Mad alter (II)

I'm mad cause I'm not mad. I'm really trying to act all different moods to confuse my core. To get attention about not smoking, or listening to me. I want her to get out but this pandemic is crazy. I want her to be better. But I need help as well. We met a guy I like but he's in London. And we're in the USA. He accepted me which I like but I need to accept that my core is human as I am and we need peace together. I need to tell her to not smoke and just deal with my crazy. Or tell her it can be ok if we can take higher level pills which I'll hate and won't take. I'll just act more crazy. What I want is to be understood that I need my time and it may take more time than she can handle. And hospital is not the answer. Cause I need to say I'm sorry for being crazy and mad at the world cause of a rape I covered up years ago. But I'm not over the fact of the way we live cause I blame myself for causing my core harm during the time she needed me most. While I took completely over to protect her in our way.

Have you tried just, sitting down and writing a letter to your core to explain all of this? That you need her attention, that you are sorry, that you need help to work with her... Just simply, sit down and say / write to her all that you feel.

Sometimes, it's the first step in opening up communication and getting issues sorted out.

Good luck,

--Zami--

Panther1830 wrote:I'm mad cause I'm not mad. I'm really trying to act all different moods to confuse my core. To get attention about not smoking, or listening to me. I want her to get out but this pandemic is crazy. I want her to be better. But I need help as well. We met a guy I like but he's in London. And we're in the USA. He accepted me which I like but I need to accept that my core is human as I am and we need peace together. I need to tell her to not smoke and just deal with my crazy. Or tell her it can be ok if we can take higher level pills which I'll hate and won't take. I'll just act more crazy. What I want is to be understood that I need my time and it may take more time than she can handle. And hospital is not the answer. Cause I need to say I'm sorry for being crazy and mad at the world cause of a rape I covered up years ago. But I'm not over the fact of the way we live cause I blame myself for causing my core harm during the time she needed me most. While I took completely over to protect her in our way.

Hiya! I really wanted to help then when I was logging Smokey started coming through. He's my alter that likes to smoke. So now we've got all confused.

We're only just getting used to the dissociation so it is really difficult sometimes. Just recently though I've been talking with Smokey (verbally). I don't know if this is a convenient way to communicate for others with this disorder but it really has helped to just open up that line of communication whether it be talking or writing.

Sorry I can't be of more help but best of luck to you and yours.

Thanks for all the responses. I love my core. And said I needed more pills for myself. I needed thorazine. To help me listen better. So I'll just say whatever works for you in the past. Keep trying till something works! I love my core Panther she's the best so loving.

The thing I need to say is I'm sorry for being a bad alter. I really haven't done my job. Except for candy. But I don't want her to get diabetes. I need to stop smoking and keep it up. Without being not caring about where and what we might get. I'm sure others will understand what I've just done. I'm admitting I'm not right and I'm her only alter from when she was diagnosed did from me not being scared cause she told me exactly what I should do. I was so scared of her dieing cause she was so sick before I came.

You are not bad. You just have more room for progress.

You know what behaviors need to be changed and this is a very good start.

Remember, you and your headmate are a team. Working together will make you both stronger.

-David-

Can you just try and cut back with the smoking for the time being?

Don't try and do it all at once. It's a hard habit to break.

Do you chew gum?

I love smoking cigarettes but I've been smoking cheap cigars. I need to quit so we can live much better I only like the flavor of him so we got patches. I need to help my core and be better. I know I'm not bad but need to start acting better for us both. I know I can be better so we can live better. And get more things we need.. like my favorite sugar cookies my core makes for me they have delicious lemon icing. I love them so much and won't overdue them this year. I hope to find more friends as well that will accept me as an alter. Like her really good friends that are more real than fake people.

(changed title to differentiate from other thread, per edit notes in the original post)