 20 year since I moved out, even into childhood and how these tendencies and criticisms and such almost certainly (we're 99% sure) created parts of our system... We can't, for our own good, subject ourselves to this $#%^ anymore. We won't do it.

Thanks for all your support and advice- everyone that replied here. I can't say how much it means to me and helped.

Good work Zor. It's hard keeping boundaries. She's working way too F-ing hard just to slip the knife in one more time. I get you're tried of it.

Stay safe. Stay strong. Shields up.

Colin

oOo Sending moral support your way. Maintining boundaries is a difficult task. We have a lot to learn from your persistence.

oOo I sincerely hope that you will no longer have to go "all-in" to maintain her at the proper distance.

__
van Hohenheim.

It's been TOTALLY SILENT on this front... All's good so far. We'll see how the holidays go.

Nice start for the holidays. Nothing like a little 'Silent Night'.

Colin

Good Luck Zor. Happy Holidays.

Hi Zor,

We hope everything worked out this holiday. Maybe this year was better and safer for you. Hope so.

Iain

IainEtc wrote:Hi Zor,

We hope everything worked out this holiday. Maybe this year was better and safer for you. Hope so.

Iain

We didn't get a card, a call, or even a post mention... silence. It sucks and hurts that she would rather choose NO relationship with us than to actually give a damn enough to TRY to have a healthy one.
But this is her choice, not ours. It was ok, even if a little sad. But, it's better than the #######4 we were dealing with before... honestly, I prefer this to what we have been dealing with.

Hi Zor,

Sorry it hurts. It's not your fault your mom is stupid.

Iain