Alters in a relationship?

Hi all. It's been a while since we've been on and a lot of good changes have happened.

Recently two of us in the system, Akane and Neko, have officially decided they're in a relationship and consider eachother boyfriends. I personally find it adorable, and think they're cute together. However I'm also not sure what this means as I've only heard of systems with alters in relationsips but have yet to really talk to any. Akane would love to let some of our partners and friends who are aware of our system know, but Neko doesn't want anyone knowing (it took a lot of discussion to convince him to let me post this).

Any systems out there who have or have had relationships amongst alters have any advice or maybe could help answer a bit of confusion? Sorry this wasn't very specific, I'm not really sure what to ask here.
-Alex

I think it's cute too when parts fall in love. It brings lots of positive feelings to the system, so there's nothing negative about it. Congrats to them.

What would you (or them) wanna know about other systems?

We've had tons of relationships in our system, but some of them are already in the past and erased. In our created inner world things change when parts themselves change, which is why erasing relationships afterwards is possible. The "outcome" of the relationship, how parts get along and feel about each other, stay as they were, but the story of why and how things happened and they ended that way, will be shortened hugely, and sometimes all love life aspects of it will be totally gone, like they never happened.

It is logical why, for example when part's sexual orientation changes, love relationship that doesn't match with their orientation can no longer be. The version of themself they've become now wouldn't have done it. Newest breakup in our system was Sami and Lucas. Reason for the change originally was to get home for little(s), but other things changed too. Lucas is still bisexual like he used to be, but more religious. Sex with other male or outside of marriage is NO to him, so he and Sami never happened. There were love, but no sex, nor actual relationship.

Relationships between parts I can recall:

ERASED:
Sami (male) - Ferro (male) = were together couple of years in outside time, both were adults at that time. Their relationship was physically very violent and those were hard times for the whole system. IDK, maybe the violence was there because of the chaos of outside life, because outside does affect inside, but that's just a guess. After changing process, Ferro is fully straight. Their relationship is now erased.

Ferro (male) - Anastasia (female) = both adults at the time, although in main inner world Ferro is nowadays a teenager. Relationship erased?

Sami (male) - Fourteen (male) - Lucas (male) = were in triangle relationship at some point after Lucas appeared into the main inner world and changed it's dynamics big time. All teenagers, probably went for relationship to prevent fighting. (Make love, not war..) Relationship got erased after they settled down.

Sami (male) - Lucas (male) = were together also couple of outside years. Relationship erased.


ONGOING:
Sami (male) - Fourteen (male) = on and off depending on the situation of the system. In some parallel reality they've been together continuously for a long time. Teenagers. This relationship is now changing, which is huge news to the system, since they've been together "forever". However, Fourteen seems to be getting more and more straight. (Maybe because of spending a lot of time in outside world lately?)

OTHER:
There are also other inner world relationships, but they're not between two parts, but a part and "an NPC".

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If you wonder some inconsistencies, Sami is an age slider both in- and outside. His age inside depends on who he is with. (Our system doesn't do relationships between teens and adults.) As you can see, there's 5 relationships above and Sami's name is in 4 of them. That's somehow important to our system, to get other guys close to him. When a new guy appears into created inner world, they fall in love with Sami first. We don't know why, but since in DID everything is logical, we think it's some kind of safety thing. Sami is in charge of the system and the safety of it. For some reason, when other guys are closer to Sami, they get gayer, and when they get further from him, it might turn out they are actually fully straight. They never breakup like in real relationships you have to, but due to parts going to a changing process "when it's time" and after that it's just like nothing ever happened. So, in a way there's just feelings of falling in love, but not really hard feelings of breakups.

Things used to be different before tho, when parts didn't know or realize the changes, when they weren't aware of DID and how they live in two worlds. Now that everyone is way more aware of everything, memories don't disappear as easily anymore.

Systems are different, this is how ours work. What ever the reason might be. We don't know any other systems, that'd have relationships in such an essential role in the way the system works. All systems we know with relationships seem to have their relationships really long lasting. But compared to other systems, our parts also seem to change a lot. Probably because what really happened to us is so well hidden, they don't remember it, and almost everything about them is symbolic. Symbols can change, real life memories can't.

If you wanna ask something, I'm trying to get Lucas in here to answer. He doesn't know much about theories of DID, but he has lived in relationships, and still does and likes to help. I'm trying to find him anyway, he's been away for awhile again. Fourteen might say something too, depending what do you wanna know. Sami knows the best, but he won't share. He probably knows all those things that are suppose to remain secret.

I don't know if this was any help, but at least we're system with relationships. I couldn't date inside the system myself tho, it'd break some silent inner rules. I'm different from other parts that way.

Flor

oOo There are couples here too in our system.

oOo Lust (she/her) and Ulysses (he/him).

oOo Me (he/him) and my wife (she/her).

oOo Reyna (she/her) and Isaïa (he/him).

oOo There are other couples among the "NPC" and also among alters who never front (and therefore are not listed in our signature).

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van H.

SystemFlo thank you. I guess I was worried how it could effect/what it means for the system as a whole, as well as what might happen if they break it off. Hopefully we work similar to you, we're finally at a very stable point in our system and I'm honestly a little scared of it getting thrown way off.
- Alex

My only worry is that if our partners see it as something to worry about. We also do not want to fuse (not sure the proper term), as the last time that happened the resulting alter was their own new person. Akane and I really enjoy eachother's company and the ability to be intimate, so we really do not want to fuse.
~ Neko

Hi, Alex is typing for me because I'm staying inside for a bit for reasons seperate of this convo. I'm really happy with Neko, we've been close for basically since we both existed. It's really nice to have him there with me, and he helps me through the tough times like now. I'd really like to get some art of us together, and tell friends and partners (who know of the system) both so they know what's happening as well as cause I wanna show off how happy I am with him.
~ Akane